Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Day 7 - half empty

Day 7

Woke up this morning -
slightly warmer - a cool 60 degrees
Can't get out of bed
Body needs to just be horizontal and warm

Get up to pee - all the aloe vera
slogging around my system
My kidneys are working just fine
It's the butthole that's not cooperating

I am following Sister Goddess Galant's advice
grateful my bladder works so well
LakeWood prune juice - so yummy, so rich
so many memories of childhood
Lots of muscle memory waking up

After no food for six days, the liquid is syrupy and sweet
makes me want to gag
I take little sips and big gulps of water
I'm waiting for a burp to relieve the pressure
And when it comes - what OMazing relief
All this weight in my chest dissipating

I can't even imagine eating until
I have some release
Too much pressure within
My body temperature is rising
my face is red and hot
My hands are cold
My belly is dense and heavy
blossoming out into a ball
I try some early morning stretching -
front bends, cat, cow
Hard time feeling my abdomen -
everything inside feels like mush

Supposed to take Mom and Dad to the Miami airport
Not sure I can handle being in the car all that time
Back to bed until the jacuzzi warms up

Signed up for a Laughter Coaching seminar
Need to show up for this weekend event
Not sure I have the strength to follow through

Trusting and surrendering to the Universe
Being patient with myself and this process
Critical self care until I see a sign otherwise

Loving how white and wonderful
my teeth and gums feel
How thin my face is feeling
How defined my features are becoming

Drinking hot parsley water
Sister Goddess Galant tells me I need
some vegetable brothy puree in me.
So I will have something to expel.
And get some nutrients too.

I just happen to have a little brothy puree
from Wednesday night's dinner -
the night where I finally paid attention to the signs -
WSM Noah warms me up a mug
So tasty and yummy
Again - a little sip - some water - wait for the burp
Feel the liquid attempting to travel down
Feeling it in my organs as it makes its slow descent

Can only handle under a half cup
Body is not quite ready for such intake
Got to take it slow

I rest in the hammock
It's the only place I can stretch
when I am hypersensitive and hyperflexible
Parachute material helps me expand and
stretch while gently holding me in her silky embrace

I feel crampy and unhappy
And then I feel an urge to push
Right to the bathroom I go
Both feet down on the ground
I relax on the toilet
I focus on my breathing
and a little bit of grunting
It feels like I am passing a stone
This is not a pleasant feeling at all
And then a little plop into the toilet water

I immediately feel a decompression on the
right side of my stomach
Like a weight had been lifted
The whole side flattened
where once had been a bump - woo hoo ~@~

I feel like I have dropped 10 years of stress
There is still swelling on my left side
Not all has left my system

My parents are freaking
You have to go to the hospital
Or take a suppository and go for some tests
We agree that if my status is the same
upon their return, we will try their way
Western medicine way

We laugh at the irony of the situation
Me -
being full of shit -
tee hee ~@~
They kiss me and wrap me
in family love and healing

I go lay down - not necessarily sleep -
although that form seems to work best for pain
My stomach gets to gurgle in peace
While Elly Belly does her shiatsu magic

Wow ~@~
Life is looking so much better!

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