Day 6 - What Food?

Day 6 -

It's cold again - 55 degrees -

I'm up at 5:30 a.m.

GingerMama and I

trying to catch peeks of the Moon

We walk for 25 minutes

in silent oblivion

one step in front of the other

feeling deep in my bod

as GingerMama picks up my vibe

SG Galant warned me that I might feel mean and crabby -
the toxins inside might affect me and my behavior
I already feel irritated and unhappy
I slept about 4 hours last night -
Karen Drucker's healing words

playing in the background,
soothing my soul.

I am ready to drink more prune juice,

anything for a release.
I never knew constipation felt like this
I reMIND myself that I

never want to feel this way again.

Choices, choices, choices.

We get back and I stretch

Over the roller, I guide it

below my shoulderblades

and down my back -

slowly and gently,

as I move "stuff" out

Easing the toxins around and

over the stuck places

My stomach is bulgeing - tight and compact,

a little mound of not happy

I try to poop

My anus muscle is

not ready to let go

I give myself another shot of prune juice

I am acquiring the taste of this sweet nectar

My body gurgles a little and releases a burp

Keeping my nervous system calm

and trying to keep myself warm

What a dilemma

I wrap myself up in blankets

And I head to my hammock

Sister Goddess Galant will be here at noon

I need her healing hands

I have an internal earthquake going on

I'm hot,

I'm cold

I'm breathing shallow again

SG Galant quickly assesses me and

tells me I need to start eating

I tell her : NO POOP = NO FOOD

She yells at me there

might be nothing to POOP

She has a point

That is not how I feel

There might not be much

but there is definitely

something ugly and toxic

wanting to come out

We set up a yoga mat in my sacred space

We do restorative poses - deep bends,

her hands holding me in proper alignment

as my chest opens an inch and I breathe better

As my spine lengthens and the organs within

have space for expansion

All sorts of cracking and popping sounds

emanate from my body

After about six beautifully aligned poses

she helps me breathe deep into my ribs
I feel my breath go deep into my sacrum
An opening, a widening in my chest cavity

She lays me down and we begin again

energy testing, asking and questioning

putting her hands on my belly and

pulling, pushing, probing - creating space

allowing the flow of energy to resume

She leaves and I sleep for four hours

A deep slumber that leaves me tired

I am burning from within

Food, what food?

Who's got time for food

when chaos reigns supreme

In my body,

this temple that houses my soul.