FREE TO BE - the Goddess in Me

EmmaMamie & our Family

2011-06-11T21:50:00.006-04:00

Today I spent all day at the Artist as an Entrepreneur Institute. I left the house at 8:00 a.m. and returned after 7:00 p.m. This is the first time since EmmaMammie has joined our household that I have been apart from her for so long.

I came home tired and sore. Sitting and learning inside for 4-6 hour stretches creates a lot of stress on my joints. Sister Goddess Candis came over to give me a thai massage - yummy body love. As we settled into my yoga studio, ZekoMeow and GingerMama entered the room and joined us. Elly Belly was surveying us all from under the bed. This is usually the routine when healing chi takes place. All of our souls are together in the room - feeling and grounding the energy.

Tonight, I am extremely sensitive. Being around 59 creative souls has opened up energy channels and neural pathways that were long dormant. My fingers and toes tingle and Sister Goddess Candis cannot apply any pressure at all. She lays her fingers down and lets her heat seep into me. Rather than our usual stretches, we are rotating the joints - slow and easy.

To my surprise, EmmaMammie made an appearance. She purred her way over to the yoga mats - sashaying her way right past GingerMama without even a hiss or a nod to ZekoMeow and Elly Belly. As Candis massaged the crown of my head, EmmaMammie jumped over my throat. I felt her tail swishing as it touched my lips. I sensed my throat chakra activate. Just as Candis was moving her fingers down my scalp and onto my temples, EmmaMammie did it again. She jumped over my throat from the opposite direction - her tail swishing my heartspace.

She then settled on a Zabufon pillow and purred as she watched the gentle stretching and touching occur. My family sat there and held sacred space while I released the tension built up in my body. I let go of the emotions I picked up. I adjusted to the new level of sensitivity and allowed myself to go deep into my body.

Thank you EmmaMammie for joining our family tonight in ritual. Thank you for sharing your love with Sister Goddess Candis and holding sacred space for me to learn about my sensitivities and how the CHI flows within me.

Day 2 - EmmaMammie

2011-06-07T11:11:00.009-04:00

Hi World - this house is so exciting.

The DOG (they call her GingerMama) got the humans going at 5:45 a.m. this morning. Goddess peeked in to check up on me. We got to snuggle for a few minutes and then she gave me fresh water. Woohoo. She closed the door. I think I'll go back to bed.

Woohoo - she's back - she smells so yummy - like grass and trees and dog and wait - she's putting something down on the floor in a pretty blue bowl - I think it's food - a big stretch - I am getting up for some of this.

Today, I would like to get a better perspective of my space. I'm going to jump up on the table and take a look. An IPAD - ha ha ha - lots of heat coming out of this thing - I'll just rub my head here.

A gray Meow walked into my room today - looked like he owned the place - walked right across the room and jumped onto the windowsill and then he was gone. Perhaps I will go for a little walk today myself and explore this house and the smells and the sounds or maybe I will go take another nap for Meow.

The Gray Meow growled an intro - my name is Senor Zeko - follow the rules Little One and we will get along just fine. He even let me jump onto his bookshelf and take a catnap together. Woohoo. Meow for nowe

A new Soul

2011-06-05T21:26:00.001-04:00

Today I met my Fairy GodMother and the GodFather.

They brought me Emma.
She came in a little pink cat box - so shy and sweet.

I prepared a space for her in my creative room - she crawled under the cabinets until she could scope out her new surroundings.

Books and more books - a standing Pilates machine - a bench - some drums - a table - electronics - and three HUmans - the GodParents and me.

Emma came out and gave the GodFather a headbump - rubbed herself around his legs and approved of the situation.

Noah walked into the room and joined us. Emma, LOVERGirl that she is, immediately recognized my LOVERBoy and made him her own. Ha ha ha.

She fell in love with her bed and retired - so much excitement in one day - aware that there is so much more to explore and other souls to meet - her water untouched, she purred herself to sleep.

Watching this soul stirs up so many emotions for me - missing Lucky Girl and feeling so blessed for the opportunity to open my heart and home to this sweet soul. Watching Emma she looks right into my eyes, stretches and comes to headbump me - her purr so strong and pure. "EmmaMammie" she tells me. "EmmaMammie" I put out into the Universe. She headbumps me again and wraps her tail around my wrist. "EmmaMammie" welcome home.

Thank you Fairy Godmother Natty and GodFather Eddy for this OMazing gift of life and putting our soul family back together again.

Romanian Adventures

2011-06-02T17:46:00.000-04:00

Here are some of the pictures of my trip to Romania - such sweet memories - and of course being in the Mountains. Woohoo.

Romanian Adventures

Pusi Pusi

2011-06-01T10:49:00.004-04:00

which means Kiss Kiss in Romanian and is the name of the PussyCat above with whom I shared a bed. I spent a week in Romania with my Mom visiting my Mom's Mom - my Mamama. Decided to go back to the roots and uncover all of our mama dramas.

My grandma lives in Bucarest with her pussycat, Pusi. We spent two days walking around this city (a miniature Paris with its own Eiffel Tower) and eating - COVRIGI (homemade pretzels) and KLATITE (crepes) and DOVLECEI (light green zucchini).

Then we took a 3 1/2 hour train ride to Brasov, a little town in the midst of mountains. This is where my Mom spent her childhood - swimming and hiking and playing.

I found a boutique hotel about 6 miles out of town and into the mountains - Poaina Brasov (which is a ski resort). This place is called Chambers n Charms - it only has 9 rooms - of which 5 are suites. I rented a Moroccan themed room with a bathtub large enough for three. Upon entering our suite, you felt like you had left Romania and entered into another world. The decor was sublime - red walls and blue walls - and curtains to the ceiling and teapots and hookahs and candles and carpets. This suite was OMazing with a patio overlooking the mountains. Woohoo. And Mamama loved their all you can eat breakfast served every morning. A great Woohoo to Alexandru who met our every demand and made this a most magnificent stay.

We were met in town by friends of my parents (Doru and Michaela) who escorted us everywhere and then some. We even went to the town of Bran and saw the reputed castle of Count Dracului.

We met up with an Auntie I had never met yet - who prepared a 10 course meal (standard Romanian hospitality). I fell asleep in the third course - totally stuffed and catching up with my jetlag - ha ha ha.

We immersed ourselves in the wonderful mountain air and hiked (Mom and me) and ate farm fresh eggs and more COVRIGI and artisanal cheeses. We laughed and sang and shared stories.

It was OMazing reconnecting with the female members of my family - helped me recharge my batteries and get grounded. My next post will include more photos of this mother-daughter-grandmother excursion.

Deja vu - Signs from Above

2011-03-06T23:11:00.000-05:00

I asked the guy at the front desk if there used to be a French restaurant a few doors down. he told me yes, almost 10 years ago. wow! this is the same hotel I stayed with Auntie Maggie. Discovering that I am in the same space, all these years later, is a little bit like being in the twilight zone. Especially since Auntie Maggie passed away two weeks ago. I mean, what are the odds? Of all the hotels in New York? Ha ha ha.

the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Auntie Maggie was the first female in our family - and one of our matriarchs - to whom I opened up to about the Goddess. She read Empowering Women by Louise Hay because I asked her to so we could talk about it. she could totally relate and laugh with me regarding my experiences here. It's almost like having her here in spirit. My guardian angel. Watching over me in NYC.

I asked for a sign. I was guided to Osho's web site and found these words:

"There must have been something left undone, because it seems life is taking you back to a point that is hauntingly familiar. It’s only happening because your mind couldn’t conceive of the depth available, and you moved on too fast. Life won’t be side-tracked. Go deep. Dig a little more, go to the very end of it: you will always find purer gold, the deeper you go into yourself.”

Osho, The Beloved, Vol. 1, Talk #10

Ha ha ha. I am digging real deep Auntie Maggie. thanks for being part of my journey - even from beyond. Thank you for always empowering me to be in my feminine essence and follow my dreams. I love you, all ways.

school of womanly arts

2011-03-05T21:24:00.007-05:00

What an OMazing feeling - being in a room with 200+ Sister Goddesses - hailing from 33 states and 8 countries - all hear to remember about the sacred feminine art of pleasure. the air is palpable with excitement and anticipation. and then Mama Gena makes her grand entrance. It's electrifying.

She's even more OMazing in person than as the voice of our Pink Bible, School of Womanly Arts - which is page by page a manual on how to live life fully in our feminine essence. mama Gena is a pleasure expert, having made it her life lesson to research pleasure and reMIND her Sister Goddesses of the same.

Today, we learnt how to brag- how to share our accomplishments and focus with gratitude on the good in our life. We took dance breaks to connect our minds with our bodies and let the information sink in. we laughed, we cried, we shared stories and grew closer, as a group and as women.

10 of us had lunch together at Phillippe Chow (veggie lettuce wraps) as we exchanged names and where we were from and discovered synchronicities.

after class, I went back to Central Park to smell the trees and see some grass. I miss my abundant tree filled front lawn. so blessed to connect with even a little bit of nature in this big city.

Going back to the hotel, I had the sense of Deja vu. passing by Henri bendel's and arriving at my hotel from another direction, I realize I have been here before - many years ago, with my great Auntie Maggie. She would be so proud of me now.

We start the adventure again tomorrow.

New York, new York

2011-03-04T21:01:00.004-05:00

Signed up for Mama Gena's Mastery class.
Got on an airplane today and headed for the Big Apple for my first weekend of Sister Goddesses and learning the art of pleasure. A little nervous about being in the city by myself. However, my curiosity took over and I started walking and exploring this OMazing city.

I have a nice room at The Shoreham, 55th and 5th Avenue - seven blocks from Central Park. I desired to go to MOMA. Walking back to my hotel, I got lost and ended up in front of MOMA. I entered and they were giving free passes to the museum. Woohoo!

saw some fabulous art - six floors full - had a great walk - found some healthy food at The Pump (baked falafel on a bed of greens with some cucumber and carrots and a green drink for my morning breakfast).

Not having a bath at home and the jacuzzi being repumped - I am so very excited when i have a bathtub - i stopped at a pharmacy and bought bubble bath. I luxuriated in the hot water fragranced with jasmine and mint. And then i sat in the IJoy massage chair provided in the rooms and let it do its thing on my back, shoulders and neck.

So stoked about tomorrow and meeting other trendsetting women who call themselves Sister Goddesses.
very good, very good, yay!

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T13:11:00.000-05:00

WSM Noah and I had a Valentine's date last night.
What a beautiful end to a fabulous day.

We spent the day with our PEEPS - the people we love.
Long walk with GMama -
Spending the day with Uncle Josh
Valentine's dinner at Mom and Dad's with SoulMama and our family Peeps.
Dennis DeYoung performing STYX with an orchestra concert.
Woohoo.

Last night at the Broward Performing Arts Center Au Rene Theatre, I saw him live for the very first time - at age 62 - with the same voice I used to listen come out of my record player in 1981. Woohoo.

I was giddy with glee, belly full we settled into our seats. I heard him first and felt myself melting - somewhere back in time - a deeply embedded memory of playing records in the basement in Montreal. The 42 year old who sat down became a 14 year old hip hopping air drumming singing every lyric in your seat kind of neighbor. The orchestra was OMazing giving these rock ballad operas a depth to the auricular senses as the beat reverberated around us and through us. Total Emotional Intelligence. Ha ha ha.

WSM Dennis made me melt even more when he introduced us to his wife Suzanne of 42 years (we love you Suzanne) and then played Lady with an introductory Bolero de Ravel from the orchestra. Sigh. Heart open, body beat synchronizing to the common vibration - I felt true bliss in my heart - my head on Noah's shoulder, we sat in the relative dark - feeling our common heartbeat - we and our PEEPS. Peeps who knew the music before ME and after ME and chose to show up to soak it in.

We sang, we cried, we laughed, and we sang some more. WSM Dennis and his conception of creative harmony between the genres - Don't Let It End (with Claude Debussy Claire de la Lune) - Lorelei (with Mozart's Eine Klein Nacht) and some OMazing renditions of Sweet Madame Blue, Best of Times and the grande finale with Come Sail Away - alltime favorite - can even play the opening tune on the piano - ha ha ha.

We left the theatre feeling all warm and fuzzy - hearts full and happy.

Thank you LOVERBoy for your family and mine and WE.

Happy New Year

2011-01-27T05:55:00.007-05:00

HA HA HA - I'm back.

2010 was such an OMazing year of Growth for me.

I pushed myself hard to get out of my comfort zone and try new things. So many experiences I had that scared the BEjesus out of me and pushed me back into my shell where I BEcame a shellfish and stopped sharing. Ha ha ha.

Except the shell does not fit anymore. It cracked and the light of love filtered in.

Slowly, as the light warms me up, I have treaded on my tippy toes so I could examine the deep dark spaces that made me feel like hiding in the first place. Being the Lucky Girl I am, I am learning to balance ever so slowly as I find my way.

Using my muscles and superpowers, I am breathing and leaning into whatever comes my way - no longer afraid or shy or quiet. Ha ha ha. Daring myself to be authentic and transparent - woohoo - and share all of the cool beans that make me ME here.

And so, on the 27th day of January, I set myself free to truly love me so that I can better love others and bring Peace to this World.

The Gift

2010-10-07T06:32:00.003-04:00

Wow!!! My voice has been quiet here - stoking fires on other fronts - trying to find balance.

These last few days have been challenging. My body changes again. I KNOW I need to BE STILL and allow it to happen. However, the world does not stop because one changes. Learning my priorities - allowing ME to be - to feel - to experience - to let go.

Gentle life lessons.

I am the seventh generation. Voices in my head, in my generation, in my immediate world - - This hurts - that is painful - it is too hard. I am learning to erase that voice through LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. Redirect and raise and praise.

I find that it only hurts when I go against the flow. It is only painful when I forget to breathe. One day and baby step at a time makes hard become easier.

Yes, it is quite uncomfortable to shed a skin. Babies cry when they are teething. Growth is an uncomfortable process. Otherwise, it is uncomfortable. All growth is. Shed a skin, lose a tooth - all part of the process. I am so blessed to have gentle LLs.

The Universe prepares me for the cycle of BIRTH - this last period was quite challenging. 38 days until the egg dropped and the walls broke down. I was swollen for a week, belly protruding out and hot from my fingertips to my toes with the volcano churning within. And so vulnerable. So ungrounded in this flow of feminine ENERGY - not ready to deal with the world and my femininity - all swollen and raw as I feel now.

Thank goodness for Lucky Girl. She keeps me company and helps me stay calm. She soaks up my heat. She lays by my side and reminds me to take it slow as we nap. And then she gets me outside, sitting in the Earth, where my heat gets absorbed as I connect with the trees and we watch the squirrels.

DIO - Done

2010-10-05T21:16:00.004-04:00

Me and GingerMama just before the Show

Did it, done - what an AWEsome experience.

Accomplishments -

1. One outfit to enter the club - see picture above - no one recognized me tonight; not my girlfriends or their hubbies/boyfriends, not my parents - ha ha ha

2. One outfit for the performance - got my act together - borrowed a bodysuit from SG Lourdes which held my extra tits and buns in place so I could focus on my performance; forgot to pack my black heels, wore the slightly smaller pink wedges; and I fixed my wigs to two instead of three, so it could stay on my head - ha ha ha

3. One outfit for after the show - a cute and comfortable mini and tank top and all make-up off - woohoo~@~

The club was packed and jamming - full capacity -

here is video of my performance:

For more of the evening's experience, check out LAUGHter & Draguation.

