Saturday Garage Sale

Heading into the danger zone

WSM Noah has very little patience with me

This illness is grating on both of us

I look normal yet have no energy

I can walk and talk yet get winded easily

We agreed to join our neighbors in a garage sale

I come back from a GingerMama walk

We've made this easy
Boxes already prepared

Table set up - we put some tunes on

We have fun with it

A beautiful painted tablecloth

We seem to have no

patience with each other

Later, I sit in the jacuzzi

Soaking up the sun

Laying in the hammock

Letting my bones stretch

Allowing my body to relax

I am stressed around him

He does not take well to change

Or is he just reflecting me to me?

He likes everything the way it is

Otherwise it stresses him out

He raises his voice

It intimidates me

It settles into my sacrum

It makes me want to SHOUT

Fabulous Friday

Supposed to spend the day with Sister Goddess Leslie

Instead I am driving around, asking questions,

looking for my wallet

Trying to appease WSM Noah's fears

I have such great faith

a miracle will appear in the mail

yet, "Reality" of not having any I.D. or credit cards

makes it too hard for both of us to just BE

Cleaning the house, emptying, creating space

Resting, relaxing, reading

Letting the body heal slowly

Walking with GingerMama

I can do that again -
Woo hoo~@~

What a fabulous Friday it is!!!

Thursday

5:30 a.m. GingerMama has me

walking almost two miles.

The weather is brisk

My energy is back - I speak to the stars

I pray for my well being

And the well being of the planet

Back home for my 7:00 a.m. Pilates class

Donna Madonna and I move slow

Less is more -

better alignment and form

Deeper understanding of the muscles involved

Then I nap

Letting my body BE

as it unwinds from its twisting and stretching

and returns to just BEing.

I am alive -
I am happy -
I am blessed

Wacky Wednesday

Opening of the Heart Chakra

Just had an OMazing massage with

Sister Goddess Galant.

I start tight and cold and vulnerable.

She raises the vibration -

I feel her heat above my core
She lets her fingers do the walking
as they prod and poke and pinch
she digs and backtracks and widens the space

I can take a deeper breath - woo hoo
she massages my diaphragm;

she releases the tension
no more heavy exertion from breathing

The house is clean.
Jordan came and cleaned

from tip to top - tee hee
the hairs, the fleas, the skin, the oils
vacuumed and mopped right off of my floors.

My liver still hurts - when I stretch my right arm,

I feel something bumping into my ribs.

Wow.

Who knew we could feel so deeply,

Such great IN-TO-ME-SEE (intimacy) with my organs.

How cool beans is that?

My kidneys are still sore -

probably last night’s workout at Toojay’s.

Some muscle is stressed out between the breast

and the ribs just below under my arm.

The wind gets knocked out of me

when her fingers probe the area.

She grabs my arm and starts rotating it,

looking for space, trying to create expansion.

It’s dreary here today and cold.

58 degrees F in the middle of March in Florida.

The mango trees blossom and the

smell is just a wafting minimal afterthought.

Blessings in all sizes, tee hee.

Made veggie soup - warm and hearty -

broth from my last soup -

2 pieces of kabocha squash, 4 carrots,

3 pieces of rainbow chard (orange, red and yellow),

1/2 an onion.

It’s been simmering for the last few hours.

Makes this house smell toasty and warm.

Took a shower after my massage.

Like a meow, the best way to unruffle

and ground - wash it all away.

Stood under the hot water,

warming up my bones.

Washing away all the toxins off my skin.

It comes out of my pores -

a pungent slightly acrid smell

of fear being released through my armpits.

Raising my healing vibration - made a playlist

of Sister Goddess Karen Drucker’s healing songs.

These songs help me open my heart and embrace

what is going on in my body.

Her wise words remind me to

be patient with this process -

knowing what a gift this is.

“When I trust and I let go,

I know that all is well.”

Soothing balm for my soul

A mantra for my mind

No food today

Not hungry, not necessary

This is new for me

Allowing, embracing, knowing

Temptation Tuesday

Showing up today for my commitments.

