Saturday, August 9, 2008

Sunday Scribbling #123 - ASK




I used to ASK why all the time.  Why is the sky blue?  Why are the clouds white? Why this and not that?  Why do I have to do that?  (My husband says it's because I am so curious.  Granted my middle name starts with a "Y".  Tee hee!!!)  And then over the years when things happened that I could not comprehend, my question became:  Why me?  OR Why is this happening to me?   

Now, having studied this BE-have-ior, I see that this pattern was imprinted.   This is my Mom's favorite question, my Grandpa's and who knows how many generations back it goes.

What I have found to be true, is asking the WHY question keeps me stuck.  It keeps me in denial of what is occurring looking for an explanation instead of accepting what is and finding a way to move forward or INward.

I heave learned to reframe and ask another question which helps me cope and understand better - WHAT - What is there here for me to learn?  What is the gift of this moment?  What can I do next?  What do I know to be true?  So many powerful and EMpowering questions.


The What question lets me investigate and explore.  It allows the moment to reveal the truth - perhaps not like I expected it but rather in all its fullness and beauty.  And how it fits into the big picture of life.  Or as I once read, reMINDing myself that I am in Chapter TWO of my life and that the whole story may not be revealed until Chapter SEVEN.

And just like a favorite book, the What question keeps me anticipating with joy all the wonderful things I will discover on my journey.

10 comments:

Beautiful Witch said...

I've been told that "why" can be the most futile question. Like when someone dies and everyone is like "Why???" Even if someone gave you an answer, it would never be enough, so what's the point in asking? There is a time and place for why (of course!) but I think for me, it sometimes takes me too far out of being present in this moment. And sometimes it just doesn't matter. :)

danni said...

seems a very hard thing to learn sometimes how to get out of our own way so that we can move on - very nice piece!!!

linda may said...

What? How? When? Where? Why?Yes and our stories are not finished yet. Good ideas goddess.

rhbee said...

On the other hand, why can be quite instrumental when someone or some situation is acting arbitrarily towards you and yours. For example, one could ask why people who have obviously declared their intention to protest at Denver will be forced to stay behind fences and away from the action? Or why Prolifers bomb clinics, or why fear is being used to control us, or why we are so eager to play our computers while the real need is to take to the streets?

DJPare said...

Nice philosophy!

Rambler said...

hey really nice thought...replacing why with what...

jennifer hicks said...

thank you for the beautiful reminder of not getting stuck in the quicksand of questioning people or events. It really is more important to figure out what certain incidents tell us about ourselves and our needs.

susan said...

Hello fellow Shelfarian.

Thanks for the read.

mgirl said...

Very interesting, I am going to try that. Thanks for a very insightful read.

Beth said...

One study suggests that people can generally be sorted into categories by the questions they're most comfortable with -- and that these basic questions are "hard wired" in our brains by the time we are about 4 or 5. So, the categories were "what" and "why" (reflective types, generally analytical, critical, academic), "how" (the people who prefer to do things), and "what if" (the smallest group, speculative folks who wonder). I love your turn of WHY into WHAT as "what" seems more concrete, and, as you point out, less likely to lead to pointless self-recrimination! My favorite question remains WHAT IF, even as the ground moves under my feet. A lovely post.