I did it, I did it, I'm so excited - I just can't hide it - woohoo~@~

DIO - Dress Rehearsal

2010-10-01T20:53:00.004-04:00

Today was the worst

It took me almost two hours to get into Drag

I am swollen and miserable - PMSing

I feel like I have gained 10 pounds since

I started Drag It Out - well, at least 7 or 8

Our dress rehearsal was supposed to start at 2:00 p.m.

I was there - dressed and ready and sweaty (it's 97 degrees outside)

The Kings and the Queens - a line up - our music

the room looks awesome - the decorations are fabulous

There is major excitement

We finally get started at 3:15 p.m.

We are obviously not concerned for time here.

Ha ha ha.

The club is a little cold for my outfit

And I am not feeling so good today.
I am also # 18 on the program. Aahhhhhhh~@~
Quiet humming laughter - haaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa

I do not feel confident about my routine, my outfit
I am in a room full of women (and some men) who can truly dance and sing
And have been dressing up and performing for a while
What was I thinking when I signed up for this?

Finally, it is my turn.

SG Tara and SG Tabatha give me a great opening -

fabu fanfare - they even sing a Hava Nagila

all eyes are on me
for about 3 seconds... ha ha ha

My heels are too high, my dress is too long, my butt padding

is falling down and off as I move, my wigs are coming off
I am not lip syncing at the same time as my lyrics
ha ha ha

Thank Goddess no one is paying attention
these are the longest 3 minutes 10 seconds ever

I get off the stage and feel like crying

I still have a 45 minute drive home;

20 minutes to get out of my getup
and 30 minutes to wash off my makeup

I am so emotional

too many hormones going on inside
Tomorrow will be a much better day - ha ha ha

For more, CLICK HERE

DIO - I am a DRAG QUEEN

2010-09-26T23:35:00.014-04:00

Do you get that Bitch?
A DRAG QUEEN - not just an itty bitty performer
long gone are the Karaoke days

Our last class on Thursday was beyond beyond.
We had an outing - fully dressed and made-up
We Drag Queens went on a roadtrip.

We drove in pairs (safe buddy system)to Wilton Manors
to check out the place we'd be performing.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE scoping things out -
helps me feel balanced and secure when I know
the layout - the rules - the lay of the land.

We walk up the steps - we're on the stage

we experience the length and width of it all

and what the room is like

(even though it was empty and fully lit, tee hee)

We cheered each other on as we pranced

in our high heels and did our routines

We clapped and LAUGHed and woohoo'd.

Twat La Rouge & Chocolatta had a surprise

We were going out into the public

We crossed a street in Wilton Manors

- one at a time, in total drag -

we walked as if we were models on a catwalk

once we got to the center of the street;

we screamed out our names (Alter Egos),
did a little half spin and kept on walking

It was wild!!!

We stopped traffic as people honked

and a bicyclist fell off his bike watching us

More than that - it was a defining moment for me

there is something strange about screaming
without any attached emotion

it's like a disconnect with your brain and mouth

ha ha ha

it was a powerful experience -
I am Chutzpah Hussy, you bitches.

Hear me Roar: "What's Going On?"

~@~

P.S. The funny thing is that I felt sick all day.

I didn't want to go to class. I thought it would

be best to go home after Laughter Yoga and

see if I'd feel better the next day. No way, Jose.
I remembered that SHOWING UP is what it's all
about. So, I put on a smile and a shitload of makeup

and I had a fabulous evening. Woohoo~@~

For more CLICK HERE

DIO - Practice makes Perfect

2010-09-15T11:11:00.005-04:00

After 13 grueling weeks of transformation,
I am ready to perform - tee hee ~@~
at least I say I am
with a lot more bravado then I feel

I have the makeup down - more or less, if
I can keep from smudging the black all over
and I still need lots of practice on gluing my eyelashes
without getting glue all over, tee hee ~@~

Changing my face, my hair, my clothes -
entering the ALTER Ego -
the me that is not me,
that is within me,
tee hee ~@~

I keep on reMINDing myself that
this is for the GREATER GOOD
my little sacrifices - time, make-up, heels,
getting up on stage and dancing and singing
feeling the fear and doing it anyway -
to bring awareness to Drag it Out
this OMazing movement of Sister Goddesses
and this great program they have created
which benefits the charities they FUNdraise for
and helps the draguates gain so much self esteem
and new experiences.

Well, two more weeks and here we go~@~

For more CLICK HERE

DIO - Who's that GIRL?

2010-09-07T18:12:00.006-04:00

Ha ha ha.

This is me right after Laughter Yoga - only 98 degrees outside tonight. I had 25 minutes to put on my makeup. This is why no foundation and yet look at those eyes. I think I done good. Tee hee ~@~ WSM Noah was pretty impressed too.

I am so proud of my work. I have an outfit and a song. I am getting the hang of this makeup. Painting your face is slightly different than painting on paper. Just need to be a little softer and gentler and slower. More loving affirmations for your face. Tee hee ~@~

Now, I need grit. My airy fairy energy is not what I want to get out of this performance. It belittles my song, my message. I am being asked to dig deep and share intimately. SHE is ready to emerge. I am afraid to let her loose. Ha ha ha.

Wasn't aware there were parts of me that had to be reigned back in.
What happens if SHE doesn't want to recede in the limelight once she's had her moment?
Ha ha ha - stay tuned....

For more, CLICK HERE

DIO - My message to the World

2010-09-05T17:49:00.001-04:00

Classes 7 and 8

I am very conscious of music. The vocalist, the words, the message. I have an opportunity to perform - to say something - okay, lip synch something. I would like it to be powerful. I am searching all kinds of music. I even entertained Diana Ross' I'm Coming Out. And while I love this song and what she conveys, this is not my message.

Listening to my IPOD, shuffle on, letting the Universe send me a message - I hear it - "Hey, Hey, I said Hey, What's going on......." and I knew. This song was like an anthem for me when it came out in 1993. It expressed emotions I was not able to convey - a distaste for the patriarchy and the way it is interweaved in our society and my frustrations with HIStory. I also know all the words by heart. I found a disco mix which has a great beat and that I can work with. Need to get coaches' approvals - yet I am excited and giddy and pretty sure this is it.

Went to Party City to check out the options. Found a cute wig - I wonder if I can make that look with my wig. Went to Michael's and got a hot pink sharpie marker and tried to color the wig. Tee hee ~@~ It took too long and was too hot and I just stopped.

WSM Vaughn a/k/a Sigh Chosis came over. He drew a color picture of the eyes I want. He took me shopping to get the colors. He came over and patiently and gently went to work on my face. He is the first person who showed me how to apply foundation correctly and have a flawless face. This is what we came up with. I need to practice if I am going to accomplish this.

While WSM Vaughn worked and I waited in anticipation to see myself, GingerMama and Lucky Girl decided to hang out and watch us. Thank you WSM Vaughn for your hard work and patience.

I was not so gentle with myself as I showered all this makeup off. Interesting, isn't it?

Classes are getting faster paced. More information to share about tipping and arriving into a club and entourages. Reminders of who we represent - Drag It Out - and the reason and purpose for our performances - to raise awareness and funds.

For more, CLICK HERE

DIO - SHE Emerges

2010-09-04T16:55:00.002-04:00

Classes 4 and 5

Okay, time to get my look together. Being a Drag Queen means everything you wear, your hair and your makeup is exaggerated. I am a woman being a man trying to be a woman. Tee hee ~@~

I figured a wig was the way to go. Found this great place in Hallandale called Hair Talk Studio formerly known as the Wig Outlet. Kathy helped me try on all these high end wigs made of real hair. Talk about a change. So dramatic - I couldn't believe it was me. I tried on blonde hair and brown hair, short hair and long, curly and cut. It was OMazing. And so empowering. In just a few moments, I was a whole other woman. Who would have known? Ha ha ha. Showed up in a wig to class. No body recognized me. Tee hee.

We had an auction - trading of clothes, materials, ideas for outfits. Woo hoo ~@~ Snazzed up this little black number. So unlike me. I have gone makeup shopping and bought another pair of heels (we are gradually gaining height). Tee hee ~@~ However, these long hours are definitely taking a toll. Perhaps it's just this intense summer heat.

I love, love, love the music my fellow Draguate Queens have chosen. Explicit lyrics that leave no thing to the imagination and tell it like it is. I still haven't found my beat yet. Although I am getting closer.

I am OMazed by the creativity and imagination of the performances and outfits I am witnessing. How people are putting it together and making it happen. Most of the Queens have their outfit and song and make-up going on. I pray this starts to come together for me too.

For more, CLICK HERE

DIO - Exploration into a New Beyond

2010-09-02T15:32:00.010-04:00

Classes 2 and 3 -

I am here and I am not here. I am not sure I fit in.

Right after Laughter Yoga, I rush over to DIO and learn how to make eyebrows disappear and how to apply shading on a foundation flawless face. How to draw dramatic eyes and create new spaces. How to put together an outfit and ideas for recycling materials to keep the cost down. These AWEsome coaches, Twat and Chocolatta are complete LOVECats. They share everything as they try to keep this process sweet and simple and fun. Everything is provided in handouts to reinforce what we learn during class time.

Prepping us for performing - part of my Draguation - preparing our alter egos and music selections. Some of my classmates have it down pat - the makeup, the music, the personas. I have been through two songs - Whatever Lola Wants and We Are Family. While they are both cute and lovely - they are not me. Chutzpah Hussy is cute. That is not what feels like emerging. I am patient as I wait to see who the cat drags out of my psyche. Tee hee ~@

Learning to strut - holding my head up high - carrying myself tall - in heels. Ha ha ha. After I swore I would never wear them again. Yes, after seven years - I have gone shoe shopping for heels. Ha ha ha. The consequences of being in heels is seen in the lack of muscular strength in the front of my eyes. I have refocused my Pilates workouts on increasing muscle to the front. How quickly I remember why I stopped wearing them. How OMazing how long I was desensitized to the experience.

Many physical symptoms are coming up for me. This emotional overload and stretching of my comfort zone is taking a toll on my central nervous system. I am operating on less sleep after two physically exerting activities back to back. I come home full of enerchi - hot and bothered. So much to absorb and see and understand. So many emotions with no names.

For me, this is play. Dressing up, dancing and karaoke. For some, this is real life. A profession, a Joy of Being, a necessity. I am acutely aware of this during our sessions. How much harder this is for a man then a woman - or is it? (Since most of the WSMs in my draguate class pull it off with such ease and flair).

Twat and Chocolatta explain all sorts of details that never crossed my mind - walking out in drag alone not an option. Buddy system always - safety in numbers. What kind of moves a performer does on stage - and how to mix it all up. So much to absorb.

What am I doing? I still don't have all of my make-up supplies although I did get a cute Kaboodle Box to put it into. Me and makeup. It's still too hard to digest. Ha ha ha. Tee hee ~@~

For more, CLICK HERE

Things that make me LAUGH

2010-08-27T23:11:00.001-04:00

NO more taking things for granted or making an ASS-out of U-and-ME.
Thanks to the power of WIKI and the DESIRE to be CLEAR, I look everything up.

For example, truffles... we ordered Truffle Fries appetizer at dinner tonight. We tried Il Mercato Restaurant in Hallandale with Great Auntie Sylvia and Sister Goddess Marlene. Auntie Sylvia who is 93 years old gave it a 5 lights up recommendation - a place she would eat at even though it's too dark to see the menu or your plate. Tee hee~@~ Thank you SG Leslie for being a trendsetter and finding this yummy place. And thank you Chef Emily for delicious and delectable dishes (such as Cauliflower Aranchini) and a great dining experience. We will definitely be back for more.

WSM Noah and I wiki'd truffle fries to find out what made them so wonderful and different from regular fries. And what exactly is a truffle? I've seen its name in association with chocolates - I thought it was a mushroom - I know it can be very expensive (see Pushing Daisies , Episode 203). Now, with the internet, the answers are at my fingertrips. I have the power to look things up. To find facts and instantly know instead of guessing or wondering.

Black truffles

A truffle is a fungal fruiting body that develops underground. They are usually found in close association with trees. Hmm, fungus in the earth found at the base of trees. Fungus a/k/a the mushroom, of which I am not a great fan (except of course the Setas del Bosque at La Barraca or the Sauteed Shiitake Mushrooms and Leeks at Sushi Blues Cafe). The picture does speak for itself. Looks and sounds like tree turds to me. Tee hee. Safeway is selling truffles for $999.99/pound (see Georgetown Metropolitan).

That got me thinking to the most expensive coffee in the world (according to Forbes Magazine). I first heard about it in the movie, The Bucket List (great movie - 4 lights up recommendation from Auntie Sylvia). Kopiluac coffee made from the beans of coffee berries which have been eaten by the Asian Palm Civet and then defecated. The picture below is a civet. This animal poops coffee berry turds which are then processed and sold as coffee. At the whopping price of $600 per pound. Has the world gone mad?

Civet

It's funny.
Mother Nature's sense of humor - turds. A delicacy. A most valuable commodity - be it civet or tree.

Tee hee ~@~

Money, money, money, it's so funny, in a rich man's world. (Thank you ABBA)

DIO - First Class & the AfterMath

2010-08-24T17:34:00.010-04:00

Coach & Supreme Diva, Sister Goddess Twat La Rouge

I get to class late - sweating and hot from Laughter Yoga. I see Sister Goddess Lourde's familiar face in the room and Coach Chocolatta gives me a wink and a wave. I breathe in love and expand my heart.

My Sister Goddesses are watching movies and learning about different genres of Drag Queens. Clips from different movies so we can get a clue as to the spectrum of the world of Drag - Club Kid, Diva, Comedy/Camp, Sexpot. And then we watch an excerpt from Kinky Boots - which I love, love, love....

Chocolatta gives us a strut demonstration as Twat La Rouge shows us what to look for: chin up, chest out, arms behind butt, walk SLO MO and pose for the paparazzi. Twat shows us how to make our eyebrows disappear as Step 1 of our makeup assignment. So much to learn - I am so unsure and a little afraid of what I have gotten myself into.

Homework - pick my genre of drag queen, my alter ego name, my music and purchase the makeup on my list.

I get home past 11:00 p.m. and I am giddy with excitement. The next day, I get on Broward County Library's website and place holds on as many of these movies I can get my hands on. Again, divine intervention - 3 movies are instantly available. Woo hoo~@~

We spend the weekend watching Kinky Boots, Connie and Carla, and Priscilla: Queen of the Desert. I highly recommend these films. Besides great show tune songs running through my head - what I get from these movies is that Drag Queens really know how to laugh at themselves. And that's besides being trendsetters and dressing Omazing with flair and style.

As for alter egos, Noah came up with Chutzpah Hussy for me. I like it. It may suit me. We'll see. Tee hee~@~

For more, CLICK HERE

DIO Welcomes You...

2010-08-23T16:36:00.005-04:00

is what the email said.... to the exploration and creation process in the "Art of Drag".

I love exploring the Arts - the Art of Doing Nothing & the Art of Play were wonderful parts of my life education.

And yet, I was having such doubts....