Up at 5:30 a.m. with GingerMama.
Cold 52 degrees on March 16, 2010
in Hollywood, Florida.
What is going on?
I have been here 13 years
This is the coldest ever.
Time for a change.

Called Sister Goddess Christina at 6:30 a.m.
Sorted and started a load of laundry.
Cleaned up after GingerMama and the Meows -
washed dishes, cleaned the litterbox,
cleaned and filled the water bowls.

Not sure where my wallet is.
On my way out the door -

pink headwarmer and white mittens

to keep the cold at bay.
Embracing what is.

SG Christina has Wee Grace's convertible

top down as we drive to the park.
We have this Omazing 2.1 mile walk around
a lake and in this wonderful tree forest.
We get to Pavilion 4 just in time to greet
a few laughter yoginis and we start.

HO HO HA HA HA
HO HO HA HA HA

This is my first circle back.
I am feeling so energized from my walk -
longest one in 2 weeks.
A little winded but excited,
I slow it all down a little.

We do finger HaHas and have parties
in our hands.

Tee hee ~@~
We stretch and shake and laugh.
It feels so good.
From the head down to to the toes,
we activate our chakras and

swirl and sway our ener-chi around.
We gibberish and Hokey-Pokey

as the sun shines and the wind blows.
What a glorious day.
The cold is easing as

the Sun warms us up.

SG Christina and I leave for Birthday Breakfast.
Our three year ritual -

bacon & buckwheat pancakes & coffee -

SG Christina's favorites.

First challenge to this new food lifestyle,
I order some eggs and potatoes
which comes with a shortstack - 3 pancakes.
Wow!
Such huge breakfasts.
My body is craving protein -
I dip a potato into the egg and eat it up.
27 bites, who’s counting?
The texture is gooey and yummy and warm.
My stomach seems to be okay.

Another piece of potato soaked in egg yolk.
So far, so good.
I manage to eat 1 egg,

5 potato pieces and 1 pancake.
My eyes wanting so much more

than my stomach can handle.

I eat slow and I stop when full -
Drink some lemon water.
Waiting for the burp to come up -
waiting for the sweet release of things
moving through my body easily.

I sop the pancake in a little maple syrup
Chew all the gooey concoction I can manage.
We take our time and eat slow.

About fifteen minutes later,
my body is showing signs of stress.
It’s hard to burp and I really have to fart -
that’s what egg does to me.
We go to another location for an Illy espresso
coffee to complete the Birthday Breakfast.
The opportunity to walk helps me pass gas.
Woo hoo!

Thank Goddess for bodily functions

that work nice and normal.
Finally, home.

GingerMama and I throw the ball around.
We stretch on the front lawn.

The sun is so yummy.

Off to the hammock I go -
a good stretch and nap does a body good.

Tonight, we meet Auntie Sylvia at Toojay’s.
She wanted Chinese buffet.
Too many factors out of my control.
Just thinking about it makes me queasy.

Toojay’s menu promises a vegetarian sandwich
with roasted vegetables and a little sauerkraut.
Plus all of Auntie Sylvia’s favorite dishes.
We meet there at 5:30 p.m.
We get a cozy little spot away
from the fans and the A/C vents.
I order the Vegetable Ciabbata Sandwich -
Auntie Sylvia gets my potato pancake
in exchange for her coleslaw.
WSM Noah takes claim to half of my sandwich.

Again, very big portions.

What is up with that?

Are we a nation that requires so much...

from one meal to another?

Great thing about Auntie Sylvia is
how slow we eat.
Dinner is a pleasure
I take little bites and chew.
I enjoy the texture of my food
and being with family.

My body is relatively happy -
sated by all these different
food tastes after a week of famine.
We are home by 8:00 p.m.
In bed and sleeping by 9:00 p.m.

Monday, Monday

This was my sign from the Universe.

It gave me peace and solace.

I am tired after this weekend.

Feeling a little worn down.

The energy exchange, the learning,

being out of my comfort zone,

being in a new space

Not BEing all here

It takes a toll.

