Tuesday, September 30, 2008


This post is dedicated to WSM Noah, my wonderful husband - for his patience and LOVE and understanding these last few weeks as I find my way again. As I shed the last layers of ANGER that still seems to lurk just under the surface. And  deal with the False Expectations Appearing Real and weaknesses that hold me back.

He constantly surprises me - after 10 years of marriage. He joined me for a Renew and Restore two hour yoga workshop yesterday. As we set there stretched out in asanas supported by pillows and bolsters and covered in blankets, his hand reached out across the floor for mine. I looked over at him and there he was, smiling and loving me.

I love you too my KG Choo. Thank you for being you and all that you do. This song is for you.

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am
Do I fit in.
Make believin' is hard alone,
Out here on my own

We're always provin' who we are
Always reachin' for the risin' star
To guide me far
And shine me home
Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby, be strong for me
Baby, belong to me
Help me through
Help me need you

Until the morning sun appears
Making light of all my fears
I dry the tears
I've never shown
Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby, be strong for me
Baby, belong to me
Help me through
Help me need you

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am
Do I fit in
I may not win
But I can't be thrown
Out here on my own
On my own

New Moon Energy

Can't sleep - new moon - energy's all in a fluster - long nap after weight class and Laughter Yoga and now here I am, at 1:11 a.m. writing.... feeling.... thinking....about my purpose in life. And how best to express it.

What am I here to be? to do? to experience?

Here to be me - to be real - to be happy. Here to experience joy and peace and share that with others. Here to be whatever I choose to draw on my canvas of life.

So, I will sit quietly on this early morning and see what my heart has to say. And pray. And connect with the Wise One inside until she is ready to speak.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Sunday Scribblings #130 -- Weddings

Goddess Jennifer & WSM Michael

After hearing the Dalai Lama live in Fort Lauderdale in 2004, we decided to become peace ambassadors in our families. The Dalai Lama said and I paraphrase: "How can we have peace in the world when we do not have peace within ourselves? when we do not have peace within our families?"

At the time, both WSM Noah and I were following patterns of behaviors learned from our parents on how to "be a family" and communicate with our siblings. There was not much SHALOM BAYEET (peace in our home). We barely knew our siblings as the adults they had become. As for cousins, that was a stretch and divide apart.

Goddess Shannon & WSM Jesse

In fact, our wedding back in 1999 had been full of family misunderstandings, mama dramas and egotistical disputes. And that's just what we knew about on the surface as we were running around getting arrangements completed so we could be wed. We didn't want anybody else to have this kind of experience.

Over the years, as we became more peaceful in our hearts and get "it" (what truly matters), WSM Noah and I made a pact to attend as many family weddings as possible. We want to get to know our cousins (from whichever side and however we are related) and change the pattern. We choose to welcome all new family members with open hearts and arms.

Goddess Sigal & flower Goddesses in Real Life

We see ourselves as the official Family Greeters. We are there to do whatever it takes to make the wedding a joyous and happy occasion. We run errands, drive cars, assist wedding planners, clean up houses, whatever it takes. We are so aware that this is the Bride & Groom's day to be enveloped in a CIRCLE of LOVE.

We hug, we cry, we laugh. We meet and greet and share the love and joy in our hearts at seeing our global family expand. And we create so many beautiful memories together. And the benefits is that not only do we gain family, we get to share friends.

WSM Lior & Goddess Valerie

Since we made our pact, WSM Noah and I have been blessed with attending TWELVE cousins' weddings and plenty of opportunities to travel in Florida, California, Philadelphia, New Jersey, Montreal and Israel.

And since I so much enjoy weddings, I have been blessed with being a photographer's assistant at a girlfriend's wedding in Cincinnati (thank you Goddess Robin) and wedding coordinator for my girlfriend's blessed event (thank you Goddess Leslie).

Me & Goddess Leslie

WSM Noah and I are going to keep on sharing our love and making sure we can help in any way to keep any wedding we attend enveloped in LOVE and PEACE and HARMONY.

We are so grateful to our cousins and friends for all these wonderful opportunities to witness and share in their LOVE and envelop them in our circle of Peace & Love, Just Because.

Happy People Dancing on Planet Earth

from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Explanation: What are these humans doing? Dancing. Many humans on Earth exhibit periods of happiness, and one method of displaying happiness is dancing. Happiness and dancing transcend political boundaries and occur in practically every human society. Above, Matt Harding traveled through many nations on Earth, started dancing, and filmed the result. The video is perhaps a dramatic example that humans from all over planet Earth feel a common bond as part of a single species. Happiness is frequently contagious -- few people are able to watch the above video without smiling.