1. me -a Bio Drag Queen - acting as a man playing a woman playing a man.

2. A 1o week comittment - HUGE

3. Thursday nights from 7:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. - having to run from Laughter Yoga to DIO

4. Having to share the car with Noah and dropping him off at home before I go

5. 10:30 p.m. - way past my bedtime

6. Makeup and heels - that is SO not who I today (perhaps 15 years ago)

7. Performing in a nightclub/bar - haven't been in one of those for almost 10 years

So many reasons to say NO -

And then I remember the excitement I felt when I met my coaches....

and that my parents left me their car for the summer....

and that I get to perform ....

it's almost like the Universe is propelling me in this direction,

if I choose to say YES and go with the flow

Universe, give me a sign.

I turn on the TV and land on Logo TV - just in time to see RuPaul's Drag U

And how much fun is that. And my coaches are so much nicer. Tee hee ~@~
My LITTLE PEEP is jumping for joy - it's a GO
time to break free from the comfort zone and say YES to life - LeChaim!

For more, Click HERE

DIO - Something New

2010-08-22T15:25:00.006-04:00

Back in May, Sister Goddess Lourdes invited me to come see her draguation performance. I was curious but previously committed to another appointment. And a little apprehensive. A draguation? She told me she was learning to be a drag queen - think Victor, Victoria with Julie Andrews.

She invited me again in June to come meet the teachers and find out more. She gave me a link to Drag it Out - a multicultural grassroots esteem building organization empowering people to question gender roles. DIO supports and educates the community through workshops, mentoring and FUNdraising events. Challenging gender stereotypes through entertainment while raising money for community-based causes. The more I read about this group, the more interested I was. A little out of my comfort zone, I am not one to turn down the opportunity to grow. Besides, I was so curious.

I went to meet the coaches and past draguates and other newbies like me. I met the nicest, friendliest and most open people I have had the opportunity to hang with in a long time. Sitting with my soon to be coaches and asking any question my heart desired, the little Goddess In Real Life within was jumping for joy.

DIO offers a free 10 week workshop on gender impersonation performance. For draguation, we take it into the public and perform. I would learn how to put an outfit together, how to apply makeup, how to strut, how to perform and how to release my inner Diva. Dressing up and playing with makeup and lip syncing my favorite tunes in front of a crowd. My LITTLE PEEP was ready to play.

Bring it on, DIO.

For more click HERE

Mosquito Message

2010-05-29T12:10:00.007-04:00

Ouch!!!

The burning and itching sensation

as the site where she sat and

sucked my blood starts to get

red hot and irritated.

I used to kill mosquitoes -

quite violently too.

Smacking them right out of existence -

not even wondering what gift they had for me -

since they chose to interact with me.

I didn't know that all blood biting mosquitos

are female - MAMAS in fact -

needing our blood to produce eggs.

Instead of my childhood reaction of

anger and hatred to the MOSQUITO,

I take a deep breath

and open to grace.

Sitting here outside with her buzzing around

I let go

I surrender.

No more resistance.

I speak to Madame Mosquito -

I tell her if she is to bite me

she might as well jump onto my arm

so I can get a closer look at her.

A more intimate connection with me.

The gift of the Mosquito

- her tenacity and strength -

always adapting to her environment

Never letting thing gets in the way of her progress

Changing the way I look at things -

seeing it from Mama Mosquito's eyes -

a new perspective

I am such a giant in her world -

so much blood and nutrients

beyond her wildest imagination.

I embrace this situation

and all the gifts of Mama Mosquito

I am blessed that she chose me

to learn these lessons

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

2010-05-09T19:44:00.007-04:00

WSM Noah and I purchased tickets to attend an evening with His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. I had never heard him speak before and something propelled me to be there.

I was particularly tired on Monday night - I wanted to just not go. Sister Goddess Leslie called me and reminded me it was my Joy Of Being to SHOW UP and be impeccable with my Word.

I reMEMBERed that I could JUST SHOW UP and get what I needed from the experience and leave.

With that, WSM Noah and I headed to the Westin Diplomat for an Evening of Meditation. We met up with friends, WSM Gary and Sister Godess Mina. We found good seats - an aisle in front of us and rows behind us - not too close to the front.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, a short little man in a big huge robe, came out to a room of approximately 900 people.

What was OMazing was that he led us through what was supposed to be a 10 minute meditation. We easily meditated collectively for 31 minutes. Time flew. And then we OM'd together - three times - OM, OM, OM, Shanti - the vibration in the air was so powerful. The collective ENERCHI was palpitating. I felt my tiredness wash away. I felt enveloped in love, a big cosmic hug - replenished and reenergized. All my cells were vibrating with peace and calm. This is what I had come for. I was ready to leave.

To my surprise, WSM Noah told me he liked this guy and wanted to hear more. We stayed to listen to the Q&A that Sri Sri Ravi Shankar was sharing with the crowd.

The gems of wisdom regarding relationships that I gleaned were:

When a person tells you they love you
and you respond: Do you really love me?
the burden on the person who said it
is huge. There is no way to respond
or validate one's love.

Isn't it funny how we never doubt that we are not
feeling good or depressed but we always doubt
our positive feelings.

Are you happy? I think I am happy. We doubt.

We didn't get home that night until 10:30 p.m.
(way past my bedtime) Tee hee ~@~

Feminine Power - ALANIS MORISSETTE

2010-05-09T18:54:00.009-04:00

What a fabulous Sunday~@~

I had the pleasure of listening to Alanis Morissette talk about AUTHENTIC POWER.

Sister Goddess Alanis is OMazing.

Her powerful music (I'm a Bitch, I'm A Lover, I'm a Child, I'm a Mother)

among other OMazing lyrics and tunes -

the movies and TV roles she's chosen to play -

my SHERO!!!

A lovely program offered by Feminine Power and Women on the Edge of Evolution, Alanis was interviewed candidly and she shared some wonderful gems. What resonated for me:

1. She stayed true to her own authentic voice and integrity to her music

2. It is our response-ability to hold power in the world

3. She chronicles what is happening in her life - it takes commitment and courage

4. She follows her authenticity in the absence of role models

5. Time to STEP UP and STEP OUT to be Agents of Change

6. We Western women are single largest demographic with genuine interest in consciously

evolving holding the power to influence the World - woo hoo ~@~

7. I think of myself as an ANIMAL - sensitive nervous system

8. Authentic Power - ATTUNEMENT to SELF - soothe one's soul - raw creative EnerCHI

9. Being scared, heart palpitating - SHOWING UP and just saying YES

Hearing her speak and listening to her words, I am infused with faith and energy at all that we can create together in the World as we consciously evolve and claim our Power.

Alanis says: " Im still here - committed to our funny little journey

Sweetness of sharing my story and allowing it to be a collective experience

OFFERING it for the collective impersonal and allowing it to be their own"

She reminds us to stay connected to ourselves and listen to that tiny voice and express it.

She talks about having a circle of friends - girlfriends (Sister Goddesses, tee hee ) who support each other and listen. She says

- Our collective - all these little birdies - we're all flying -

- no final destination, no top and it's not lonely there

- creating a world, a community to land in when you are being a brave soul

She shared she'll be writing a book about all her practices. Some of the practices she mentioned: sitting in silence, having sacred altars, being in nature, and inner dialogue work 0 talking with all the different parts of ourselves that are terrified until it feels soothed or acknowledged.

Parting advice for other Shaky Poodles in the Movement - bravery is that quiet voice of courage - our job is to create muscle memory of just doing it anyways.

Thank you Sister Goddess Alanis for sharing and BEing - creating a role model for ME

Power of Three

2010-04-25T08:41:00.008-04:00

I picked up my Dad for our first Dad-Daughter retreat. I wanted to spend a little one-on-one time with Dad. I bought tickets to the Symphony Stained Glass Series - a program named: The Power of Three.

Roadtrip!

We took Interstate 75 - across Alligator Alley and through the rain - until we reached just before Fort Myers. We stopped at the Outlet Mall during the drizzle to stretch our legs and do some shopping. We drove to the Marriott Sanibel Harbor Resort & Spa where we checked in for one night. What a great location with a view of the Sanibel Causeway.

Music Conductor Joseph Caulkins and the Southwest Florida Symphony Adult, Chamber and Youth Choruses sang in the beautiful setting of the Faith United Methodist Church. The program was fantastic. Three choral songs from different venues of life.

It rained that night. Infused with good music and yummy food, we slept like babies. We woke up refreshed - bodies rested, souls full and minds peaceful. Tee hee ~@~

See an Animoto Video of our trip below.

Saturday Garage Sale

2010-03-20T20:08:00.002-04:00

Heading into the danger zone

WSM Noah has very little patience with me

This illness is grating on both of us

I look normal yet have no energy

I can walk and talk yet get winded easily

We agreed to join our neighbors in a garage sale

I come back from a GingerMama walk

We've made this easy
Boxes already prepared

Table set up - we put some tunes on

We have fun with it

A beautiful painted tablecloth

We seem to have no

patience with each other

Later, I sit in the jacuzzi

Soaking up the sun

Laying in the hammock

Letting my bones stretch

Allowing my body to relax

I am stressed around him

He does not take well to change

Or is he just reflecting me to me?

He likes everything the way it is

Otherwise it stresses him out

He raises his voice

It intimidates me

It settles into my sacrum

It makes me want to SHOUT

Fabulous Friday

2010-03-19T21:35:00.008-04:00

Supposed to spend the day with Sister Goddess Leslie

Instead I am driving around, asking questions,

looking for my wallet

Trying to appease WSM Noah's fears

I have such great faith

a miracle will appear in the mail

yet, "Reality" of not having any I.D. or credit cards

makes it too hard for both of us to just BE

Cleaning the house, emptying, creating space

Resting, relaxing, reading

Letting the body heal slowly

Walking with GingerMama

I can do that again -
Woo hoo~@~

What a fabulous Friday it is!!!

Thursday

2010-03-18T23:11:00.003-04:00

5:30 a.m. GingerMama has me

walking almost two miles.

The weather is brisk

My energy is back - I speak to the stars

I pray for my well being

And the well being of the planet

Back home for my 7:00 a.m. Pilates class

Donna Madonna and I move slow

Less is more -

better alignment and form

Deeper understanding of the muscles involved

Then I nap

Letting my body BE

as it unwinds from its twisting and stretching

and returns to just BEing.

I am alive -
I am happy -
I am blessed

Wacky Wednesday

2010-03-17T21:18:00.005-04:00

Opening of the Heart Chakra

Just had an OMazing massage with

Sister Goddess Galant.

I start tight and cold and vulnerable.

She raises the vibration -

I feel her heat above my core
She lets her fingers do the walking
as they prod and poke and pinch
she digs and backtracks and widens the space

I can take a deeper breath - woo hoo
she massages my diaphragm;

she releases the tension
no more heavy exertion from breathing

The house is clean.
Jordan came and cleaned

from tip to top - tee hee
the hairs, the fleas, the skin, the oils
vacuumed and mopped right off of my floors.

My liver still hurts - when I stretch my right arm,

I feel something bumping into my ribs.

Wow.

Who knew we could feel so deeply,

Such great IN-TO-ME-SEE (intimacy) with my organs.

How cool beans is that?

My kidneys are still sore -

probably last night’s workout at Toojay’s.

Some muscle is stressed out between the breast

and the ribs just below under my arm.

The wind gets knocked out of me

when her fingers probe the area.

She grabs my arm and starts rotating it,

looking for space, trying to create expansion.

It’s dreary here today and cold.

58 degrees F in the middle of March in Florida.

The mango trees blossom and the

smell is just a wafting minimal afterthought.

Blessings in all sizes, tee hee.

Made veggie soup - warm and hearty -

broth from my last soup -

2 pieces of kabocha squash, 4 carrots,

3 pieces of rainbow chard (orange, red and yellow),

1/2 an onion.

It’s been simmering for the last few hours.

Makes this house smell toasty and warm.

Took a shower after my massage.

Like a meow, the best way to unruffle

and ground - wash it all away.

Stood under the hot water,

warming up my bones.

Washing away all the toxins off my skin.

It comes out of my pores -

a pungent slightly acrid smell

of fear being released through my armpits.

Raising my healing vibration - made a playlist

of Sister Goddess Karen Drucker’s healing songs.

These songs help me open my heart and embrace

what is going on in my body.

Her wise words remind me to

be patient with this process -

knowing what a gift this is.

“When I trust and I let go,

I know that all is well.”

Soothing balm for my soul

A mantra for my mind

No food today

Not hungry, not necessary

This is new for me

Allowing, embracing, knowing

Temptation Tuesday

2010-03-17T07:06:00.001-04:00

Showing up today for my commitments.

Up at 5:30 a.m. with GingerMama.
Cold 52 degrees on March 16, 2010
in Hollywood, Florida.
What is going on?
I have been here 13 years
This is the coldest ever.
Time for a change.

Called Sister Goddess Christina at 6:30 a.m.
Sorted and started a load of laundry.
Cleaned up after GingerMama and the Meows -
washed dishes, cleaned the litterbox,
cleaned and filled the water bowls.

Not sure where my wallet is.
On my way out the door -

pink headwarmer and white mittens

to keep the cold at bay.
Embracing what is.

SG Christina has Wee Grace's convertible

top down as we drive to the park.
We have this Omazing 2.1 mile walk around
a lake and in this wonderful tree forest.
We get to Pavilion 4 just in time to greet
a few laughter yoginis and we start.

HO HO HA HA HA
HO HO HA HA HA

This is my first circle back.
I am feeling so energized from my walk -
longest one in 2 weeks.
A little winded but excited,
I slow it all down a little.

We do finger HaHas and have parties
in our hands.

Tee hee ~@~
We stretch and shake and laugh.
It feels so good.
From the head down to to the toes,
we activate our chakras and

swirl and sway our ener-chi around.
We gibberish and Hokey-Pokey

as the sun shines and the wind blows.
What a glorious day.
The cold is easing as

the Sun warms us up.

SG Christina and I leave for Birthday Breakfast.
Our three year ritual -

bacon & buckwheat pancakes & coffee -

SG Christina's favorites.

First challenge to this new food lifestyle,
I order some eggs and potatoes
which comes with a shortstack - 3 pancakes.
Wow!
Such huge breakfasts.
My body is craving protein -
I dip a potato into the egg and eat it up.
27 bites, who’s counting?
The texture is gooey and yummy and warm.
My stomach seems to be okay.

Another piece of potato soaked in egg yolk.
So far, so good.
I manage to eat 1 egg,

5 potato pieces and 1 pancake.
My eyes wanting so much more

than my stomach can handle.

I eat slow and I stop when full -
Drink some lemon water.
Waiting for the burp to come up -
waiting for the sweet release of things
moving through my body easily.

I sop the pancake in a little maple syrup
Chew all the gooey concoction I can manage.
We take our time and eat slow.

About fifteen minutes later,
my body is showing signs of stress.
It’s hard to burp and I really have to fart -
that’s what egg does to me.
We go to another location for an Illy espresso
coffee to complete the Birthday Breakfast.
The opportunity to walk helps me pass gas.
Woo hoo!

Thank Goddess for bodily functions

that work nice and normal.
Finally, home.

GingerMama and I throw the ball around.
We stretch on the front lawn.

The sun is so yummy.

Off to the hammock I go -
a good stretch and nap does a body good.