Daylight Savings Time

and a New Moon -

to add to the activity I do to me-

tee hee @

Hard time waking up this morning.

GingerMama gets me out at 6:45 a.m.

It's cool and windy this morning.

I am not prepared for a long walk.

Forgot to layer up this morning.

We are home 20 minutes later

I jump back into bed.

I sleep in until 8:00 am.

I feel the urge to check emails,

catch up with “LIFE”, to do list.

I can't .

Not my priority.

I have housework.

Maintenance & upgrade of the

temple that houses my soul & the

Other souls who depend on me.

A little stretching before I leave.

GingerMama and I - in the front yard

doing DownDogs in the grass - breathe -

and into Child's pose.

I am at Yoga One for Itsy Bitsy Yoga -

I put some peaceful vibes on.

I pray and set my intention

I create sacred space

Three mats - three Circles

I drop the laminated poses around

- Intuitively - Knowing - Feeling

I am blessed with two lovely Mama Goddesses

and their Goddesses In Real Life.

We sit in circle and laugh with our fingers

We stretch our spines and wiggle our toes

These Goddesses in Real Life - GIRLS

- both 3 years old -

know their stuff.

It's OMazing -

we meow like cats,

we moo like cows

we fly like butterflies,

we explode like volcanoes

we laugh like lions,

we hop like bunnies

I love this energy.

We dance The Yogi, Yogi

and we shake it all around

We read a story and the

GIRLS run after bubbles.

The class is over - I clean up,

I close down, I go home.

I come home exhausted.

I do not remember the drive home.

I am having pains in my chest

hard time breathing -

I am laying in bed, I am crying

WSM Noah comes to hold me

on the left side of the bed

We fall asleep in each other's arms

Elly Belly lies on top of us

I use this day to sing and

meditate and sleep

Healing, loving, resting -

BREATHING

No other thing to do

I am still having issues with food

It is wearing me out

I attempted peanut butter this morning

One teaspoonful - after I eat it,

I find my right lung banging a tune

against my ribcage

My breathing is heavy again

Backing off and drinking water

I find myself in the kitchen at odd times

A little sad at my situation

This new forgetfulness -

My wallet its first victim.

Learning new habits, releasing old ones

I keep on searching for food

When I test, I am not hungry

I walk away -

my body's lessons still

fresh on my mind

Tomorrow is a new day

~@~

Eastern Savings Time

WSM Noah calls me

Honey - it's 7:00 a.m.

The clock says 6:00 a.m.

I am getting up to walk

I miss my exercise

It helps me jumpstart my day

and the pooping process

I walk in the brisk air for a half hour

I have a nice and easy bowel movement

Seems the beans agreed with me - tee hee ~@~

I am tired - I need more sleep

It is almost the New Moon

I make it to class on time - 8:45 a.m.

Today's class is more new material

And a wrap-up of our weekend

Everyone looks and feels tired

As we ease into Laughter Coaching

And changing our energies

We have a short day today

A Levity Project will end our

weekend on a swell note

A Laughter Flash Mob at

the Juno Beach Art Fest

Woo hoo ~@~

We have lunch at Sweet Tomatoes -

only 15 minutes to pick food, sit, and eat

Being conscious about my food choices

My plate is small and almost empty

A little bit of spinach greens,

some celery, cucumber, cabbage

A piece of Squaw bread

Feeling the need for a big dose of sugar

I cannot resist a little piece of chocolate

brownie with a teeny bit of frozen chocolate yogurt

Truthfully, a little hard on my digestive system

It gives me gas and burping right away

It does help me get through the rest of my afternoon

Off to the Juno Beach pier

We set ourselves up in the middle of the Art Fest

We freeze with smiles on our faces

and hands in the air

People are smiling and asking questions

The children know -

It's People Art, they explain.

The sun is warm and delicious

after being cooped indoors

for almost three days

We unfreeze and laugh all the

way back to the start

We walk away -

we wait for a sign

a LAUGHter Party - woo hoo!

