Matriarchs - My Great Aunties - Part II

Besides our wonderful dinner and family BBQ, we had the opportunity to take the Matriarchs to the Miami Zoo. What a beautiful day. It started out in the low 70s and the temperature rose to the mid 70s. The sun was shining and the humidity was low with a gentle breeze. The Miami Zoo is an open air zoo - for the most part, no cages. It did mean a lot of walking. We put Auntie Maggie in a wheelchair as well as Auntie Sylvia and away we went.

We visited with the lions and tigers and camels. We saw an elephant take a river of a pee and a huge dump.  We saw orangutans and all sorts of feathered friends.  However, the highlight of our day was watching and hearing the mammoth turtles have sex. Both aunties got out of their wheelchairs and stood up to see this feat.  It seems like we were witnesses to all the important biological functions. Tee hee!!!

Just before the end of their visit, we went to see a late afternoon movie together, The Secret Life of Bees. Both Auntie Maggie and I had read the book. I still cried. Definitely bring the box of Kleenex. After eating a bag of popcorn each, I didn't think the Matriarchs had room for dinner.  Yet, 5 minutes later at Moonlite Diner, Auntie Maggie had eggs and potatoes and Auntie Sylvia had a tuna salad sandwich.  These women never cease to amaze me.  Tee hee!!!

We will all meet again in California in February to celebrate Auntie Maggie's 90th birthday.

We are Family

Great Auntie Sylvia and Riley, oldest and youngest members of the family

The grand Matriarchs of our family were here together last week.  As a Goddess, I am especially grateful that the oldest living relatives of the Seltzer family are MATRIARCH Goddesses.

Great Auntie Maggie and Great Auntie Sylvia were reunited again.  Auntie Maggie flew in from California for a two week sojourn with her sister.  We had the privilege of picking her up at the airport and breaking bread with her and Auntie Sylvia.  It was such a beautiful moment to see them reunited and hugging since their last visit when Uncle Jack passed away.  We ate some Italian tuna and olives and pickles on thick Tomato Basil Bread from Panera.  Auntie Maggie told me it was her favorite kind of meal.

Their coming together created some unexpected ripples in the family. Soul Mama came back to Florida earlier then planned. And Uncle Josh came to visit from the Big Apple to hang with the Aunties.

Noah and I decided to host a Sunday afternoon BBQ by the pool and invite the whole family.  We created an opportunity for a family group picture.  The last one we had was taken in 2000.  As you can see in the picture below - there was only one baby, Goddess In Real Life Alexandra. 

 

And here we are, eight years later.  This side of our family has been blessed with twelve children (eight of them here in our 2008 family picture).

Some of the family members of our clan have been out of touch.  Some of our cousins were not aware of how many we truly are.  And how we are growing - and what a beautiful new generation of cousins is being created.  Which was why Noah and I became ambassadors of peace in our families.  Tee hee!!!

BOUNDARIES - Walking a fine line

Maintenance of my body requires me to steer clear and away from toxic environments - I CHOOSE not to be around second hand smoke, people who smoke, environments with alcohol and/or smoke.

I know this may sound selfish but LET ME BREATHE THE AIR
(lyric from a great song by Little River Band, Cool Change - check out this cool video)

This lifestyle I created for myself took some time to manifest. Being that there was no manual for how my body works (there is one now, thank you Dr. Oz), I had to learn slowly what works and what doesn't.  

I had to, one baby step at a time, let go of old habits and imprints (smoking, overeating, being a couch potato, stressed at work) and replace them with new patterns of Be-HAVE-ior.  I tried and tested all sorts of different things (food, exercise, meditation) until I observed and felt what was working for me.   I started listening to the messages my body was giving me.  And I had to be patient and gentle with myself as I learned new things and techniques to give my body what it needs at the physical level so it can function smoothly.

I am still learning to set my BOUNDARIES - My house, my Rules. Learning to say NO to what hurts my body and injures my soul.   

And yet, at some point, drawing lines can get kind of sticky.   Almost like holding myself back from enjoying life because I drew too many lines around me.  Like surviving instead of thriving.

A lot of things are shifting in my life right meow.  Mostly in my head as I analyze and think and weigh my options.  And then into my heart so I can feel what is true for me.   Now, I am ready to cross the threshold.   I feel I am becoming more flexible and open to life, no matter what comes.  Crossing the lines instead of being fenced in.    Tee hee!!!

Daily OM -Allowing my Soul to Shine

I get these Daily OMs sent to me every day.  Positive thoughts and musings to give me perspective for my day.   One was about ALLOWING MY SOUL TO SHINE.  And HIDING.  