Tonight, we meet Auntie Sylvia at Toojay’s.
She wanted Chinese buffet.
Too many factors out of my control.
Just thinking about it makes me queasy.

Toojay’s menu promises a vegetarian sandwich
with roasted vegetables and a little sauerkraut.
Plus all of Auntie Sylvia’s favorite dishes.
We meet there at 5:30 p.m.
We get a cozy little spot away
from the fans and the A/C vents.
I order the Vegetable Ciabbata Sandwich -
Auntie Sylvia gets my potato pancake
in exchange for her coleslaw.
WSM Noah takes claim to half of my sandwich.

Again, very big portions.

What is up with that?

Are we a nation that requires so much...

from one meal to another?

Great thing about Auntie Sylvia is
how slow we eat.
Dinner is a pleasure
I take little bites and chew.
I enjoy the texture of my food
and being with family.

My body is relatively happy -
sated by all these different
food tastes after a week of famine.
We are home by 8:00 p.m.
In bed and sleeping by 9:00 p.m.

Monday, Monday

2010-03-15T20:30:00.002-04:00

This was my sign from the Universe.

It gave me peace and solace.

I am tired after this weekend.

Feeling a little worn down.

The energy exchange, the learning,

being out of my comfort zone,

being in a new space

Not BEing all here

It takes a toll.

Daylight Savings Time

and a New Moon -

to add to the activity I do to me-

tee hee @

Hard time waking up this morning.

GingerMama gets me out at 6:45 a.m.

It's cool and windy this morning.

I am not prepared for a long walk.

Forgot to layer up this morning.

We are home 20 minutes later

I jump back into bed.

I sleep in until 8:00 am.

I feel the urge to check emails,

catch up with “LIFE”, to do list.

I can't .

Not my priority.

I have housework.

Maintenance & upgrade of the

temple that houses my soul & the

Other souls who depend on me.

A little stretching before I leave.

GingerMama and I - in the front yard

doing DownDogs in the grass - breathe -

and into Child's pose.

I am at Yoga One for Itsy Bitsy Yoga -

I put some peaceful vibes on.

I pray and set my intention

I create sacred space

Three mats - three Circles

I drop the laminated poses around

- Intuitively - Knowing - Feeling

I am blessed with two lovely Mama Goddesses

and their Goddesses In Real Life.

We sit in circle and laugh with our fingers

We stretch our spines and wiggle our toes

These Goddesses in Real Life - GIRLS

- both 3 years old -

know their stuff.

It's OMazing -

we meow like cats,

we moo like cows

we fly like butterflies,

we explode like volcanoes

we laugh like lions,

we hop like bunnies

I love this energy.

We dance The Yogi, Yogi

and we shake it all around

We read a story and the

GIRLS run after bubbles.

The class is over - I clean up,

I close down, I go home.

I come home exhausted.

I do not remember the drive home.

I am having pains in my chest

hard time breathing -

I am laying in bed, I am crying

WSM Noah comes to hold me

on the left side of the bed

We fall asleep in each other's arms

Elly Belly lies on top of us

I use this day to sing and

meditate and sleep

Healing, loving, resting -

BREATHING

No other thing to do

I am still having issues with food

It is wearing me out

I attempted peanut butter this morning

One teaspoonful - after I eat it,

I find my right lung banging a tune

against my ribcage

My breathing is heavy again

Backing off and drinking water

I find myself in the kitchen at odd times

A little sad at my situation

This new forgetfulness -

My wallet its first victim.

Learning new habits, releasing old ones

I keep on searching for food

When I test, I am not hungry

I walk away -

my body's lessons still

fresh on my mind

Tomorrow is a new day

~@~

Eastern Savings Time

2010-03-15T05:55:00.003-04:00

WSM Noah calls me

Honey - it's 7:00 a.m.

The clock says 6:00 a.m.

I am getting up to walk

I miss my exercise

It helps me jumpstart my day

and the pooping process

I walk in the brisk air for a half hour

I have a nice and easy bowel movement

Seems the beans agreed with me - tee hee ~@~

I am tired - I need more sleep

It is almost the New Moon

I make it to class on time - 8:45 a.m.

Today's class is more new material

And a wrap-up of our weekend

Everyone looks and feels tired

As we ease into Laughter Coaching

And changing our energies

We have a short day today

A Levity Project will end our

weekend on a swell note

A Laughter Flash Mob at

the Juno Beach Art Fest

Woo hoo ~@~

We have lunch at Sweet Tomatoes -

only 15 minutes to pick food, sit, and eat

Being conscious about my food choices

My plate is small and almost empty

A little bit of spinach greens,

some celery, cucumber, cabbage

A piece of Squaw bread

Feeling the need for a big dose of sugar

I cannot resist a little piece of chocolate

brownie with a teeny bit of frozen chocolate yogurt

Truthfully, a little hard on my digestive system

It gives me gas and burping right away

It does help me get through the rest of my afternoon

Off to the Juno Beach pier

We set ourselves up in the middle of the Art Fest

We freeze with smiles on our faces

and hands in the air

People are smiling and asking questions

The children know -

It's People Art, they explain.

The sun is warm and delicious

after being cooped indoors

for almost three days

We unfreeze and laugh all the

way back to the start

We walk away -

we wait for a sign

a LAUGHter Party - woo hoo!

We meet up with others

and start laughing -

we garner attention and

a few bystanders wanting to laugh
And then we dissipate,

like we were never there

So much fun to share love and laughter

We meet up on the Juno Beach pier
bouncing on our blue hoppity hippity balls
We say goodbye, we hug, we laugh,

9 first class students + 1 Gurudess (Guru + Goddess)

We part

WSM Noah drives me home
I am tired, worn out and empty

We stop at Chipotles for some more beans

We sit outside and chew slowly

Can't eat much

but what I am eating tastes good

I go home and GingerMama wants a walk

Changing my energy -
allowing me to ground and clear

And burp and digest and breathe

It's early - 6:30 p.m.

I unpack and shower -

change my water,

change my mood

My music is playing -

My vibration is shifting

I lay on the bed

Elly's on my belly

Her heat spreads through me

I am falling deep into sleep

Releasing and letting go

of this physical plane

As I relax and sleep

What can I eat?

2010-03-13T22:10:00.009-05:00

Happy Saturday!!!

I am not yet functioning properly

I leave the house at 8:30 a.m

I arrive to my seminar at 9:15 a.m.

Same routine - smushed banana on bread

that seems to be all I can stomach right meow

We are paired up today as we try

laughter coaching exercises

We bounce on balls and use hula hoops

The twisting, swaying motion is good for

my digestive system - it is like dancing

I am hungry again at 11:00 a.m.

I eat a piece of apple - nice and slow

When I feel stuck, I suck on some lemon

It helps me burp and keeps things moving

We have much ground to cover

So many interesting personalities

We are nine

Laughter Coaching is like a

laid back version of Laughter Yoga

softer and gentler

deeper and more intimate

easier on my gut

I am going to try to eat

more food today

I actually feel hungry

A few of us go to Chipotle Restaurant

This restaurant chain was on Oprah

for their healthy and organic ingredients

I order a vegetarian on a salad

This portion is HUGE -

is this really for one?

I eat some black beans,

some corn nuggets,

a little guacamole, a little lettuce

I am eating small amounts on my fork

It is so tasty - so textury - so chewy

Part of me wants to gulp it down

olds habits screaming out

Food! Glorious food!

Goading me on to

inhale it into my mouth

Another part of me is fearful

of what might happen

If I eat more than I can process

I take a deep breath and

push my plate away

I barely get through 1/3 of my portion

This is a huge accomplishment for me

We go back to class for another four hours

of role playing and listening and learning

and LAUGHING - peaceful humming laughter

The A/C is playing havoc with my system

I am cold - I am hot - I don't know

I drink water - I try to ground

Centering exercises -

breathing and laughing

with kindred souls here

- this helps -

We have a group meal tonight

We are going out for sushi

I feel challenged and yet,

what an opportunity for growth

I order miso soup to settle my stomach

I drink the broth and

feel the enzymes working

I order edamame &

seaweed salads for my new friends

who have never had sushi before

And a vegetable roll -

avocado, asparagus, inside out rice

I have two pieces -

Too messy and hard to chew on 50 times

I am not really hungry anymore

I am home by 9:30 p.m.

I prowl the fridge

This behavior is interesting

because I am not hungry

I muscle test to be sure -

my ego and body

do not see eye to eye

I observe myself going through

the fridge and pantry

prowling for a something -

a taste, a feeling, a warmth

I slam the fridge door and walk away

I give myself a Woo Hoo for my courage

It is late - we are jumping forward an hour

for Daylights Savings time

I must go to bed

Back to the Real World

2010-03-12T21:30:00.004-05:00

Today - I immerse myself

back into the Real World

GingerMama and Elly Belly

are both compacted

Sympathy pains for - tee hee ~@~

Dr. Darko, homeopathic vet and friend

comes to scoop the poop

and squeeze their anal glands

I wonder if that would

have worked for me?

Tee hee ~@~

Another piece of bread with smushed banana

Eating it slow - chewing 50 times

It takes me 15 minutes to eat my open faced sandwich

I pack a cooler of "safe" food for the weekend -

2 bananas, bread, parsley to settle my stomach

1 persimmon, 2 lemons to help my digestion

Strained vegetable soup - lots of it

I drive to West Palm Beach

It is a cathartic drive

Through rain and fog and wind -

Leaving the past behind

Going into the Unknown

Charting new territory

I arrive at the training location

My clothes are loose and falling off

I meet new colleagues in the

Laughter Coaching world

The room is a hotel conference room

Full of vents and an A/C system that goes

off every 5 minutes - what's a GIRL to do?

What an OMazing challenge.

Laughing is a little too much for my

central nervous system

I keep repeating my new mantra:

Peaceful humming laughter

I must remind myself

Baby steps to recuperation

I am trying to be myself

I am trying to focus and listen

I just want to sink into my body and BE

Our seminar goes on until 6:00 p.m.

I head back to Deerfield Beach to settle down

The weather is windy and cold -

dropping into the 50's again

I am tired - meeting new people

and absorbing energy

I force myself to eat a little veggie soup

I am needing sleep, sleep, sleep

I put on my IPOD - Karen Drucker's
sweet songs soothe my soul
I sing along about
healed and whole and healthy
I sleep ..... zzzzzzz

Day 8 - What we do on the right, we also do on the left

2010-03-11T22:34:00.011-05:00

It's one of the things I say

in our Laughter Yoga Circle.

Whatever we do on side,

we must do on the other.

Woke up this morning feeling pretty good.

Not so swollen or miserable.

72 degrees. - GingerMama and I hit the road

We walk in the balmy weather

A little foggy this morning

We sniff the Mango trees

I have the desire to poop

Woo hoo ~@~

A little turd comes out

with almost no effort

My stomach flattens out

- just like that

I'd like to say that this is

the end to my sordid ordeal

However, it is just the beginning

I still feel my lungs bang on

my ribcage when I stretch my right arm

No thing feels normal

from my sternum to my anus

Everything is distended,

grossly exaggerated -

Except I am now empty

What to do with food?

It's like I've been empty

Can I just stay that way?

I've promised Sister Goddess Galant

that I will nourish myself today

Some sustenance

I muscle test as I go through the kitchen

My first reaction is to juice

Some light watery greens

Cucumber, apple, spinach, parsley

Very green and sweet

My organs are palpitating

Anticipating a lot of work

I pour myself 1/4 cup juice

And water it down 3/4 cup water

This seems easier on my body

Pilates class with Donna Madonna -
pulled out the reformer to protect my back.
We slow the pace way down so
I can listen to how my body i feeling -
what it can handle.

I am not sure where my abs are anymore

Ever so slowly, Donna Madonna walks me through

mermaids and leg stretches as we open my sacrum
so I can breathe fully again.

Laying down after my workout
Elly Belly comes to play on my belly
kneading the new space created from stretching
I feel the expansiveness that has been missing.

Thank you for this blessing of slowing down.
I am still a little feverish.
However, I am feeling hungry.
My body leads me to banana.
I take three slices of banana and mush it up
on top of this OMazing German bread
(my soul brought me this manna)
from the GermanHaus

Seven Grain Power
INGREDIENTS: STONE GROUND WHOLE GRAIN WHEAT, RYE,
OATS, BARLEY, SPELT, MILLET & BROWN RICE, WHEAT FLOUR,
FILTERED WATER, FLAX, PUMPKIN, SESAME & SUNFLOWER
SEEDS, BUTTERMILK, SEA SALT, NATURAL RYE SOUR, SPICES,
VINEGAR, YEAST

I am eating very small bits at a time
focusing on the 50 chews
(which is so hard, I tend to lose count
somewhere in the middle of a swallow) -
ouch, that one was too fast -
not possible to type and chew at the same time -

I feel as it goes down my esophagus,
I feel where it cross the liver,
going past the gallbladder and
that is where it slows down
right at the opening of the stomach -
there was a lot of undigested bread and banana.
Need to slow down even more.

Drank some water with lemon.
Lemon seems to help with the burping.
It cleanses and opens as it goes down.

Standing to see if I can burp more.
I burp, I drink a little more water.
I sit down and I take an even smaller bite.
I masticate.
I feel the millet on my tongue,
a little piece of sunﬂower seed between my teeth.
Itʼs like a sensation explosion in my mouth.
I chew.

Nap, jacuzzi, massage -
that is what I need to restore myself today

Sister Goddess Galant comes at 4:00 p.m.

We talk about how I am feeling

She tests my energy and raises my Chi

She touches, she tugs, she connects me to my core

She helps me find my abdomen muscles again

Woo hoo ~@~

I sink into her fingers

I let go of the world and enter my body

Swirls of sensations - hot, cold, deep, low

I sleep - I allow my body to do what it does best

Day 7 - half empty

2010-03-10T22:18:00.010-05:00

Day 7

Woke up this morning -

slightly warmer - a cool 60 degrees

Can't get out of bed

Body needs to just be horizontal and warm

Get up to pee - all the aloe vera

slogging around my system

My kidneys are working just fine

It's the butthole that's not cooperating

I am following Sister Goddess Galant's advice

grateful my bladder works so well

LakeWood prune juice - so yummy, so rich

so many memories of childhood

Lots of muscle memory waking up

After no food for six days, the liquid is syrupy and sweet

makes me want to gag

I take little sips and big gulps of water

I'm waiting for a burp to relieve the pressure

And when it comes - what OMazing relief

All this weight in my chest dissipating

I can't even imagine eating until

I have some release

Too much pressure within

My body temperature is rising

my face is red and hot

My hands are cold

My belly is dense and heavy

blossoming out into a ball

I try some early morning stretching -

front bends, cat, cow

Hard time feeling my abdomen -

everything inside feels like mush

Supposed to take Mom and Dad to the Miami airport

Not sure I can handle being in the car all that time

Back to bed until the jacuzzi warms up

Signed up for a Laughter Coaching seminar

Need to show up for this weekend event

Not sure I have the strength to follow through

Trusting and surrendering to the Universe

Being patient with myself and this process

Critical self care until I see a sign otherwise

Loving how white and wonderful

my teeth and gums feel

How thin my face is feeling

How defined my features are becoming

Drinking hot parsley water

Sister Goddess Galant tells me I need

some vegetable brothy puree in me.