We meet up with others

and start laughing -

we garner attention and

a few bystanders wanting to laugh
And then we dissipate,

like we were never there

So much fun to share love and laughter

We meet up on the Juno Beach pier
bouncing on our blue hoppity hippity balls
We say goodbye, we hug, we laugh,

9 first class students + 1 Gurudess (Guru + Goddess)

We part

WSM Noah drives me home
I am tired, worn out and empty

We stop at Chipotles for some more beans

We sit outside and chew slowly

Can't eat much

but what I am eating tastes good

I go home and GingerMama wants a walk

Changing my energy -
allowing me to ground and clear

And burp and digest and breathe

It's early - 6:30 p.m.

I unpack and shower -

change my water,

change my mood

My music is playing -

My vibration is shifting

I lay on the bed

Elly's on my belly

Her heat spreads through me

I am falling deep into sleep

Releasing and letting go

of this physical plane

As I relax and sleep

What can I eat?

Happy Saturday!!!

I am not yet functioning properly

I leave the house at 8:30 a.m

I arrive to my seminar at 9:15 a.m.

Same routine - smushed banana on bread

that seems to be all I can stomach right meow

We are paired up today as we try

laughter coaching exercises

We bounce on balls and use hula hoops

The twisting, swaying motion is good for

my digestive system - it is like dancing

I am hungry again at 11:00 a.m.

I eat a piece of apple - nice and slow

When I feel stuck, I suck on some lemon

It helps me burp and keeps things moving

We have much ground to cover

So many interesting personalities

We are nine

Laughter Coaching is like a

laid back version of Laughter Yoga

softer and gentler

deeper and more intimate

easier on my gut

I am going to try to eat

more food today

I actually feel hungry

A few of us go to Chipotle Restaurant

This restaurant chain was on Oprah

for their healthy and organic ingredients

I order a vegetarian on a salad

This portion is HUGE -

is this really for one?

I eat some black beans,

some corn nuggets,

a little guacamole, a little lettuce

I am eating small amounts on my fork

It is so tasty - so textury - so chewy

Part of me wants to gulp it down

olds habits screaming out

Food! Glorious food!

Goading me on to

inhale it into my mouth

Another part of me is fearful

of what might happen

If I eat more than I can process

I take a deep breath and

push my plate away

I barely get through 1/3 of my portion

This is a huge accomplishment for me

We go back to class for another four hours

of role playing and listening and learning

and LAUGHING - peaceful humming laughter

The A/C is playing havoc with my system

I am cold - I am hot - I don't know

I drink water - I try to ground

Centering exercises -

breathing and laughing

with kindred souls here

- this helps -

We have a group meal tonight

We are going out for sushi

I feel challenged and yet,

what an opportunity for growth

I order miso soup to settle my stomach

I drink the broth and

feel the enzymes working

I order edamame &

seaweed salads for my new friends

who have never had sushi before

And a vegetable roll -

avocado, asparagus, inside out rice

I have two pieces -

Too messy and hard to chew on 50 times

I am not really hungry anymore

I am home by 9:30 p.m.

I prowl the fridge

This behavior is interesting

because I am not hungry

I muscle test to be sure -

my ego and body

do not see eye to eye

I observe myself going through

the fridge and pantry

prowling for a something -

a taste, a feeling, a warmth

I slam the fridge door and walk away

I give myself a Woo Hoo for my courage

It is late - we are jumping forward an hour

for Daylights Savings time

I must go to bed

Back to the Real World

Today - I immerse myself

back into the Real World

GingerMama and Elly Belly

are both compacted

Sympathy pains for - tee hee ~@~

Dr. Darko, homeopathic vet and friend

comes to scoop the poop

and squeeze their anal glands

I wonder if that would

have worked for me?

Tee hee ~@~

Another piece of bread with smushed banana

Eating it slow - chewing 50 times

It takes me 15 minutes to eat my open faced sandwich

I pack a cooler of "safe" food for the weekend -

2 bananas, bread, parsley to settle my stomach

1 persimmon, 2 lemons to help my digestion

Strained vegetable soup - lots of it

I drive to West Palm Beach

It is a cathartic drive

Through rain and fog and wind -

Leaving the past behind

Going into the Unknown

Charting new territory

I arrive at the training location

My clothes are loose and falling off

I meet new colleagues in the

Laughter Coaching world

The room is a hotel conference room

Full of vents and an A/C system that goes

off every 5 minutes - what's a GIRL to do?