When I am lost inside my rich world I tend to forget to come out and play.  I can spend days at home without venturing outside during the light(well, all that has changed since Ginger).  I prefer communing with nature than with PEOPLE.   I always thought I was really shy.  And then I reMEMBERed.  When I was little I wasn't shy.  I was assertive and confident and happy.  Something happened to my heart - little by little -  I started closing it up, building a wall  - letting the outside world fade away as I explored within.  Daily OM says shyness might be a defense.  That I might be hiding.

Now, I usually run and hide when I feel hurt or don't understand the energies or PEOPLE around me.  Or if I feel PAIN.  Then I hide within my sacred spaces until I can open my heart again and re-examine what is going on.

This week has been especially wonderful and energetically tough.  Great Aunties here together, lots of family visiting and opening up our home and sacred space and BEING.  Lots of old patterns (of thought, behavior and attitudes) have come up.   New Moon.   OVERwhelm.  And the slightly chilly weather to blow it all away once it has served its purpose.

I have been thinking about this HIDING.  Giving it great thought.  I always thought I was HIBERNATING.  The weather hit 55 degrees in Florida and the sweatshirts and jackets and closed shoes came out.   For me, hibernating lets me restore and replenish.  Gives me time to absorb and chew on my experiences.  Gives me an opportunity to ground and center myself.  Helps me regain my balance.  HIDING - that is running away and losing faith and withdrawing from LIFE.  I did this too for years.  During the "dePRESSion".  

What helped me then was BABY STEPS.  A little bit every day.   Making a COMMITment to something new or different.  And being CONSISTent.  Small steps outside my door every day with Ginger Mama, not just in the dark of the morning but when the sun rises too.  Getting to know my neighbors and the squirrels that reside in the trees.  Praying with the trees as the wind blows through.  Feeling the sun on my face.  Just being ME and spreading ripples of LOVE energy out into the world.

Daily OM writes:    "Stepping out of the wings and letting your light shine is actually a way to serve the planet. We each have a responsibility to contribute to our community, and we do this when we let ourselves be seen. It doesn’t do anyone any good when we try to hide. We are all beings of light and we are here to light the way for each other ..... Shine your light out into the world, bless those around you by sharing your gifts, and watch the universe glow."

Off to laugh and shine and glow.  Tee hee!!! Yipee!!!

Saying Yes to the Universe

I have had many opportunities to say YES to the Universe in the last few weeks. And each YES has led to so many discoveries about me.  

During the month of May, I was invited to Career Day at Harbordale Elementary in Fort Lauderdale. Goddess Shelley, one of their guidance counselors, asked me to come and talk about my career as a Laughter Yoga Leader with four Grade 3 classrooms.

At first, I was a little apprehensive. What will I tell them? What can I say? I do have an unusual career.   Tee hee!!!   I did a little research and read a great article by WSM Jeffrey posted at the Laughter Yoga Institute.  His words resonated and reminded me of what I already knew, "all you have to do is BE YOURSELF."

I thought about how my whole life has prepared me for just that - being MYself. And then I reMEMBERed, the most important thing is to just SHOW UP.   The right words appear when I breathe and connect with my heart.

On Friday morning, I put on my happy colors and braided my hair and let my little girl PEEP come out to play. I map-quested directions and gave myself plenty of time to get there early so I could find parking.  I sat in the car breathing and centering, preparing myself to embrace the energies of the school and all the people and little PEEPs I would come in contact with.

I signed in to the school system and was led to the Guidance Counselor's office where Goddess Shelley gave me my classrooms and locations.   I was blessed to meet a whole bunch of other people who were going to share amazing things with these students (a chef who brought creme brulee and was going to caramelize the sugar with the kids, a realtor with maps and pictures and a computer, a vet's assistant who brought in a helping dog, a pizzeria owner who brought pizza and all the ingredients to make it, and a mounted police officer who brought his horse....tee hee... I wish they had presented these kinds of careers when I was a kid).

I entered my first classroom to find a bunch of tired and sleepy third graders who were more than happy to oblige me by getting up and putting their hands on their bellies and HO HO HA HA HA with me. We clapped our hands to get our CHI going and tried some Greeting Laughter and talked about the benefits of Yoga and Laughter and then we laughed and laughed.  Time was up and I moved onto my next classroom.

The children asked about laughing and relaxation with yoga and we felt the laughter in different parts of our bodies.   We tried Shy Laughter and we gave ourselves opportunities to laugh out loud from our bellies and activate our meridian lines by touching our fingertips.  Then it was time to move on to the next class.