So I will have something to expel.

And get some nutrients too.

I just happen to have a little brothy puree

from Wednesday night's dinner -

the night where I finally paid attention to the signs -

WSM Noah warms me up a mug

So tasty and yummy

Again - a little sip - some water - wait for the burp

Feel the liquid attempting to travel down

Feeling it in my organs as it makes its slow descent

Can only handle under a half cup

Body is not quite ready for such intake

Got to take it slow

I rest in the hammock

It's the only place I can stretch

when I am hypersensitive and hyperflexible

Parachute material helps me expand and

stretch while gently holding me in her silky embrace

I feel crampy and unhappy

And then I feel an urge to push

Right to the bathroom I go

Both feet down on the ground

I relax on the toilet

I focus on my breathing

and a little bit of grunting

It feels like I am passing a stone

This is not a pleasant feeling at all

And then a little plop into the toilet water

I immediately feel a decompression on the

right side of my stomach

Like a weight had been lifted

The whole side flattened

where once had been a bump - woo hoo ~@~

I feel like I have dropped 10 years of stress

There is still swelling on my left side

Not all has left my system

My parents are freaking

You have to go to the hospital

Or take a suppository and go for some tests

We agree that if my status is the same

upon their return, we will try their way

Western medicine way

We laugh at the irony of the situation

Me -

being full of shit -

tee hee ~@~

They kiss me and wrap me

in family love and healing

I go lay down - not necessarily sleep -

although that form seems to work best for pain

My stomach gets to gurgle in peace

While Elly Belly does her shiatsu magic

Wow ~@~

Life is looking so much better!

Day 6 - What Food?

2010-03-09T12:02:00.006-05:00

Day 6 -

It's cold again - 55 degrees -

I'm up at 5:30 a.m.

GingerMama and I

trying to catch peeks of the Moon

We walk for 25 minutes

in silent oblivion

one step in front of the other

feeling deep in my bod

as GingerMama picks up my vibe

SG Galant warned me that I might feel mean and crabby -
the toxins inside might affect me and my behavior
I already feel irritated and unhappy
I slept about 4 hours last night -
Karen Drucker's healing words

playing in the background,
soothing my soul.

I am ready to drink more prune juice,

anything for a release.
I never knew constipation felt like this
I reMIND myself that I

never want to feel this way again.

Choices, choices, choices.

We get back and I stretch

Over the roller, I guide it

below my shoulderblades

and down my back -

slowly and gently,

as I move "stuff" out

Easing the toxins around and

over the stuck places

My stomach is bulgeing - tight and compact,

a little mound of not happy

I try to poop

My anus muscle is

not ready to let go

I give myself another shot of prune juice

I am acquiring the taste of this sweet nectar

My body gurgles a little and releases a burp

Keeping my nervous system calm

and trying to keep myself warm

What a dilemma

I wrap myself up in blankets

And I head to my hammock

Sister Goddess Galant will be here at noon

I need her healing hands

I have an internal earthquake going on

I'm hot,

I'm cold

I'm breathing shallow again

SG Galant quickly assesses me and

tells me I need to start eating

I tell her : NO POOP = NO FOOD

She yells at me there

might be nothing to POOP

She has a point

That is not how I feel

There might not be much

but there is definitely

something ugly and toxic

wanting to come out

We set up a yoga mat in my sacred space

We do restorative poses - deep bends,

her hands holding me in proper alignment

as my chest opens an inch and I breathe better

As my spine lengthens and the organs within

have space for expansion

All sorts of cracking and popping sounds

emanate from my body

After about six beautifully aligned poses

she helps me breathe deep into my ribs
I feel my breath go deep into my sacrum
An opening, a widening in my chest cavity

She lays me down and we begin again

energy testing, asking and questioning

putting her hands on my belly and

pulling, pushing, probing - creating space

allowing the flow of energy to resume

She leaves and I sleep for four hours

A deep slumber that leaves me tired

I am burning from within

Food, what food?

Who's got time for food

when chaos reigns supreme

In my body,

this temple that houses my soul.

Day 5 - Food - what is it Good for?

2010-03-08T11:54:00.005-05:00

Monday, Monday so good to me

I happen to have NO THING on the calendar

Me and GingerMama and the Meows

Me in bed - hard to breathe - so full up

Stomach is tight again, ribs hurt

So hard to focus - so full of heat

No desire for food of any sort

Just my bed

Sister Goddess Galant advised that we have to get tough

Prune Juice first thing in the morning.

Forced myself to drink

1/2 a glass of prune juice watered down

Followed by a short walk with GingerMama
GingerMama seems to sense what is going on
She walks slow motion with me as I

do the slowest 20 minutes of my life -
three blocks around the neighborhood,

one foot in front of the other.

And what's up with the weather?

54 degrees with winds blowing

WHERE DO I LIVE NOW?

AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?

Can't go back to bed

feeling the need to purge

if it won't come out of me,

it's leaving my house

I find myself cleaning and clearing with ease

What was I not seeing before?

My period which I thought was over is back

WITH A VENGEANCE -

You know, when it rains, it pours

My efforts yesterday come with a price

Yesterday's speech and all the wonderful people I met -

my Chi feels even lower today.

Today is a day of rest after

absorbing people and emotions and feelings.

Under the comforters I go

for the next few hours

WSM Noah has the jacuzzi on

If the sun would just come out to play

At 2:00 p.m., we hit 75 degrees, it feels like 70

The house is still at 62 degree

The blessing is that I have

no where to be, no thing to do

Today I immerse myself in water

- jacuzzi, shower -

as I change the water within.

I fart - I am so elated that I almost swoon -
or perhaps it's the release of toxins

that has me lightheaded

Farting and burping - two bodily

functions that I took for granted.

I am so thankful for them now.
Even gurgling in my intestines

is a welcome and happy event.

I mean, here I am, DAY 5 - no food

Pretty OMazing for me
Just to BE and let my body BE

Breathing - LISTENing

to what my body is telling me

Sending love to my organs -

my liver, my kidney, my gallbladder,

my lungs, my esophagus, my intestines,

my colon, my sacrum -

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

ERASE, ERASE, ERASE

Day 4 - Food and Moi

2010-03-07T22:18:00.002-05:00

The most important and intimate relationship I've ever had

FOOD

It started at my mother's nipple.

As far as I know, it is only HERE and NOW

that I am consciously exploring this IN-to-me relationship

I was always afraid to fast.

The Day of Atonement, and a forced fast

was always a miserable experience for me.

Day 4 without food (by choice) and I am not even hungry

I haven't been able to poop either.

And I am full of aloe vera juice -

I drank 36 ounces last night

hoping to jump start my system -

Drinking tea and hot water with parsley

My stomach is full and tight - a lump sitting on top

of my already stressed pelvis and sacrum.

Teeth are so yummy -

feels good to play with my tongue

on such smooth surfaces

I am feverish. Toxins floating inside.

I feel the red hot heat in my blood,

pulsing in my veins.

My ener-CHI is a little low

I am presenting a Key Note on Healing with Humor.

My computer is acting up

It deletes my speech and keeps my heartrate up

as I improvise and go to Plan B

I shower. I sing. I set my intentions.

Sharing my JOY.

Helping to HEAL.

Being BREATHing me.

I put on my purple bra -

surround myself with loving healing energy.

I place jade and rose quartz by my heart.

I am so deep into my body's sensations as

I get out of the car

I focus on breathing and walking

through the parking lot and into the hotel.

I am here and yet, in my own world of body -

every step, every breath, every word

taking a toll on my nervous system

I find a table - I meet people - I smell food.

I am not hungry. I am not nervous. I just AM.

Feeling, Allowing, Embracing the moment.

I drink my aloe juice spiked water. I breathe.

I allow myself to feel within my environment.

When it becomes too much, I get up and walk

I shake it all about. I breathe. I smile.

When it is my turn, I breathe again.

I head for the front. I pray to be an

instrument for peace and love just because.

I speak. We laugh. We feel.

A fabulous event. I am parched.

I am hot. I am cold.

I go home, I lay down.

Sister Goddess Galant is coming tomorrow.

Woo hoo ~@~

Day 3 - Re-examining things

2010-03-06T22:06:00.003-05:00

Day 3 - no food

My tummy hurts.

No poop yet.

A little more aloe vera juice to help things glide.

I've had to ask for help so I can show up

WSM Noah drives me to South Beach

I'm hanging out with Sister Goddess Christina

Sister Goddess Christina is a music therapist, Laughter Yoga leader

and all around fun loving yogini.

She has a lovely apartment overlooking the ocean

She makes me green tea while I sit in a chair, allowing the sun to warm me

We talk about how to make our afternoon flow.

I sit there feeling my cramps and just breathing

Breathing, breathing, breathing
No farting, no belching,

feeling very stagnant and stale

Yet I am bleeding,

falling apart, feeling very sensitive

We drive around in Wee Grace with the top down

absorbing every little bit of sunshine

I get to read and hang in the sun

while SG Christina stops in at the acupuncturist.

Then we go to Five Sisters

What an OMazing space

To show up for our Laughter Yoga Playdate

SG Christina and I collaborated in creating

a Laughter Yoga-Music Therapy program

laughing, dancing, stretching, meditating and more laughing

I am nervous about showing up like this -

crampy, uncomfortable and in pain

I have a very hard time laughing - my core hurts

my breath is tight in my chest

Two wonderful women show up in our space

We hug, we stretch, we sway, we laugh

We heal each other with our words and breath
Just the right amount for what my energy can handle

I am feeling so full and alien in my body

I am sweating - it is stinky and kind of gross

I am cold, I am hot, I don't know what is going on with me

we'll try again tomorrow

No desire for food - get home and WSM Noah is cooking

I can smell it and absorb the aroma

and yet I have no desire for it

I have been putting off reading Julie and Julia

Now seems to be the right time to read it

Day 2 - Food and me

2010-03-05T19:01:00.000-05:00

Had a very hard time getting up today.

I am definitely clogged up.

It does not help that this house is so cold.

Took a 5 minute walk with GingerMama

and I was exhausted.

So hard to breathe.

Everything in my chest is locked up.

Everything down below is clogged up too.
I am also sore from yesterday's yoga and Pilates.

I have no appetite today.

GingerMama's food makes me nauxious

There is swelling in my tummy.

It feels so tight inside of me.

Curandera Sister Goddess Galant is coming today at one.

If anyone can bring me relief she can.

She already has me doing homework:

legs up on the wall while my back is straight.
Drinking aloe vera juice to see if we can get things moving.

I create space in the Goddess Studio

I lay a mattress down, pile on the blankets,

bring in a space heater, light some candles

Put some Karen Drucker healing music

I have a busy weekend -

all these Laughter Yoga commitments

I need to show up

I need my body to cooperate

and get me through the day

Curandera SG Galant sits down next to me

She starts doing her thing -

diagnosing what is going on,

where my energy is stuck,

where her hands can do their magic.

SG Galant has a deep knowledge of the anatomy and physiology

She is a reiki practicioner, a thai massage afficionado, a yogini,

a Pilates instructor and a BioOrgonomist.

Her hands fluttering above me increase my heat

She reaches deep into my belly and starts to knead & massage

She twists and grabs and pushes and pulls

She sinks deep and then she lets go

She is amazed - I have three knots - my intestines are all

scrunched up in the center with knots on either side

tightness in my hands, hamstrings,

sacrum, below my shoulder blades

She touches, she stretches, she opens, she flexes

I feel the toxins within shake loose

The tension is releasing -

my abdomen has more space

I can breathe again

She reminds me that it took

months to get myself in this predicament,

it will take time to heal

She confirms - reflexology in my hands and feet

show that my lungs and liver are in distress

She tells me that my period is attempting to flow

She felt many palpitations in my pelvic area

making everything more sensitive

I feel wrung out -

the blessing is that I am breathing again!

I get into the jacuzzi -

the hot water helps me release the tension in my muscles

I go to the bathroom - no poop

My period has started.

Until stuff comes out, I've decided I can't put anything in my body

I sleep for the next three hours

No walking, no eating, no stress

I have no desire for food - not cooking or eating or even smelling it

My teeth feel so clean .. what a great benefit.

Day 1 - a new relationship

2010-03-04T21:20:00.007-05:00

Day 1 -

I am having to redefine my relationship with food.

I woke up feeling full - again.

Had a little poop this morning.

Thought everything was fine.

I juiced this morning -

apple, celery, swiss chard, ginger, cucumber, carrots.

Beets are done - I may have overused the beets.

I feel sick just thinking of beets.
I have two sips and I am so full. What's up?

Back from my walk, I stretch out my legs

before my Pilates class with Donna Madonna.
My muscles are so strong.

And yet, my belly feels so blown up.

My legs are strong. I have good form.

Maybe I am pregnant.

Or some wicked period this way comes.

It's cold outside again.

The weather is behaving as strange as I feel inside.

Sister Goddess Connie picks me up

for our Thursday morning yoga class.

I rise to the challenge and do my best.

I notice that I have some difficulty breathing.

My body feels stretched yet in distress.

I am so tired.

I come home. I plop into bed.
I am trying to nap - let my body rest and recuperate

I feel like I can't breathe.

Everything below my sternum feels tight.

I am congested and feel miserable in my own body.

I take a deep breath and visualize white light around me.

I get real quiet as I have a conversation with my internal organs.

I test - asking questions as I go along.

My stomach is blocked.

My liver has swollen and is impinging on the space that

allows food to enter my stomach.

My lungs are not happy - they too, are working

overtime to help me breathe.

My gallbladder and spleen have joined the

show to see what chaos they too can achieve.

I am feeling overwhelmed and scared.

Everything is so heavy in my chest.

I put my hand over my heart and pray.

What will bring the greatest good in this situation?

I immediately see an image of Sister Goddess Galant.

SG Galant is an OMazing Curandera/Healer.

She has studied BioOrgonomy, Pilates, Yoga,

Thai Massage as well as being an Artist and writing books.

She knows anatomy and physiology and has practiced many

modalities in achieving health and wellbeing for her clients.

SOS - my Sister Goddess Galant.

She tells me to drink hot water with parsley or lemon.

She advises that green tea might help to detox.

She admonishes me for this morning's activity.

She tells me that my nervous system is under immense stress

and that I need to take a break from any more physical activity.

We make an appointment for tomorrow.

I get back into bed.

Sleeping - giving my internal organs a break.

Elly Belly gets on my chest and relieves a little pressure.

I belch. Woo hoo~@~ so grateful that something is moving.

Elly Belly moves to my feet - drawing the pain down my body.

I spend the day reading and sleeping,

alternating from the bed to the hammock to the couch.

Four yummy books from the library today. Absorbed and swallowed.

I immerse myself in someone else's drama while mine unfolds.

That's it - a determined decision - NO EATING

My body gets a break.

I get to empty my sacred vessel.

It's really hard to breathe.

No thing feels good today.

The first time I noticed

2010-03-03T21:09:00.007-05:00

Silly me.

I so wanted to believe I was pregnant.

The signs were so confusing.

My stomach getting rounder,

eating so little and getting so full -

I even thought my breasts were growing.

All possible symptoms of my period

except everything is a little tight in my chest.

Like nothing seems to fit right inside my body.

I am so tired. I can't seem to keep up.

Everything is a little harder to do.

So I kept going like nothing was happening.

