Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Day 6 - What Food?

Day 6 -

It's cold again - 55 degrees -
I'm up at 5:30 a.m.
GingerMama and I
trying to catch peeks of the Moon

We walk for 25 minutes
in silent oblivion
one step in front of the other
feeling deep in my bod
as GingerMama picks up my vibe

SG Galant warned me that I might feel mean and crabby -
the toxins inside might affect me and my behavior
I already feel irritated and unhappy
I slept about 4 hours last night -
Karen Drucker's healing words
playing in the background,
soothing my soul.

I am ready to drink more prune juice,
anything for a release.
I never knew constipation felt like this
I reMIND myself that I
never want to feel this way again.

Choices, choices, choices.

We get back and I stretch
Over the roller, I guide it
below my shoulderblades
and down my back -
slowly and gently,
as I move "stuff" out

Easing the toxins around and
over the stuck places
My stomach is bulgeing - tight and compact,
a little mound of not happy

I try to poop
My anus muscle is
not ready to let go

I give myself another shot of prune juice
I am acquiring the taste of this sweet nectar
My body gurgles a little and releases a burp

Keeping my nervous system calm
and trying to keep myself warm
What a dilemma

I wrap myself up in blankets
And I head to my hammock

Sister Goddess Galant will be here at noon
I need her healing hands
I have an internal earthquake going on

I'm hot,
I'm cold
I'm breathing shallow again

SG Galant quickly assesses me and
tells me I need to start eating
I tell her : NO POOP = NO FOOD
She yells at me there
might be nothing to POOP

She has a point
That is not how I feel
There might not be much
but there is definitely
something ugly and toxic
wanting to come out

We set up a yoga mat in my sacred space
We do restorative poses - deep bends,
her hands holding me in proper alignment
as my chest opens an inch and I breathe better

As my spine lengthens and the organs within
have space for expansion
All sorts of cracking and popping sounds
emanate from my body

After about six beautifully aligned poses
she helps me breathe deep into my ribs
I feel my breath go deep into my sacrum
An opening, a widening in my chest cavity

She lays me down and we begin again
energy testing, asking and questioning
putting her hands on my belly and
pulling, pushing, probing - creating space
allowing the flow of energy to resume

She leaves and I sleep for four hours
A deep slumber that leaves me tired
I am burning from within

Food, what food?

Who's got time for food
when chaos reigns supreme
In my body,
this temple that houses my soul.

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