Maybe It's Time

Goddess Patti shared these words on her blog.  It was what I needed to crack my shell.

Maybe it's time to take care of yourself.
maybe it's time to scream out loud
that you don't have the answers
and you just plain can't figure out what
it's all about...

maybe it's time to stop doin' the half ride.
maybe it's time to step into it all.
to weep your guts out.
to hurt all the way to your core.
to allow the hurt to be there.

....TERRI ST.CLOUD

Two paragraphs from Goddess Terri that touched my soul today as I prepared to OPEN and share my inner world. Everything is so RAW right meow. Hurting all the way to the CORE. Sitting with it. Accepting it. Surrendering to it.

Raw and messy world of FEELINGS - sensations in the bones and the belly - sadness in my stomach - feeling yucky - clenching stomach muscles and fists as I resist. Allowing the hurt to be there.

Breathing .......... Breathing ........ Breathing....

On the yoga mat as I stretch and breath, I feel her under my arm, her tail swishing by my skin, her fur rubbing up to mine, caressing me with her gentle touch. A deep breath. Giving in to the Moment and entering my body.

She died with such grace. A queen sprawled out on Mama Earth shaded by a luscious frond of leaves from the palm trees. She had a view to the ArtRoom and the pool and ME. In the hammock. Feeling sick. Feeling her. Not knowing. KNOWING. Hurting. Healing.

Breathing......... Breathing........... Breathing

Allowing the hurt to be there. Huge cell memory release. Shifting. Letting Go. Surrendering. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

Breathing......... Breathing........... Breathing

I am so blessed for the eight OM-mazing years of my life that I spent in the Divine presence of Goddess Ruby Moew.

I am so grateful.

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Goddess Diana

Out of this World

Looking at the clouds on Friday afternoon, being completely still and just BEing, so many missing pieces of the puzzle came together.

Watching with wide open eyes as the clouds come together and separate - in random formation and yet not, it comes to me that we are not the only sentient beings on our Planet.  

These amazing lush clouds, enchanting me with their patterns - reminding me of deep stored secrets within my soul.   And as I sink in to the earth and become one with the sand, more is revealed to me by these ethereal floating masses that come together and move apart so gracefully, as if they are dancing for my bemusement.

And then I hear the whispers, the stories the clouds are ready to share - Can you see me?  one asks.  Can you feel what I am trying to convey?  And I watch in wonder and awe - feeling my heart swell open as I connect with life beyond this level - spirits who come together to protect us and watch us and provide shelter.

It is the same with the stars, you know.  To hear their stories, I must be still and quiet and be with them in their time - when the world turns off and peace prevails.

One of the blessings of my new love, Ginger, is that I am up and out the door at 4:44 a.m.   We commune with the stars, Ginger and I, while taking in the smells and the sights and the stillness.  This morning, we talked to Mother Moon, the little sliver of her we could see, as she gets ready to blanket herself in darkness and bring the New Moon period to us.

Life is good!!!  All is well in my world.

Peek-A-Boo

Peek-a-boo, where are you?

Totally honest -no blockages, no veils, peeling back all the layers.

Honesty - I was afraid to burden others with my truths and used to fear what others thought - tee hee!!! at least this one is passe - walking around with hair on your legs and being yourself regardless of what others see or think - broke this barrier down completely.  Bye bye to to this layer of IN-secure-ity.

I am finding that my own explorations of the terrain called ME is quite exciting.  I have been adventurous as I tiptoe through the valleys and ravines of ME, letting go of some of what I once labeled as "mistakes" or "faults".  Learning to reLANGUAGE these landmarks and hotspots as "gifts" and "blessings".  The parts of me that make me U-nique and different and yet so the same and interconnected to others. 

I am living within an emotional environment of TRUTH.   Keeping my heart open to what I FEEL and cannot yet see.  Trusting my heart and the GREAT GODDESS/MOTHER GAIA to keep me from closing off - no disappearing acts or running away -  being fully present in my relationships and friendships and life in general.

If my path is to be successful, then I must share it.  I cannot shrink because others may feel envious.  NO MORE!!!  I have released relationships with women who were not ready to support me in whatever direction my STAR takes off.  ReMEMBERing that this guidance and HELP is within - Goddess knows there are so many here within me, tee hee!!! - I have my own cheerleading squad, my own PEEPS,  to PRO-pel me forward.  Go, Goddess, Go.

And of course, truly opening my eyes and realizing all the Goddesses/SISTERS who are around me - who connect and call and reMIND and nurture and love me and help me keep the flame connected and burning strong so that I may light the fire under theirs.

Peek-a-boo, where are you?  I'm ready to come out and play!!!

(The awesome picture above was created in PhotoBooth on my MacBook using Mirror effect)