I made some yummy vegetable soup.

Carrots, onion, sancocho mix, parsnips, red chard leaves.

Mom came from Deerfield Beach and we hung out - a little retail therapy.

Ikea's and Kohl's and Bed Bath Beyond.

Took a nap - found it even more difficult to breathe.

Sister Goddess Leslie decided to come over later that evening.

We sat down for dinner, WSM Noah made some roasted broccolini and French bread rolls to accompany the vegetable soup.

I had three pieces of broccolini and felt so full.

My chest is tight. My organs seem to be pressing against my ribcage.

Something is just not right.

Time to slow down and pay attention.

Time to Dance

2010-02-25T17:05:00.004-05:00

Thank you to Sister Goddess Jewel for writing these words of wisdom and to Sister Goddess Cecilia for BEing a LOVECAT and creating a ripple . . . .

We Have Come to be Danced

We have come to be danced

Not the pretty dance

Not the pretty pretty, pick me, pick me dance

But the claw our way back into the belly

Of the sacred, sensual animal dance

The unhinged, unplugged, cat out of its box dance

The holding the precious moment in the palms

Of our hands and feet dance.

We have come to be danced

Not the jiffy booby, shake your booty for him dance

But the wring the sadness from our skin dance

The blow the chip off our shoulder dance.

The slap he apology from our posture dance.

We have come to be danced

Not the monkey see, monkey do dance

One two dance like you

One two three, dance like me dance

But the grave robber, tomb stalker

Tearing scabs and scars open dance

The rub the rhythm raw against our soul dance.

We have come to be danced

Not the nice, invisible, self-conscious shuffle

But the matted hair flying, voodoo mama

Shaman shaking ancient bones dance

The strip us from our casings, return our wings

Sharpen our claws and tongues dance

The shed dead cells and slip into

The luminous skin of love dance.

We have come to be danced

Not the hold our breath and wallow in the shallow end of the floor dance

But the meeting of the trinity: the body, breath and beat dance

The shout hallelujah from the top of our thighs dance

The mother may I?

Yes you may take ten giant leaps dance

The olly olly oxen free free free dance

The everyone can come to our heaven dance.

We have come to be danced

Where the kingdoms collide

In the cathedral of flesh

To burn back into the light

To unravel, to play, to fly, to pray

To root in skin sanctuary

We have come to be danced! We have come."

~ by Jewel Mathieson

These words gave me goosebumps. They stirred up my passions and got my juices flowing.

"to root in skin sanctuary" - Wow!!! What OMazing imagery and spectrum of feelings.

CAT OUT OF ITS BOX dance - that's so totally me - thank you for languaging those feelings that had no names. Thank you for waking me up and helping me feel and reclaim all part of ME.

Priorities

2010-02-12T17:55:00.001-05:00

Sometimes it's the simplest things in life that have me stumped.
PRIORITIES is one I have been working on for a while now.
Learning how to balance my family, my JOB (joy of being) and myself.
Finding that space where all can co-exist
and still leave me space to breathe and grow.

Wanting so much to participate and add new things to my life.
So many fabulous activities and opportunities and healing modalities available.

Knowing I must create SPACE for this to happen
by letting go of what no longer serves me.
Breathing - deep breath as I clear my mind and surrender.
Letting the answers come to me.
Changing my habits and creating the sacred space to manifest a new reality.

Focusing on what is truly important for me,
what aligns to my values and vision of who I am.
Breathing into the change, the space,

the place that I can feel is coming.

Stepping back and within so I can emerge whole and
healthy so as to better give and receive.

Like a pendulum - going from one extreme to the other -
anticipating the slowing down and finding my center.

Animoto.com

2010-01-04T20:27:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year - 2010

2009-12-31T16:25:00.002-05:00

Celebrate what's right with the world - Dewitt Jones @ Yahoo! Video

Feelings & Flow

2009-10-26T07:24:00.000-04:00

(Begun writing on 7/2/09)

This flow has brought up a lot of FEELINGS for me.

As I expel what my body no longer needs, I feel the need to let go and release other things - people, places, memories. I'm not always aware that I am holding on until somethings sets me off and the feelings come up.

In the past, I may have acted or more appropriately REACTED to these feelings. Now, I let them come up and play with them. I might express them in ART or go into my body - a walk, a bike ride, on the mat with YOGA - in order to let it go through.

Last night I was blessed to have Goddess Annette here. We sang, we meditated, we prayed, we played, we created. We pulled out images and words that called us. We painted canvases - we chose emotional landscapes. We called the Goddesses to dance among us and INspire our creativity.

(Continued on 10/19/09)

I read the wisdom of these words as I flow again. The temperatures dropped drastically Sunday morning. From almost 90 degrees on Saturday afternoon to 54 degrees by Sunday morning at 5:30 a.m. We knew it was coming. The forecasters had been preparing us all week. However, the chill in the bones from a windlashing is always a refreshing reminder. Creeps right into the cell memory and opens the floodgates.

I start to flow and reMEMBER to stay loose - muscles relaxed and warm. Itsy Bitsy Yoga with the most beautiful toddlers and Mama Goddesses and my Mom. Then Mom and I went home to paint and nap and eat yummy raw food. Then she took a nap with me on the bed with Zeko. He purred me to sleep as he rubbed my belly.

It is such perfect timing. I am flowing with the Moon - the New Moon, that is. I am emptying and releasing and letting go to create a sacred container to fill again.

I am staying loose, muscles relaxed - and I flow.

Full Moon 09/09

2009-10-25T20:31:00.010-04:00

Full moon on September 3, 2009 WSM Noah and I were on the beach - Chinky Beach in Tel Aviv, Israel. It was our last evening here - a Friday night. We went for a sunset swim, a dip into the Mediterranean Sea. We played in her soft waves and swayed within her current.

As the sun disappeared and the moon rose we heard the drums. Beating, rapping, mesmerizing - a melody from the past, seeping into my bones and making me move. We dried off and walked towards the end of the beach where the circle had been formed - hearts being called by the ancient rhythms beating in our souls. Tarboukas and cymbals and drums, oh my!!

I feel it - the throbbing, the banging, the bass - what a sound!!! My body feels it - I can't control it - I just want to move and dance and BE. As did the other souls who felt the music and just let themselves be.

Thank you for this last gift goodbye on our last night in the Aaretz.

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Goddess Diana

Goddess Gems

2009-10-01T07:22:00.018-04:00

As a Curandera, when I leave my Sacred Sanctuary and immerse myself in the outside world, I put on a love shield.

I consciously choose how I express myself in the world. My body - a blank canvas to cover and caress with beautiful colors and prints and fabrics. I love labels that touch my skin that say BE Present. I love images of the Lotus on my backside.

My secret magic weapon - Goddess Gems. For me, these Goddess Gems are amulets and talismans of love. Mine are created by Goddess Bliss. In her wisdom and with her hands, she creates powerful pieces of eye candy oozing with power and love. My GG sits between the heart and throat chakra - it warms me up as I reMEMBER that I am not alone and all is well. It shields me from lower energies and strengthens me to give more and be more.

Goddess Bliss has been providing me with her divine creations for the last five years. I call and tell her what is going on in my life and the colors that speak to me. I love how she listens and gives me space to hear myself. She allows herself to be guided by her intuition and creativity in the process of making GG. She fills her heart with love as she goes through boxes of materials looking for just the right combination of gems, clasps, beads and string.

Soon thereafter, a yummy package arrives. Full of glitter and twinkle and gemstones - each piece she creates for me is imbued with her healing and loving energy. Simple and yet powerful, the energy is palpable. I am blessed to have one around my neck as I face the world. My Goddess allow me to take in emotions and energies and let them go through and out of me. I help others cleanse and heal as I take on and release their energies.

She sent me three new ones to help me when I returned home from Europe and Israel. She created three new Goddess Gems for me - each unique and serving their own purpose. Perfectly timed, they were waiting here for me to help me deal with the difficult transition home. And how these gentle companions have helped me deal and heal through Great Auntie Sylvia in a coma, funerals, injuries and hurt feelings.

Thank you My Curandera Goddess Sister for trusting that voice within and allowing yourself to serve and heal through your hands and your art and these Goddess Gems. May the love you send out come back to you tenfold.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.

Wishing you,

Peace & Love, Just Because,

Goddess Diana

P.S. I have sung her praises before. Check it out at It's Here and Seeds of Gratitude

GMama

2009-09-16T11:58:00.001-04:00

Picture 064
Originally uploaded by Goddess Diana

I love these eyes, this soul, this Doggess Goddess who chose to come live in my SACRED SPACE.

She brings so many gifts to my life. Calm and patient, she loves to nap and teach me about healing my body - through Sleep, Rest, Massage and PLAY.

Brought me into my body with all our walking - she gently introduces me into our WORLD - the trees and clouds and flowers and VAST amounts of SKY. Sigh.

She warms me up as I hold her - she sniffs me and gives me a half lick - saliva the most powerful weapon we have - and flicks it off her ear. Gone - she tells me as she shakes her ears and readjusts herself to be more relaxed. Pain all gone.

She teaches me CONSISTENCY. We always have to walk - rain or shine - from dawn to midnight (thank Goddess for WSM Noah and his late night shift).

She showed me QUALITY. A nap or resting - alert and relaxed - a meditation - short and sweet and simple.

We are exploring and delving into PLAY - active and strong - releasing pent up energy and relaxing into creative spaces.

Lately, when I return from the hospital - she gets me out of my head and into my body. Out of my clothes and into the pool, she coaches my laps. I swim and shake it all off - a natural instinct I reMEMBERed- the DOG - DOGGESS residing within me.

GingerMama, my Mama Curandera - thank you for your teachings and tolerance of my slow yet heartfelt steps. I am reMEMBERing my Soul, GMama - my song.

ISRAEL - the Aaretz

2009-08-30T07:45:00.001-04:00

Life is so great. This is the view from my patio every evening.

We arrived in Israel after a very long day of traveling. The heat - a beautiful 90 degrees with a nice wind blowing was awesome after the five hour plane ride from Paris. Back in the city where I was born, Tel Aviv.

Instead of pushing or making things happen, an apartment fell right into our lap. A friend of a friend's had a beautiful penthouse apartment in Tel Aviv - right in the heart of the city - two blocks from Shook HaKarmel and seven blocks from the ocean. A three bedroom apartment with three bathrooms. A very lit up apartment with lovely tile floors and a big balcony with a view to the sea. And our friend lent us a juicer.

We are having an amazing time here. We get up in the morning and go to the beach - float on the clear water of YAM HATICHON (the Mediterranean Sea). We head back to the apartment and stop in the Shook (the Market) and listen to the vendors hawk their tomatoes and figs and pomegranates as the fish vendors argue with the meat vendors. My Hebrew comes back to me as I listen to the accents and intonations, remember words long forgotten and learn new ones.

Here we have found all the ingredients to juice and stay on track with our raw lifestyle. Unfortunately, the breads and cheeses in this country are delicious. The smells and aromas of food baked or made with love is hard to resist. The creams and yogurts and seeds and nuts. Oh my!!!

Another blessing - there is so much walking over here. Almost impossible to find parking in this crazy city. All these one way streets. We are definitely getting a lot of exercise trying to find our way around.

Noah's father is with us - a double blessing - to have done this trip once with my Dad and now Noah's Dad - I like it!!! What a blessing to be with your parents once you have grown up. To experience each other through the lens of time and life.

We have a family reunion today - going to the Kfar to meet cousins we saw in Vienna for Tanta Berti's birthday. And the third and fourth generation of cousins (my age and their kids). It's like a wedding - time to greet people into our family.

I brought my yoga mat and I sit on the patio - stretching and breathing - on top of most of the buildings in the area - vibrating to my tunes and sending love out into the world.

So many things to do, people to see, places to be, tee hee!!! And yet, I sit here and BREATHE and take it all in for another moment. I center myself and take another breath.

Bring it on!!

English LOVE CATS

2009-08-28T06:19:00.002-04:00

Martin, Andy & Anthony - English LOVECats

On our way back to Paris - we took the lovely high speed Thalys train - we met the most amazing LOVE Cats. Three WILD SUCCULENT MEN who happened to share the cabin with us for most of our ride.

They were the last ones to board in Amsterdam. As I saw them through the glass doors, I thought they were brothers. Two young men were helping guide another young man in a motorized wheelchair. They were in the baggage storage area of the train - between two cars - suspended between worlds. Trying to park the wheelchair so it did not block the doors and the passageway. Getting used to the moving train which had just departed. Morgan walked in our compartment asking if he could have our seats - Thalys' configuration in this car was a four seater and a two seater across the aisle. We were up and out of our seats immediately.

Morgan went back to help Andy with the bags. They worked together to figure out what to do with the wheelchair and then extricated Anthony from it. I watched as Morgan picked up Anthony - put his arms around his waist and carried him in and onto the chair. Andy came in with their bags. My heart just melted as Andy pulled out a banana and fed the other half to Anthony. Then he pulled out some water and a straw and held it for Anthony to drink.

My shyness prevented me from speaking. However, I couldn't stop watching them. Truth - the child within me stared with that penetrating focus I have. Couldn't help it. The aura from these men was so beautiful.

Anthony was so intriguing. His body was doing so many things at once. I was mesmerized. I watched Anthony's body spasm as he expressed himself - he spoke slowly and his words were distorted to me. Yet Andy understood everything and laughed at what Anthony was saying. And then Anthony smiled. It lit up our cabin. He looked my way. I got over my drama and said Hi. A few minutes later we were engaged in conversation.

Morgan and Andy and Anthony are school buddies. They travel together often. Anthony has cerebral palsy. From what I witnessed, it affects his muscles and joints and his speech. I had never met anyone with cerebral palsy before. I was very curious.

Anthony shared with me how people do not acknowledge him. They see his condition and act like he is sick or diseased. What he really want is for people to talk to him directly - regardless of how he looks or behaves. His condition does not affect how he FEELS or thinks or LOVES.

These young men encounter a lot of difficulty and resistance - yet, the gift of traveling with Anthony is seeing that ANY THING is POSSIBLE. I was so amazed at the infinite patience and LOVE these boys shared with Anthony. How gentle their touch was with him. I was also awed and humbled by Anthony - so full of life and joie de vivre. Moving forward despite the physical challenges and mental blocks of others. My heart was full of gratitude as they got off the train at Antwerp.

My blessings and LOVE follow you wherever you go.

Thank you for being LOVECATS and WSMs. Thank you for your inspiration and LOVE. Thank you for just being you and creating ripples of awareness.

I am so grateful. I am so blessed.

Life is great!!!

Weekend in Amsterdam

2009-08-23T17:07:00.008-04:00

Sitting on my houseboat on a beautiful canal - boats going by - we're waving and smiling. This place is AWEsome. A big huge box anchored to a wall, sitting in the water. We arrived yesterday and I am still slowing down to the speed of life. Amsterdam life - tee hee!!

Down one big step into the yoga lounge - comfy pillows and lounger with a big screen projector and great sound system. Down a few more steps to a sweet kitchen with bamboo counters. One more step into the living area - a dining room table, a couch chair by a white Rippen piano and a hammock in the middle of the room. Did I mention a hammock in the LIVING room. How smart. How cool!!! I will ANIMOTO & share when I return.