What an OMazing challenge.

Laughing is a little too much for my

central nervous system

I keep repeating my new mantra:

Peaceful humming laughter

I must remind myself

Baby steps to recuperation

I am trying to be myself

I am trying to focus and listen

I just want to sink into my body and BE

Our seminar goes on until 6:00 p.m.

I head back to Deerfield Beach to settle down

The weather is windy and cold -

dropping into the 50's again

I am tired - meeting new people

and absorbing energy

I force myself to eat a little veggie soup

I am needing sleep, sleep, sleep

I put on my IPOD - Karen Drucker's
sweet songs soothe my soul
I sing along about
healed and whole and healthy
I sleep ..... zzzzzzz

Day 8 - What we do on the right, we also do on the left

It's one of the things I say

in our Laughter Yoga Circle.

Whatever we do on side,

we must do on the other.

Woke up this morning feeling pretty good.

Not so swollen or miserable.

72 degrees. - GingerMama and I hit the road

We walk in the balmy weather

A little foggy this morning

We sniff the Mango trees

I have the desire to poop

Woo hoo ~@~

A little turd comes out

with almost no effort

My stomach flattens out

- just like that

I'd like to say that this is

the end to my sordid ordeal

However, it is just the beginning

I still feel my lungs bang on

my ribcage when I stretch my right arm

No thing feels normal

from my sternum to my anus

Everything is distended,

grossly exaggerated -

Except I am now empty

What to do with food?

It's like I've been empty

Can I just stay that way?

I've promised Sister Goddess Galant

that I will nourish myself today

Some sustenance

I muscle test as I go through the kitchen

My first reaction is to juice

Some light watery greens

Cucumber, apple, spinach, parsley

Very green and sweet

My organs are palpitating

Anticipating a lot of work

I pour myself 1/4 cup juice

And water it down 3/4 cup water

This seems easier on my body

Pilates class with Donna Madonna -
pulled out the reformer to protect my back.
We slow the pace way down so
I can listen to how my body i feeling -
what it can handle.

I am not sure where my abs are anymore

Ever so slowly, Donna Madonna walks me through

mermaids and leg stretches as we open my sacrum
so I can breathe fully again.

Laying down after my workout
Elly Belly comes to play on my belly
kneading the new space created from stretching
I feel the expansiveness that has been missing.

Thank you for this blessing of slowing down.
I am still a little feverish.
However, I am feeling hungry.
My body leads me to banana.
I take three slices of banana and mush it up
on top of this OMazing German bread
(my soul brought me this manna)
from the GermanHaus

Seven Grain Power
INGREDIENTS: STONE GROUND WHOLE GRAIN WHEAT, RYE,
OATS, BARLEY, SPELT, MILLET & BROWN RICE, WHEAT FLOUR,
FILTERED WATER, FLAX, PUMPKIN, SESAME & SUNFLOWER
SEEDS, BUTTERMILK, SEA SALT, NATURAL RYE SOUR, SPICES,
VINEGAR, YEAST

I am eating very small bits at a time
focusing on the 50 chews
(which is so hard, I tend to lose count
somewhere in the middle of a swallow) -
ouch, that one was too fast -
not possible to type and chew at the same time -

I feel as it goes down my esophagus,
I feel where it cross the liver,
going past the gallbladder and
that is where it slows down
right at the opening of the stomach -
there was a lot of undigested bread and banana.
Need to slow down even more.

Drank some water with lemon.
Lemon seems to help with the burping.
It cleanses and opens as it goes down.

Standing to see if I can burp more.
I burp, I drink a little more water.
I sit down and I take an even smaller bite.
I masticate.
I feel the millet on my tongue,
a little piece of sunflower seed between my teeth.
Itʼs like a sensation explosion in my mouth.
I chew.

