FREE TO BE - the Goddess in Me: Labor of Love

A few weeks ago, Dad had surgery on his right knee for a torn meniscus. WSM Noah and I went to the clinic to be with Mom while Dad was having this outpatient surgery performed. We waited a few hours while he was in the recovery room to help escort him home. When he came out, he was fuzzy - emotional and woozy from the anesthesia and the nerve block to his right femur.

WSM Noah removed the middle row of seats in Mom's SUV so we could slide Dad in onto the floor and let him sit with his legs extended. I sat behind him, cradling him between my legs, to cushion him from the car door. I held him and stroked his forehead during the brief ride home. We got him home and into bed. We hooked up the ice machine and connected to the tubes wrapped around his knee. Covered him up and held his hand until he fell asleep.

Over the next few days, I came over to give my Mom some free time to run errands and just BE. Being that their place is Grand Central Station (my Dad is President of his building as well as on a whole bunch of committees at Century Village), I kissed Mom good bye, locked the door after her and turned off all the phone ringers in the house.

I sat on the bed next to Dad, my legs crisscrossed apple sauce, and studied as he slept. When he would cry out in pain, I placed his hands on his heart and mine ontop of his and we breathed long deep breaths together to release the sensations of pain and discomfort of his body. I caressed his brow when the pain overwhelmed him.

We were together in silence for the majority of the day as he slept deeply for brief periods of time. And when he awoke, he unburdened his heart and then take deep breaths with me until he fell back asleep and let his body heal himself. While he slept I looked at all the family pictures on the wall and memories came flooding back of different times and spaces.

Being with my Dad has been such a blessing. Being able to reverse the roles and care for him as he once cared for me was perhaps even more healing for me than for him. Being there in his presence while creating a space of peace and calm, helped me release and let go of old cell memories of my younger years. I felt and experienced old past hurts and resentments and breathed them right through and off my skin. Hearing him breathe and holding his hands and wiping the fever off his brow gave me a completely different perspective on the parent - child relationship and even the father - daughter dynamic.

It allowed me to open my heart even wider and allow the child within to come out and play and nurture and love unconditionally. The adult in me found peace with the past.

The Universe provided this opportunity for healings on so many levels.