The bedroom has a round bed that takes up the whole room. A big plush white comforter. With a porthole window looking at the Montelbahn tower. Nice and cozy. WSM Noah and I might have some fun in here. Tee hee!!!

This place is great. We have done so much walking and BIKING - we rented bikes with pedal brakes (you pedal backwards and the bike stops). This city is a mecca for bikers - bike paths everywhere and the little tingle of the bell rules. We drive around and follow the flow (these are some SERIOUS bikers). Need to be fully alert and keep up. And in this city of 15, 000, 000 people, each of them has a bicycle.

Today, we found WesterPark, fabulous trees and shaded trails and grassy lawns. We found a little cafe and had brown Dutch bread full of nuts and herbs topped by thin slices of Emmentaler cheese and half a slightly steamed artichoke with a little tray of yummy dipping sauces.

We felt like kids biking around. The wind in our hairs, the freedom of having no where to go and all day to get there. And the power of our bodies to get us from one point to another. Pedaling and letting go of the handles. What a thrilling day!!!

From the park, we went back into the city. So sore - will have to practice more before returning here - certain bones in my posterior area are tender to the touch. We stopped at a Chinese medicine Reflexology storefront - big plush red chairs beckoned. WSM Noah and I had our cranial and neck areas stimulated while our feet soaked in a hot bath. As people walked by and looked in, we laid back and enjoyed the tender touch of the Chinese masseuses.

Then we walked - each time exploring a new direction. And it's funny to see how WSM Noah and I interact. In a new city in a new space - new language, new rules - we sometimes respond with STRESS - a certain tone of voice or some impatience felt - not as relaxed as usual - not completely trusting this newness - this environment we're in.

The Universe sends me a sign from home. Zeko Meow brother strolls up and lays beside us. I take a deep breath.

I count my blessings. My wonderful husband - celebrating time together in Amsterdam - learning how to communicate even better - getting closer. The weather is fabulous - warm and breezy and lots of places to find shade. We sit here and people watch on the canals.

Life is great.

I am so grateful. I am so blessed.

Thank you O Great Mother Goddess Universe.

Sacred Sunday

2009-08-18T10:36:00.002-04:00

I haven't been to Yoga class since I started to flow.

The Universe nudged. Goddess Dancing Flower in the Water called to escort me to Yoga class. I said NO. I had things on my TO DO list and Yoga class had dropped off the list. I hung up and listened to that conversation in my head.

Yoga and a ride to class - and I said NO. I immediately sat back and took a few deep breaths. Time to get out of my head and into my body. GingerMama and I went for a long hot sweaty

walk. When I returned, I checked out Yoga One's website. A workshop with Jordan Bloom - finding the sacred in the mundane - arm balances and backbends - time to strengthen my

practice and gain wisdom. Cool beans. Signed up for Sunday's class.

Sunday morning, WSM Noah drops me off and goes to the beach. He'll pick me up at 1:00 p.m. but he has to be home at 1:30 p.m. to meet someone. Off I go to sweat and learn and play. Picked up some useful techniques and got INspired by watching others practice and achieve new moves. Learned a few new moves of my own. A beautiful shavasana to end our practice and I'm the first one out the door. I don't see Noah. No worries. I slip back into the studio and check out the time. Exactly 1:30 p.m. What I know is that Noah has come and gone. I take a deep breath and put my yoga mat between my and my backpack and I start walking. Finding the sacred in the mundane.

From Dixie Highway to Johnson Street - I cross the railroad track and am heading east on Johnson. My Ipod playing lovely tunes and the sun feels good on my face. The walk feels great on my body after all those stretches. I keep on walking. I need to pee. I am feeling my body. I need to drink. The hot sun in August at 1:30 p.m. I start to feel a little hot. I wish for the good old days of my youth when I had no fears of hitchhiking - I ask for help - and immediately the horn blows. A car pulls up to offer me a ride. Not even realizing it's for me, I keep on walking. The car drives up a little bit and the horn sounds. The driver opens his window and asks me if I need a ride.

Everything about this car and its driver felt okay - safe in my gut - and yet, an old tape of don't talk to strangers, never get a ride from a stranger plays in my head. I take a deep breath and cross the street and get into the car. What is your name? And the man answers back, Raphael. Angel Raphael who helps the healers. This man drove me to the hospital around my house and dropped me off.

Home 10 minutes after yoga class.

ASK and you shall RECEIVE.

Funny how often I forget to ask.

The Mishpacha

2009-08-11T06:50:00.004-04:00

Mispacha means family in Hebrew.

I am spending a great deal of time this year with MISHPACHA. Part of my research for BIRTH CAMP.

Noah's aunt, Tanta Berti, turned 90 this year in March. We went to Austria to celebrate our MISHPACHA's MATRIARCH. Twelve first cousins and Noah and I (as representatives of the COUSINS CLUB and Shalom ambassadors to our families). We met in Vienna. Three glorious days of breakfasts and teeyulim (adventures) and a beautiful celebration for Tanta Berti.

This is how I saw things:

We are going again at the end of this month for a FAMILY REUNION at the Kfar where it all started.

Very good, very good, YAY!!!

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Gddess Diana

Fearless Leader of Feminine TRUTH

2009-07-16T09:12:00.003-04:00

Goddess Alix says it like it is - this Goddess has Gumption. I love it!!!

Thank you

2009-07-01T05:55:00.000-04:00

After posting my last blog, I went looking for Raw Food on the World Wide Web.

I found WSM Philip and his wonderful blogs and vlogs about how Raw Food changed his life. What a wonderful LOVE CAT!!! He shares it all - words, feelings, emotions, pictures. He details the process exquisitely.

He put out a call to the Universe. I hear you my brother from another mother.

So I am calling all Superheros. The time to shine is Now.

Use your powers.
Transform your life.
Inspire others.

…and don’t forget your cape!

I love you all,

Philip @ Lovingraw

Loving you right back WSM Philip.

Calling the Angels, the SuperHeros, the Dreamers and Me....

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Goddess Diana

Raw Food

2009-06-30T13:11:00.006-04:00

Summer Lunch with WSM Noah and Goddess at the Ark

WSM Noah and I have shifted again.

In March, he went to Israel for 10 days. He returned from Israel and I left for Tennessee, to the Farm for 10 days. I came back and he was juicing. Carrots and celery and beets and greens and apples. Really healthy and yummy stuff. Full of iron and antioxidants - just what a Goddess needs to have a strong body.

In fact, we developed a routine of juicing twice a day. Earthy juice first thing in the morning. This summer, lunch is luscious avocado, golden beet and heirloom tomato slices topped off with a big fat leaf of basil. Dinnertime is a sweeter juice - more carrots, less greens.

Food, as we once knew it, became a thing of the past. Which was amazing because I've had so many issues with food. And wonderful how much more time and energy I have now that I'm not in the kitchen. We also lost a lot of weight - the fat melted off as we let go of dairy products (ice cream and yogurt and fine Italian cheese, sorry Mimi's) and went RAW.

In fact, we had the pleasure of dining at Chef Roxanne's restaurant in Old Mill Valley many years ago before it closed. However, we were just at the beginning of our nutritional journey - eating vegetarian but not particularly healthy.

By taking little baby step forwards, we find the Universe always rewards us. This time, two girlfriends simultaneously share with me a soon to be hot spot, GreenWave Cafe. Thank you Queen Goddess YogaMommy and Mamma Goddess Donna Madonna for being the trendsetters that you are. Oh my Goddess!!! So yummy.

We've become regulars - stocking up on Onion Bread and Nori Snacks and Sprouted Hummus and Snap Happy Crackers. In fact, I even ate a Mushroom Cheeseburger there once - no cheese, no burger and marinated mushrooms -yes, me!!! - it was so delicious - I brought Noah and my Mom and his Mom - my SoulMama - and all of my open minded and mouthed girlfriends. Tee hee!!

We head over there Friday afternoon to stock up for the weekend. Goddess Lisa is all out of her signature Onion Bread. WSM Raoul asks us if we're signed up for the Italian Gourmet Raw Dinner on Saturday night. I look over the menu - Salad, Minestrone Soup, Calzone, Cheesecake - and my mind immediately computes to my previous reality of Italian dinners - heavy, doughy, cheesy .... this whole movie plays out in my head before I take a breath and get back into my present reality - Italian RAW gourmet dinner Saturday night. No cooking. Night out on the town. A nice change of pace. Of course we sign up.

Next evening we're back. The cafe has candles lit and the air smells fresh and juicy. We are seated and served a wonderful salad with Apple Balsamic dressing. Tart and thick. So yummy and filling with sprouts and avocado and greens and cherry tomatoes and sugar snap peas. Every bite so tasty and fresh.

Our plates got whisked away and Goddess Lisa's gorgeous dishes came out with a teacup of minestrone soup, big fat basil leaves topping it off. Room temperature, this delicious soup of tiny vegetable crunches in an aromatic tomato ambrosia tingled the tongue. Dipping the spoon for just a little more to satisfy the palate, I couldn't get enough.

Sitting alongside on these gorgeous happy looking plate, lays a calzone - a beautifully shaped turnover. And some tasty marinara for dipping. I couldn't help myself - I pulled the dough apart to peek in before I tasted. Creamy white something layered with baby spinach leaves and moistened sun dried tomatoes. I bit into it. Delicious. It felt like pizza. White stuff turned out to be almond ricotta cheese. The "dough" - some sort of flax seed bread. Who would have known? It was so delicious. I thought I gave up raving about food when we went raw. However, here I go again.

Tonight, we are being served by beautiful Goddesses whose appreciation and love for the food and its Creatrix is felt. They share with us the ingredients of each concoction as we let the tastes linger on our tongues just for a final moment of gratitude.

And Dessert - Lemon Blueberry Cheesecake - I didn't even have any room left and I still managed to leave my imprint on the nice sized slab that was placed in front of me. I was by then too stuffed for the Almond Milk Cappuccino which WSM Noah told me was delicioso. Enough said.

I was so satifsfied with the fresh ingredients, the creative presentation and the yumminess and healthiness of it all. I could feel the love and healing coming right through the food. And for that I am deeply blessed and grateful.

Thank you Mama Goddess Chef Lisa and all the wonderful crew at the GreenWave Cafe for a most delicious experience.

Fearless Feminine TRUTH

2009-06-29T17:55:00.001-04:00

It's raining again....
I am preparing to flow...
the egg IN-side me is losing her grip
tearing off the wall, tumbling along and down through the uterus
shedding, cleansing, clearing
I am waiting for the blood
Looking forward to it really

I feel bloated and uncomfortable
Sensations of stress
In my pelvis, low back and hips.
A shift, a shift.
I so get it NOW.

I stopped HER progress -
I got in my own WAY
I hindered the movement
And I am feeling it meow.

I knew this was going to happen
I 've seen the signs before
mind & BODY out of alignment
I stopped showing up
Keeping my WORD

BREATHE .... Life
BREATHE .... Love
BREATHE .... Laugh

Learning to laugh at myself for this OVERsight
Grateful for my flash of INsight.
Slowly learning what is true for ME in my body
and ME in my community and ME on this planet

That's me up there doing Lion Laughter
Loose lips means loose vulva
I'm all for that at this moment

Ready to CELEBRATE my flow
So grateful for the GIFTS of my FEmale BODY
And blessed for all the lessons she teaches me

AwoMEN!!!

Michael Jackson & the Rain

2009-06-27T20:23:00.006-04:00

Saturday night - we're sitting out on the patio watching the rain listening to Michael Jackson songs on the radio -

I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'

.... and we're moving our hips and singing along. The words imprinted into our hearts when we were young roll off the tongue as the heart opens and shares FEELINGS. The tears start flowing like the rain....

You've Been Hit By ... You've Been Struck By... A Smooth Criminal

The World lost a prophet - a BROTHER from another mother - ISH BESH KENA as the BriBris say. His genius - his sharing - baring his divinity through the music - the melodies that shook me up, the words that stirred my intellect, the easy beat to it all. I had forgotten what an integral part Michael Jackson played in my childhood and teens and 20s and 30s, tee hee!!!

Songs I heard on the radio which vibrated into my soul - my heart, my hips. I felt and moved thanks to Michael's voice and the radios that pumped the air with him. His music touched me DEEPly. Me and millions of people just like me, all around the world, still swinging our hips and clapping our hands and singing ALOUD ...

Ma ma se ma ma sa ma ma coo sa

The tears help release layers of stale, stubborn and stuck - cell memories and dormant muscles (like pushing through sludge) as the cells slowly reveal their secrets to you. My hands heat up as I place them together to pray. To celebrate the gift of MICHAEL and the legacy he left behind. The music - the memories - the melting.

A B C

It's easy as, 1 2 3

As simple as, do re mi

A B C, 1 2 3

So many changes. So much grief. So much wisdom he left behind for us to feel and hear and EMbrace.

No message could be any clearer

If you want to make the world a better place

Take a Look at yourself then make the change

Gotta get it right while you got the time .....

This grief - so cleansing - so healing - so many layers sloughing off. Connecting deeper into the body where I FEEL the music. Thank you BROTHER Michael. I am so grateful for all that you gave in your lifetime - every song, every dance, every connection with my soul, OUR SOUL. I am so blessed & INspired.

There comes a time when we hear a certain call

When the world must come together as one

We are all a part of God's great big family

And the truth, you know,

Love is all we need

We are the world, we are the children

We are the ones who make a brighter day

it's true we'll make a better day

Just you and me.

(Paraphrased for emphasis & KISS)

Singing & crying with Mama Earth in Hollywood, Florida. At least La Luna is back out to play. Very good. Very good. Yay!!!

Wishing you,

Peace & Love, Just Because,

Goddess Diana

Dad & Me

2009-06-21T11:11:00.000-04:00

Saturday at Dad's - woke up at 5:30 a.m. Opened my eyes, found myself nose to nose with Sammy. We stared at one another. And then he began to purr. We got to know one another better and I gave him a massage. I got up and improvised a yoga studio on Dad's rooftop patio. 30 minutes of Kundalini Yoga for Kids and I was grounded and peaceful.

Dad got up shortly thereafter. We toasted some Montreal bagels. According to Wikipedia - these are hand-made and wood-fired baked bagels. Smaller, sweeter and denser, with a larger hole, than its American counterparts - biting into one takes me right back to my childhood. Dad bought yummy white cheese called Tumi. We cut up some cucumbers and tomatoes and sprinkled them with Montreal spices. I was in childhood heaven. We ate as we sat on the rooftop patio, enjoying the clouds.

Dad changed his weekly routine of going to the synagogue to be with me. And for that, I am deeply grateful. We connected with my brother and his kids on Skype. I think this opened up a whole new way for us to communicate as a family. We called my cousin and planned a visit. I wanted to meet his son - the next generation. We bought some goodies and headed over to see WSM Lior & Mama Goddess Valerie and meet their one creation W. We also met the Dog-God, protector of the house, Snoopy.

W & Snoopy have an AWEsome relationship. Bestfriends and buds, Snoopy plays and protects and engages W. They horse around with a ball. So much love Snoopy has for W as he keeps him active and smiling and happy.

From there, we went to my Mom's favoritest dollar store. My Mom loves to shop for deals - the more shelves and materials, the more treasures she finds. Tee hee!!! Dad took me there to buy lava lamp night lights. So tres cool. Dad then took me to a great shoe store which carries NAOT brand from Israel. Great looking shoes and comfy - LO NORMALI . Tee hee!!! I bought two pairs and some fabulous sandals for Dad. And then we went home for a nap. Dad laid down with Sammy.