Thank you for posting this wonderful explanation and inspiring video!!!   And a great big thank you to Goddess Terri for sharing this link in her newsletter.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Rollercoaster of Life

This last month has been like a blur - came back from North Carolina and it took me 5 days to adjust and center and reTURN to the world I had left behind.  I tried to jump right back into my exercise routines:  walking and Yoga and Pilates.

I love, love, love YOGA!!! I love seeing how strong my body is - how I can twist and turn and hold my body in positions I never thought I could.  Doing a handstand against the wall, I did not focus on my hands and bent my pillars of support and came crashing down.  And of course, I kept on going like it did not happen.  

However, a huge bruise on my backside left me reeling.  The picture above is two days after the fall and the one below is three days later.  

Now, I know that my JOB is to show up. Whatever and wherever I am committed to, no matter what I feel internally, it is my job to show up.  That night at Laughter Yoga, Goddess Sergi from the Sun Sentinel showed up.  She attended our class and interviewed the members of our circle.  We had a lovely session and although we laughed and created powerful love and light in our corner of the Universe, I felt a little depleted and drained.  The next day, I could barely function.  The New Moon leaving me weak and sleepy.  Barely functioning - just getting by - ODAAT - one day at a time.  One foot in front of the other.  Feeling empty and broken.  Feeling sad.

I realize how the Universe gives me gentle life lessons when I fall out of balance (tee hee!!!). Some people need accidents and drama.  I just need a little tenderness and swelling to make me turn within and see what is out of sorts.

And it's this same LIFE LESSON about going slow, taking my time, being present in the moment rather than trying to rush through life to catch up.  Catch up to what?  My mind can tell you a long list of TO-DO's that it thinks needed to be done yesterday.  Tee hee!!!

However, this reMINDer is about PRIORITIES.  Slowing down - spending time with the Meows and GingerMama after being away for four days.  Allowing my body to decompress and let go of the experiences and people I met and settle down to my home pace before plunging into my activities and busy-ness.

I am listening OH Universe - I am listening to all of the messages my body has for me.

And of course, the gift for showing up - a fabulous article by Goddess Sergi in the Sun Sentinel Community section and some fantastic photos.  Tee hee!!!  That's me doing some Argument laughter.

I slept and swam the whole weekend, never turned on my computer, hung out with the little PEEPS and healed myself back to a new state of normal.  or not.  

Life is good and like a roller coaster.  Sometimes I'm up and sometimes I'm down.  And then I pick myself up and start dancing again!!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


This commercial makes me laugh!!! Tee hee!!!  and how true!!!

Thank you Goddess Malka & WSM George for this beautiful ripple.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Tag - You're it

Goddess Beth, a sister Blogger and Sunday Scribblings writer has tagged me to list SIX unspectacular quirks of mine.

QUIRK: a peculiar trait, an odd habit. Hmmm, six? Tee hee!!! This will be easy.
Now, granted, I think all of my quirks are spectacular.

I read more than one book at a time. I have three books in mid state at any time. It's like my brain can only process so much so I move to another book, another topic, another lifetime and get absorbed until I can't no more or get called away. Perhaps the equivalent to a televised commercial. Tee hee!!!

I have to wear a tiara to do housework. Before, I start cleaning toilets or mopping floors, it is MANDATORY to crown myself. I bought a beautiful bling-bling tiara from Claire's which I put on before I start loving my house back to CLEAN. The best part is if UPS or FEDEX or neighbors show up during housecleaning and I answer the door with my tiara. Tee hee!!

I never get the right lyrics to a song. So I make them up as I go along. I sing, loud and proud, but not necessarily what was created by the artist. It's so much more fun this way!!! And it allows me recognition of a great number of songs and sounds. It makes it a little hard at Karaoke when I have to see the actual words that were written for the song. Tee hee!!!

4. I love sleeping with my Meows. More than sleeping really - it's like I am having an intimate affair/seduction with Ruby Meow when she circles around me and then falls to my hip and allows me to touch her nose and then her little paws come out as she massages very subtly different bones and muscles. Each Meow has their own little way of meeting and greeting and allowing our time to proceed. For me, it's learning a new language and meditating through Meows. I attempt to give myself at least two hours every day for this wonderful and necessary part of my life.

5. I love being out and about in the early A.M. - 4:44 a.m. is a favorite. I love having my neighborhood to myself. GingerMama and I can walk and talk and look and linger. We get to commune with the stars and the Moon. Not many other souls are up at this time. Not much electricity or noise or car pollution. Just me and the Stars and GingerMama and the moon and the ESSENCE.