Nap, jacuzzi, massage -
that is what I need to restore myself today

Sister Goddess Galant comes at 4:00 p.m.

We talk about how I am feeling

She tests my energy and raises my Chi

She touches, she tugs, she connects me to my core

She helps me find my abdomen muscles again

Woo hoo ~@~

I sink into her fingers

I let go of the world and enter my body

Swirls of sensations - hot, cold, deep, low

I sleep - I allow my body to do what it does best

Day 7 - half empty

Day 7

Woke up this morning -

slightly warmer - a cool 60 degrees

Can't get out of bed

Body needs to just be horizontal and warm

Get up to pee - all the aloe vera

slogging around my system

My kidneys are working just fine

It's the butthole that's not cooperating

I am following Sister Goddess Galant's advice

grateful my bladder works so well

LakeWood prune juice - so yummy, so rich

so many memories of childhood

Lots of muscle memory waking up

After no food for six days, the liquid is syrupy and sweet

makes me want to gag

I take little sips and big gulps of water

I'm waiting for a burp to relieve the pressure

And when it comes - what OMazing relief

All this weight in my chest dissipating

I can't even imagine eating until

I have some release

Too much pressure within

My body temperature is rising

my face is red and hot

My hands are cold

My belly is dense and heavy

blossoming out into a ball

I try some early morning stretching -

front bends, cat, cow

Hard time feeling my abdomen -

everything inside feels like mush

Supposed to take Mom and Dad to the Miami airport

Not sure I can handle being in the car all that time

Back to bed until the jacuzzi warms up

Signed up for a Laughter Coaching seminar

Need to show up for this weekend event

Not sure I have the strength to follow through

Trusting and surrendering to the Universe

Being patient with myself and this process

Critical self care until I see a sign otherwise

Loving how white and wonderful

my teeth and gums feel

How thin my face is feeling

How defined my features are becoming

Drinking hot parsley water

Sister Goddess Galant tells me I need

some vegetable brothy puree in me.

So I will have something to expel.

And get some nutrients too.

I just happen to have a little brothy puree

from Wednesday night's dinner -

the night where I finally paid attention to the signs -

WSM Noah warms me up a mug

So tasty and yummy

Again - a little sip - some water - wait for the burp

Feel the liquid attempting to travel down

Feeling it in my organs as it makes its slow descent

Can only handle under a half cup

Body is not quite ready for such intake

Got to take it slow

I rest in the hammock

It's the only place I can stretch

when I am hypersensitive and hyperflexible

Parachute material helps me expand and

stretch while gently holding me in her silky embrace

I feel crampy and unhappy

And then I feel an urge to push

Right to the bathroom I go

Both feet down on the ground

I relax on the toilet

I focus on my breathing

and a little bit of grunting

It feels like I am passing a stone

This is not a pleasant feeling at all

And then a little plop into the toilet water

I immediately feel a decompression on the

right side of my stomach

Like a weight had been lifted

The whole side flattened

where once had been a bump - woo hoo ~@~

I feel like I have dropped 10 years of stress

There is still swelling on my left side

Not all has left my system

My parents are freaking

You have to go to the hospital

Or take a suppository and go for some tests

We agree that if my status is the same

upon their return, we will try their way

Western medicine way

We laugh at the irony of the situation

Me -

being full of shit -

tee hee ~@~

They kiss me and wrap me

in family love and healing

I go lay down - not necessarily sleep -

although that form seems to work best for pain

My stomach gets to gurgle in peace

While Elly Belly does her shiatsu magic

Wow ~@~

Life is looking so much better!

Day 6 - What Food?

Day 6 -

It's cold again - 55 degrees -

I'm up at 5:30 a.m.

GingerMama and I

trying to catch peeks of the Moon

We walk for 25 minutes

in silent oblivion

one step in front of the other

feeling deep in my bod

as GingerMama picks up my vibe

SG Galant warned me that I might feel mean and crabby -
the toxins inside might affect me and my behavior
I already feel irritated and unhappy
I slept about 4 hours last night -
Karen Drucker's healing words

playing in the background,
soothing my soul.