I went for a walk in the neighborhood. Picked up the pace. Listened to all the languages. Observed how people dressed and behaved. Very nice to be somewhere where no one knows your name. Allows me to be a silent witness. I stood under some yummy trees and feasted my eyes on lovely flowers. It's good to walk.

Went back home - assessed Dad's computer for webcam hookup. A quick scenic drive to Marche Central (huge megamall megacentre that didn't exist when I was growing up here)and Future Shop (the local Best Buy) and we were all set to go. Dad took me through some very green and lush neighborhoods with cute boutiques and outdoor cafes (Outremont and NDG). We stopped to eat something and then headed home.

We hooked up the webcam. Created a Skype account for Dad. And voila!!! Dad connected with his grandkids. I could feel his depression lift as he could actually see, IN THE MOMENT, and BE with his loved ones. It was way cool. For him and for them. Tee hee!!!

We settled ourselves for the evening. Made some Morrocan Mint tea - pulled out some KAAK biscuits and yummy Romanian cookies and watched And the Band Played On [VHS]. Thank you Goddess Lucia for telling me about this film. We learned and cried and shared a deep emotional moment - Dad and I.

Dad and me - this is very nice. I might have to do this more often.

Thanks Dad!!!

Weekend with Dad

2009-06-20T07:11:00.002-04:00

On Tuesday, I called Dad to see how he was doing. He sounded really down. Mom is in Texas with the grandchildren and Dad is alone in Montreal with Sammy Meow. I decided to spend Father's Day weekend with Dad. Found some awesome priced round trip tickets to Montreal. And away we go!!!

On Friday morning, I had my morning beach walk and swim with Goddess Leslie. Stopped by the chiropractor for an adjustment. Came home, walked GingerMama, showered and headed to the airport. Five hours later I was in Montreal.

Dad picked me up at the airport. He had groceries in the car - half a dozen fresh Montreal Bagels, strawberries, blueberries, rasberries and some beautiful Halibut steaks. I couldn't help myself. I dug into a bagel before we even left the airport. Dad showed some expert driving skills as he got us out of rush hour traffic and safely home.

We went home to cook up a feast. We washed the fish steaks and cut up some tomatoes, put it all in a pan to simmer with some cumin and Montreal spices. The aromas that wafted from the kitchen were intense. Twenty minutes later, we sat down outside on the terrace to eat.

Dad built a beautiful patio/terrace outside his apartment where he has a great view of the sun setting in the West. Sammy showed off his jumping and climbing skills as we sat and talked and enjoyed the evening sun.

The nice thing about mid June in Montreal is that the sun does not set until about 9:00 p.m. We had a lovely sunset and enjoyed the evening breeze. The neighbors stopped over for a glass of wine. It was really nice.

It's funny. I haven't really had any Daughter-Father time with my Dad, especially with me as an adult. It was really nice to spend one-on-one time with him. And we have such adventures planned for tomorrow!!

Goddess Ruby Meow

2009-06-18T16:44:00.001-04:00

On Monday, my Ruby Meow died. She took her last breath in the cool shade of the palm tree as she lay facing the house. We found her Tuesday morning and disposed of her body. We cried and yelled a little as we dealt with the reality of a dead body in June in Florida.

I cried as I brushed my teeth. I cried as I braided my hair. I cried as I hugged Noah. And then I took a deep breath and composed myself. We got into the car and drove off to Laughter Yoga. I didn't feel like going or leading the Circle or being out in the beautiful Sun.

We got to the Park and I took in the trees and the leaves. I breathed in their aromas. I absorbed the pureness and stillness of nature. I greeted two squirrels who were kind enough to share the picnic table with my purse and sign-in sheet. I sat on the table facing the lake and put my thumb and Jupiter fingers together and took a deep breath. And let go and surrendered to my feelings of abandon and love and grief and hurt and fear and sadness. I took another deep breath and I found the gratitude.

Images and feelings flitted through my head and heart as I remembered the wonderful naps Crone Goddess Ruby Meow and I shared. She taught me about shiatsu and the power of touch. She initiated me into the language of the soul and the signs to focus on. She reminded me of the gifts of YOGA and putting ME as first priority. She held onto my chest and put her heart next to mine as we exchanged energy and purred together. She was my sensitive One.

Laughter Yoga really helped. Laughing - the other side of crying - and deep breathing and shaking my body. My wonderful community of Laughter yogis and yoginis - sharing their energy and getting and giving hugs. That alleviated so much of the sadness - helped me focus on what truly matters. In the healing circle, I placed Crone Goddess Ruby Meow - knowing and feeling her freedom and happiness.

I am overflowing with emotion and it is so RAW.

Maybe It's Time

2009-06-17T07:07:00.010-04:00

Goddess Patti shared these words on her blog. It was what I needed to crack my shell.

Maybe it's time to take care of yourself.
maybe it's time to scream out loud
that you don't have the answers
and you just plain can't figure out what
it's all about...

maybe it's time to stop doin' the half ride.
maybe it's time to step into it all.
to weep your guts out.
to hurt all the way to your core.
to allow the hurt to be there.

....TERRI ST.CLOUD

Two paragraphs from Goddess Terri that touched my soul today as I prepared to OPEN and share my inner world. Everything is so RAW right meow. Hurting all the way to the CORE. Sitting with it. Accepting it. Surrendering to it.

Raw and messy world of FEELINGS - sensations in the bones and the belly - sadness in my stomach - feeling yucky - clenching stomach muscles and fists as I resist. Allowing the hurt to be there.

Breathing .......... Breathing ........ Breathing....

On the yoga mat as I stretch and breath, I feel her under my arm, her tail swishing by my skin, her fur rubbing up to mine, caressing me with her gentle touch. A deep breath. Giving in to the Moment and entering my body.

She died with such grace. A queen sprawled out on Mama Earth shaded by a luscious frond of leaves from the palm trees. She had a view to the ArtRoom and the pool and ME. In the hammock. Feeling sick. Feeling her. Not knowing. KNOWING. Hurting. Healing.

Breathing......... Breathing........... Breathing

Allowing the hurt to be there. Huge cell memory release. Shifting. Letting Go. Surrendering. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

Breathing......... Breathing........... Breathing

I am so blessed for the eight OM-mazing years of my life that I spent in the Divine presence of Goddess Ruby Moew.

I am so grateful.

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Goddess Diana

Flickr

2009-05-29T12:12:00.001-04:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

The Spirit of Laughter Yoga

2009-05-05T13:56:00.002-04:00

Sunday Scribblings #159 -- Language

2009-04-19T17:12:00.007-04:00

LANGUAGE:

1. Communication of thoughts and feelings through a system of arbitrary signals, such as voice sounds, gestures, or written symbols. System used by nation, people.

3. Body language; kinesics.

7. The manner or means of communication between living creatures other than humans: the language of dolphins.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 4th ed. copyright

I have always been confused about LANGUAGE. The first language I knew was FEELINGs. That was quickly replaced with WORDS - of the Hebrew variety and then French and then English. I always found all of these difficult although I have mastered them.

I am still mastering Patriarchy. It's not my MOTHER Tongue. However it has been useful in helping me decipher REALity. In this country we are blessed to live in and upon.

I am just reMEMBERing my MOTHER Tongue. It was hidden away for so long. She is reEMERGing. With every book, every meeting, every HER-STORY, I am reMINDing myself of what I KNOW in my BONES.

Lately, I am reDISCOVERing another language. Resonated with it in the Dog Whisperer. Encountered it again in Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. How does he put it? The language WITH-out words - the UNIVERSAL language. EnerCHI. Good, good, good - good vibrations!!!! (Beach Boys - YAY!!!)

I watch the four legged souls who share my sacred space. Each of them here to teach me and Guide ME about how I BE. The MONKEY in me. How my body language speaks LOUDER than words. How I can say NO-thing with my mouth. How my thoughts and LOVE-ing intentions set things off into motion. How to VIBRATE from the INside OUT. How to create HEAT - fire skill very useful. How to heal and BE in the MOMENT and MEDITATE, "...Mediate ....Alleviate .....Try not to hate .....Love your mate" (lyrics from INXS) Tee hee!!!

I make certain adjustments - CHANGES - with a little more LOVE - it gets me NOwhere to say NO. I am OPEN. I accept.

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Goddess Diana

Friday, Friday

2009-04-17T11:40:00.005-04:00

Wow!!! The week is flying by.

So many things I'd like to share - writing a little bit each day in an attempt to flesh out my stories and add the necessary details in order to be clear. Soon, I will post and share.

I have been slowly reintegrating back into my life - adapting to the ElectroMagnetic Fields and living in a city and the different sounds of my environment. I have been spending SLOW MO time with my housemates (GingerMama and Ruby Meow, Zeko Meow and Elly Meow) as they remind me of what is truly important. This moment, and the next.

I have been warned. The days of living without the AirConditioner on are almost over. I am relishing the windows open and the breezes that waft through and the noise of the neighborhood and its smaller residents. The chirping of birds, and the strange sounds the squirrels make as they jump from tree limb to tree limb on the front lawn. Soaking it all in before I get enclosed in the Box again.

Today, my parents are coming over. We are going to the Ocean for a healing dip into the Water. It is time. Time to release the saliva still stuck in my arm from SAM the MAN. Time to release the tensions and MAMA-dramas which seem to envelop Mom and Dad especially after they go visit the grandkids.

We are going to immerse ourselves into the Ocean and flow with the current and allow our muscles to relax and just BE. Through the process of osmosis, water molecules will move across our skin membrane to the higher levels of salt concentration in the Ocean. Because we have a high salt content in our own blood - the change to our internal environment is subtle - a detoxification of the Natural kind.

A few years ago, Noah and I took Dad to the Dead Sea in Israel. The Dead Sea is 8.6 times as salty as the ocean. In this water, the body floats right up to the surface. When you walk out of the water, you skin feels soft and silky. (This is a picture of Dad at Laughter Yoga in Israel. He's doing Lion Laughter. Very good, very good, Yay!!!)

This year, in preparation of birthing at home, we installed a SaltWater Pool System. Guess we might like more salt than others.... which is funny, since I never use salt when I cook. Tee hee!!!

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Goddess Diana

DARE to DREAM

2009-04-14T21:31:00.007-04:00

I DREAMED A DREAM

It feels so good when people make decisions
from their hearts, when the truth just bursts out,
when you feel good from the inside, and vibe
with love.

I had tears watching this tonight.

And I love this Feisty Goddess Susan Boyle.
What an IN-spiration.

Thank you to Goddess Lisa of Amazing Births
for this AWEsome ripple.

I am so grateful. I am so blessed.

Wishing you,

Peace & Love, Just Because,

GoddessDiana

BLISS BOOTCAMP

2009-04-12T19:39:00.008-04:00

SAVE THE DATE June 12th - 15th, 2009

BLISS BootCAMP, Thompson's Station, Tennessee

I am so excited!!! I am teaching Laughter Yoga at Bliss Boot Camp. Yay!!! We will be situated at a beautiful rustic lodge at the Deer Run Retreat surrounded by 90 acres of trees - about 45 minutes from the Nashville Airport and yet universes apart.

This fabulous retreat is hosted by none other than Goddess Bliss , my WildChild guide to the world of ART. Bliss BootCamp's featured artists and teachers include Cindy Forrester (another Floridian) and Liz Allbrecht (had the chance to PLAY in her sacred spaces) Tee hee!!!

We will be LAUGHING and DANCING and learning how to make heirloom bottles and jewelry and PLAYING and EATING yummy foods with local ingredients and CREATING a sisterhood - BLISS BOOTCamp Goddesses.

More details to come. Since there are only 22 spots available for this retreat, I thought I might give you a little notice.

Wishing you,

Peace & Love, Just Because,

Goddess Diana

Angels Everywhere

2009-04-10T16:49:00.008-04:00

This is the angel who healed me on Monday - Goddess Brooke. I met her in Concourse C at the Nashville Airport - in the midst of all the pandemonium - Spring Break, end of the Country Music Awards, a chess championship, delayed and cancelled flights - I found her little piece of heaven.

Right across from the Food Court in Terminal C, with an hour to go before a flight, I found the Massage Bar. Signed up for a Combo Massage (Single Shot and Foot Massage and Heat Therapy).

Goddess Brooke called my name and we started with a foot massage. She seated me in this comfy lounge chair and almost flipped me over. Tee hee!!! She placed a heated flax seed shoulder wrap around my neck and put a soothing eye pillow to shield me from the elements. She put these little booties on my toes and started to massage my heel and the sole/Souls of my feet.

Goddess Brooke is a very talented healer as well as a little Cutie!!! She has a great demeanor, a smile in her eyes and a soft spoken happy attitude. Her touch is light yet strong. She is sensitive and intuitively picks up everything that is going on in your body once you relax into her arms.

Her technique was so exquisite. When seated in my half seat, sheltered from the airport world, she rubbed and explored. She found tension and applied slight pressure on the spot and held on. Just the right amount of laying on hands. Enough so that I could feel her presence and take in her energy at my own pace. Then she would stretch my skin, a little to the left, a little to the right. Feeling the wonderful heat of her hands and my body realigning and loosening up. The space she was creating for my body to heal itself - slowly manipulating my skin and bringing awareness to the space that needed love - it was a divine experience.

I finished my massage, paid with pleasure, peed in the bathroom conveniently located next door and heard the final boarding call for my flight.

What great timing!!! Walked onto my flight with my cheeks red and all this energy coursing in my body. Found a seat in the second row with Goddesses In Real Life Brittaney and Angel.

What a KO-inkidink!!!

Thank you Goddess Brooke, my curandera sister. You will surely see me again on my next layover.

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Goddess Diana

Bling Souvenirs

2009-04-09T14:54:00.004-04:00

I get off the Southwest airplane in Orlando looking for my connection to Fort Lauderdale. The airport is packed full of people. I find a departures and gate connection board and notice how many flights are cancelled or delayed. So many that my next flight in 40 minutes has no room on this board. Wandering in search....

I head off to the bathroom to change my water. Release from the airplane and renew by taking another swig from my bottle of water. On my way to the Food Court and right across from my next departing gate, I see a booth full of colors - tshirts, tank tops, hats - full of bling bling. I walk by, absorbing the beauty of the color spectrum when Carlos tells me - "all these shirts are customizable."

I spot a cat and a fairy. Hmm, the wheels in my head start to turn. Carlos entices me with - "and look at the wonderful fabrics on my shirts and the colors."

I have already spotted a lovely green and hot pink tank top - good quality, great cotton, not made in China.

"For $5.00 more, we can customize your name on it " - Carlos sweetens the deal - "and it only takes 2 minutes."

That's all I've got as I hear them call out for boarding on my plane. I place my order and Carlos lovingly and patiently gets the font and letters and images and makes me two beautiful tank tops.

What a great gift!!! Personalized customized bling bling merchandise. What a concept. Carlos gives me his card - he and his wife Terri Diaz are the owners and designers of this little gem. Carlos tells me he hopes to be in airports all over and that I will soon be able to place any future orders online at his website. What a great way to do business WSM Carlos and what a nifty gift, from me to me. Tee hee!!!

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
GoddessDiana