Coming out of my shell - tee hee!!! I feel like a turtle. Actually, I was one for the longest time. Hardly coming out of my house or going places with lots of people. Coming out at dusk and dawn. Living a rich interior life within me and within the walls of my home. People think I am such a social person and yet I am very shy and INtroverted. I haven't met many of my neighbors and I have been living here 10 years now. Yet, this peaceful time has let me grow beautiful flowers in my garden and patience and calm and presence.

Now, none of these quirks bother me. I have learned to LAUGH at myself over the years. And in fact, I have found these quirks to be helpful in all sorts of bizarre and yummy ways.

My instructions were to share my quirks and tag six other writers I've come to know on Sunday Scribblings. So if I have tagged you it is because your weekly words and sharing have made me curious to know more about you and your wonderful lives. Thank you for your participation and sharing!!!

Here are the rules from Goddess Vicki:

1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

I have tagged these phenomenal writers who teach me about life by sharing their own. And for that I am truly grateful and blessed!!!

Goddess Strawberry Swirl and Goddess Aegiale and Goddess Jenn and Goddess Linda May and Goddess Granny Smith and Goddess Beautiful Witch - tag, you're it!!!

Monday, September 22, 2008

The Wish

Between Tropical Storm Hannah and Hurricane Ike, and celebrating Noah's 41st Birthday, we boarded an NCL cruise from Miami.  More on that later...
I usually wish upon a star every night.  You know:

"Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight"

During the summer and change to fall, it's in the early morning, at 4:44 a.m. that I make my wish on the first star I see when GingerMama & I start our walk.   I've always asked for world peace.  For Mama Earth.  For me and you.  For us and the LITTLE PEEPS who live amongst us and within us.

Feeling completely blessed and fortunate for the little hide-away my McGyverish husband created on the balcony of the NCL band created a little hide-away overlooking the ocean - shaded from the Sun - I am laying on a cushion on the deck watching the clouds and listening to the water.   I am with others out at sea yet so exquisitely alone at this moment in this reality.

I am reading The CIRCLE by Laura Day.  Savoring her words and ener-CHI in this peaceful book which resonates deeply.  Discovering my one true wish and putting it into the language of The CIRCLE.  One single WISH. 

And she asks:  "What single change in your life would give you the most joy?"

I pray and allow myself to feel.   I chant and listen to my internal rhythm.  I put my hand on my heart and hear what she has to SAY.  I draw a circle and heart it and write down my WISH.
I then have the audacity to look up at the sky and demand the Universe give me a sign.  " I need a sign to let me know you're here".... (Train).  I gazed at the clouds and meditated on the peace in my heart.  And all of a sudden I saw it.  In the middle of a beautiful set of clouds right smack dab in front of me.

    Me and rainbows go way back.  They always seem to show up for me when I least expect it and when I most need some sort of affirmation, or encouragement for the choices I make or the steps that I take.    Took my breath away it did.  Here it is again in perspective to the rest of the sky  - tee hee!!!

For me, rainbows have great significance - they always seems to come to me when I ask for signs or meet up with spirits.    In Greek mythology, a rainbow is considered to be a path made by a messenger between Earth and Heaven.  Also, in the Bible, Book of Genesis, Noah gets a rainbow as a sign from God - a covenant between God/Goddess and the Earth.  

Rainbows only last for a few moments.  A conversation starts, focus is lost - we look and it's gone.  We settle back into quiet and bliss - observing the sky and BEing.  The winds, the water, the clouds.  A half hour passes.  And then right in front of our line of sight:

Rainbow #2.   

I open my heart to what this means to me.  I open my heart to greater sensitivities and understanding things that are not visible to my eyes.  I open my heart to my IN-tuition and gifts of SIGHT and FEELINGS.   I am ready for this great change.  I am ready for 2.  I am open.  I am ready.  I accept.

I open my heart to all the souls who are ready to dance the Earth with me.  tee hee!!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Writing again

when i stop, i loo-se my MOMENT-um.

I retreat into my skin and wallow in my inner world - allowing my body to CONsume me. So easy to sway here and play the beautiful music and see the pretty colors. So much easier than interACTing with others in the real world.

It seems so scary to share & reveal... to open my heart and BE vulnerABLE with my FEELings and EMOtions.

BE OPEN - I keep on hearing these words --- over and over again -it seems to be my mantra for this week - a reMINDer to myself to REturn to YOGA (which backwards is a goy, tee hee!!!)

.perhaps this is withdrawal from not practicing yoGA this week, not stretching and allowing myself to grow, taking the easy way out and blaming it on the pain.

Thank you Goddess #2 for pushing and asking and reMINDing me to share about the RAINbows. And so I say YES to the Universe and BREATHE and allow the flow from my heart to my fingers - it's like playing the piano all over again.

I am so grateful. I am so blessed.

Peace Day - SEPTEMBER 21, 2008

"Hearts for Peace": International Day of Peace Movie