I am ready to drink more prune juice,

anything for a release.
I never knew constipation felt like this
I reMIND myself that I

never want to feel this way again.

Choices, choices, choices.

We get back and I stretch

Over the roller, I guide it

below my shoulderblades

and down my back -

slowly and gently,

as I move "stuff" out

Easing the toxins around and

over the stuck places

My stomach is bulgeing - tight and compact,

a little mound of not happy

I try to poop

My anus muscle is

not ready to let go

I give myself another shot of prune juice

I am acquiring the taste of this sweet nectar

My body gurgles a little and releases a burp

Keeping my nervous system calm

and trying to keep myself warm

What a dilemma

I wrap myself up in blankets

And I head to my hammock

Sister Goddess Galant will be here at noon

I need her healing hands

I have an internal earthquake going on

I'm hot,

I'm cold

I'm breathing shallow again

SG Galant quickly assesses me and

tells me I need to start eating

I tell her : NO POOP = NO FOOD

She yells at me there

might be nothing to POOP

She has a point

That is not how I feel

There might not be much

but there is definitely

something ugly and toxic

wanting to come out

We set up a yoga mat in my sacred space

We do restorative poses - deep bends,

her hands holding me in proper alignment

as my chest opens an inch and I breathe better

As my spine lengthens and the organs within

have space for expansion

All sorts of cracking and popping sounds

emanate from my body

After about six beautifully aligned poses

she helps me breathe deep into my ribs
I feel my breath go deep into my sacrum
An opening, a widening in my chest cavity

She lays me down and we begin again

energy testing, asking and questioning

putting her hands on my belly and

pulling, pushing, probing - creating space

allowing the flow of energy to resume

She leaves and I sleep for four hours

A deep slumber that leaves me tired

I am burning from within

Food, what food?

Who's got time for food

when chaos reigns supreme

In my body,

this temple that houses my soul.

Day 5 - Food - what is it Good for?

Monday, Monday so good to me

I happen to have NO THING on the calendar

Me and GingerMama and the Meows

Me in bed - hard to breathe - so full up

Stomach is tight again, ribs hurt

So hard to focus - so full of heat

No desire for food of any sort

Just my bed

Sister Goddess Galant advised that we have to get tough

Prune Juice first thing in the morning.

Forced myself to drink

1/2 a glass of prune juice watered down

Followed by a short walk with GingerMama
GingerMama seems to sense what is going on
She walks slow motion with me as I

do the slowest 20 minutes of my life -
three blocks around the neighborhood,

one foot in front of the other.

And what's up with the weather?

54 degrees with winds blowing

WHERE DO I LIVE NOW?

AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?

Can't go back to bed

feeling the need to purge

if it won't come out of me,

it's leaving my house

I find myself cleaning and clearing with ease

What was I not seeing before?

My period which I thought was over is back

WITH A VENGEANCE -

You know, when it rains, it pours

My efforts yesterday come with a price

Yesterday's speech and all the wonderful people I met -

my Chi feels even lower today.

Today is a day of rest after

absorbing people and emotions and feelings.

Under the comforters I go

for the next few hours

WSM Noah has the jacuzzi on

If the sun would just come out to play

At 2:00 p.m., we hit 75 degrees, it feels like 70

The house is still at 62 degree

The blessing is that I have

no where to be, no thing to do

Today I immerse myself in water

- jacuzzi, shower -

as I change the water within.

I fart - I am so elated that I almost swoon -
or perhaps it's the release of toxins

that has me lightheaded

Farting and burping - two bodily

functions that I took for granted.

I am so thankful for them now.
Even gurgling in my intestines

is a welcome and happy event.

I mean, here I am, DAY 5 - no food

Pretty OMazing for me
Just to BE and let my body BE

Breathing - LISTENing

to what my body is telling me

Sending love to my organs -

my liver, my kidney, my gallbladder,

my lungs, my esophagus, my intestines,

my colon, my sacrum -

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

ERASE, ERASE, ERASE