Thursday, August 14, 2008

NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH LOVE


I had been concerned about Ginger Mama's behavior - separation anxiety, the books label it. She was running from window to window, slobbering and reaching up attempting to open doors, scratching with her nails which would leave marks in the wood. No, TRUTH, I wasn't really concerned about Ginger Mama. I was concerned about Noah.

Noah, my wonderful husband, is a complete VIRGO. Total order man - cannot appreciate chaos and how it leads to new order - and totally focused on the minutiae. Getting all bent out of shape when he saw slobber or wood splinters - failing to see that the rest of the house was in great condition, no cords chewed up, no furniture torn, no peepee or pooh in the house to contend with. 

His best solution was to contain Ginger Mama. He tried locking her up in the bathroom. She got out. He tied her leash to the toilet and then closed the door. She got out. He tied her up outside to a tree in the shade. She dug up the garden. He bought a big cage. She broke it. He got a gate and left her in the kitchen. She jumped onto the counter and met him at the door. 

And Noah got a little crazy - ranting that Ginger Mama was destroying his home and she needed to go.   Raising his voice in frustration that his universe was changing because of the BowWow.  Once Noah was calm, we sat down and I explained to him that adoption was for keeps.  There was no sending GingerMama back. Back where? We had made a commitment to this new soul to provide her with shelter and love. We weren't going back on our WORD because we were having ISSUES adjusting.

I had read in a book that I was spoiling GingerMama with too much attention and love and had created this situation of separation anxiety. My YogaMommy straightened me out and explained to me that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH LOVE. GingerMama was just adjusting to her new life. Every time we left she did not know if we would come back, if she was going back to the vet, the pound, or whatever HELL she had left behind.

And it all came together for me.  I told Noah that we had a highly intelligent dog who was just getting used to her new life.  We would need to have patience and LOVE and treat her like we did our Meows.   Noah thought about this and looked into GingerMama's eyes. The war was over.  We stopped locking her up. We spoke to her gently before leaving - telling her where we were going, when we were coming back. We left her on the red couch with a big bone to chew on. 

Now, GingerMama is calmer. She knows we are coming home. She still exhibits pent up energy when she sees us but she is no longer creating havoc in the house.  And Noah has found more peace. No longer threatening to send her away or accusing her of hurting our home. He's even agreed that the red couch is all hers and that we need her permission to share her sacred space. Tee hee!!!

1 comment:

Brenda said...

Oh--
I am so happy that your lil family is more peace-full
ahhhhhhh
life is so good
love you,
brenda bliss