I noticed that the kids had an easy time with the exercises and laughing - although holding hands with the opposite sex was slightly more challenging.  However, I was surprised that they showed the most enthusiasm to our VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD, and jumping out of their seats YAY.

My favorite part was all the hugs and kisses I got before I left.  And I am so grateful for the thank you letters that fill up my scrapbook.

Very Good, Very Good, Yay!!!

Saying NO to others

I am still working on this one - saying NO to others so I can say YES to myself. And being a witch, tee hee!!!

I have a big heart and I want to help - I want to give of myself and my time - and yet, when I do that, I don't get what I set out to accomplish done and sometimes I also feel drained and empty with no energy left over for me.

In every relationship I have with others, we exchange energy. This creates a psychic cord between us. And when a conversation ends or a friendship ends, this connection remains open. A channel between me and the other soul where emotions and energy still flow. Sometimes, it hinders my progress and growth. And saps my energy as well.

In order to be true to ME and MY LIFE, I need to learn to say NO in a loving and direct manner.

I have let go of so many intimate relationships this year - all of them with women, Goddess sisters. It took me so long to open my heart and express myself. And misunderstandings and hidden agendas and probably a lot of naivete on my part could not heal the wounds that were created. I ran away to shield myself. Time heals all wounds, they say. When time had lessened my confusion, I tried to open the door to communication and understanding and find out what went wrong. However, these relationships ended. It takes two to tango.

I have grieved so much for what could have been, the partnerships that could have been created, the collaboration of women, the communion of Goddess sisters. And yet, to be true to me, I have let go of the how and why and pray that I planted enough seeds that with time and sunshine and rain will blossom on their own.

I thought it would be easy. Women with women - I didn't understand about the conditioning and the competition and the negativity - complaining and being victims. And about MEN and women's RELAT-ion-SHIP to them. And all the more rules and craziness that comes with it. I am more interested in uplifting my Goddess sisters and moving forward together - strong and powerful in who we BE. And sometimes I feel so alone on this journey.

I am cutting cords and separating myself from old baggage, unnecessary attachments, and release you from connections that are no longer serving you. I call upon Archangel Michael to cut the chords and help me fill these spaces with healing sunlight and cleanse. And in doing so, release these sister Goddesses so they may reach new stages of growth.

Life - such a delicate balance of GIVING and RECEIVING.

I need to receive - I need to ASK for HELP - so many things going on - clearing the clutter - letting go of what no longer serves me so I can participate in what I truly love. And staying true to ME.

Thanks for the opportunity to remind myself.

Becoming Whole Again

Grieving - GRIEF - Letting go

I didn't think this applied to me. NO-body has died recently - my life is charmed - and yet I have the symptoms, I am feeling, I am grieving.

Definition of grieving: "When we experience any kind of devastating loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one, a dream, or a relationship, feelings may arise within us that are overwhelming or difficult to cope with."

I have been separated from many WO-men this year, Sister Goddesses - who are traveling different paths. Yet for the most part, I have come into acceptance - one of the last stages of grief - understanding that people come into your life for a season, a reason ... and being grateful for the gifts they shared.

What I am really grieving for is my physical loss - being torn apart from my EGG. This egg that I have had since I was conceived and birthed. This egg carrying my X chromosomes as well as those of my mother's, my mother's mother's and her mother before that. This Egg that could have been fertilized .... And lately, the losing of this Egg is causing me great GRIEF. My uterus sheds its lining and I bleed - tears for the Earth. I feel so empty, my container is leaking, I cannot take anything in.

So I go through the stages - Denial, ANGER - Rah!!!, bargaining, dePRESSion, acceptance -the great spiral of GRIEF that floods my body with emotions once a month until I lose my balance.

Caught up in all the sludge of FEELINGS and hor-MOANs and stories. Our society would rather not talk about this miraculous gift we Goddesses have and the powers it bestows upon us when we embrace the cycle. Sigh!!! I am surely trying to do that.

And then I have wonderful moments of GRACE when I can laugh and find my strength and faith to carry on until the next egg is ready to O-VU-late. I know I will find my center again. I am learning to ground and flow with the grief and let it course through me and EMbrace the wonderful energy it gives me - the healing heat in my hands, the knowing in my heart and the visions of my third eye. The creative juices that it sparks if I BREATHE and feel the GRIEF whole-ly and HOLY.

I am reLEARNing how to move through the PAIN and dance with my grief. How to heal myself and give up the suffering and experience the uncomfortableness and breathe through the tightening. Allowing my ES-sense to BREATHE and SWAY. Dancing with life. Flowing with my body.

Waiting patiently for the EGG that chooses to stay and play.