The Gift

Wow!!! My voice has been quiet here - stoking fires on other fronts - trying to find balance.

These last few days have been challenging. My body changes again. I KNOW I need to BE STILL and allow it to happen. However, the world does not stop because one changes. Learning my priorities - allowing ME to be - to feel - to experience - to let go.

Gentle life lessons.

I am the seventh generation. Voices in my head, in my generation, in my immediate world - - This hurts - that is painful - it is too hard. I am learning to erase that voice through LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. Redirect and raise and praise.

I find that it only hurts when I go against the flow. It is only painful when I forget to breathe. One day and baby step at a time makes hard become easier.

Yes, it is quite uncomfortable to shed a skin. Babies cry when they are teething. Growth is an uncomfortable process. Otherwise, it is uncomfortable. All growth is. Shed a skin, lose a tooth - all part of the process. I am so blessed to have gentle LLs.

The Universe prepares me for the cycle of BIRTH - this last period was quite challenging. 38 days until the egg dropped and the walls broke down. I was swollen for a week, belly protruding out and hot from my fingertips to my toes with the volcano churning within. And so vulnerable. So ungrounded in this flow of feminine ENERGY - not ready to deal with the world and my femininity - all swollen and raw as I feel now.

Thank goodness for Lucky Girl. She keeps me company and helps me stay calm. She soaks up my heat. She lays by my side and reminds me to take it slow as we nap. And then she gets me outside, sitting in the Earth, where my heat gets absorbed as I connect with the trees and we watch the squirrels.

DIO - Done

Me and GingerMama just before the Show

Did it, done - what an AWEsome experience.

Accomplishments -

1. One outfit to enter the club - see picture above - no one recognized me tonight; not my girlfriends or their hubbies/boyfriends, not my parents - ha ha ha

2. One outfit for the performance - got my act together - borrowed a bodysuit from SG Lourdes which held my extra tits and buns in place so I could focus on my performance; forgot to pack my black heels, wore the slightly smaller pink wedges; and I fixed my wigs to two instead of three, so it could stay on my head - ha ha ha

3. One outfit for after the show - a cute and comfortable mini and tank top and all make-up off - woohoo~@~

The club was packed and jamming - full capacity -

here is video of my performance:

For more of the evening's experience, check out LAUGHter & Draguation.

I did it, I did it, I'm so excited - I just can't hide it - woohoo~@~

DIO - Dress Rehearsal

Today was the worst

It took me almost two hours to get into Drag

I am swollen and miserable - PMSing

I feel like I have gained 10 pounds since

I started Drag It Out - well, at least 7 or 8

Our dress rehearsal was supposed to start at 2:00 p.m.

I was there - dressed and ready and sweaty (it's 97 degrees outside)

The Kings and the Queens - a line up - our music

the room looks awesome - the decorations are fabulous

There is major excitement

We finally get started at 3:15 p.m.

We are obviously not concerned for time here.

Ha ha ha.

The club is a little cold for my outfit

And I am not feeling so good today.
I am also # 18 on the program. Aahhhhhhh~@~
Quiet humming laughter - haaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa

I do not feel confident about my routine, my outfit
I am in a room full of women (and some men) who can truly dance and sing
And have been dressing up and performing for a while
What was I thinking when I signed up for this?

Finally, it is my turn.

SG Tara and SG Tabatha give me a great opening -

fabu fanfare - they even sing a Hava Nagila

all eyes are on me
for about 3 seconds... ha ha ha

My heels are too high, my dress is too long, my butt padding

is falling down and off as I move, my wigs are coming off
I am not lip syncing at the same time as my lyrics
ha ha ha

Thank Goddess no one is paying attention
these are the longest 3 minutes 10 seconds ever

I get off the stage and feel like crying

I still have a 45 minute drive home;

20 minutes to get out of my getup
and 30 minutes to wash off my makeup

I am so emotional

too many hormones going on inside
Tomorrow will be a much better day - ha ha ha

For more, CLICK HERE

DIO - I am a DRAG QUEEN

Do you get that Bitch?
A DRAG QUEEN - not just an itty bitty performer
long gone are the Karaoke days

Our last class on Thursday was beyond beyond.
We had an outing - fully dressed and made-up
We Drag Queens went on a roadtrip.

We drove in pairs (safe buddy system)to Wilton Manors
to check out the place we'd be performing.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE scoping things out -
helps me feel balanced and secure when I know
the layout - the rules - the lay of the land.

We walk up the steps - we're on the stage

we experience the length and width of it all

and what the room is like

(even though it was empty and fully lit, tee hee)

We cheered each other on as we pranced

in our high heels and did our routines

We clapped and LAUGHed and woohoo'd.

Twat La Rouge & Chocolatta had a surprise

We were going out into the public

We crossed a street in Wilton Manors

- one at a time, in total drag -

we walked as if we were models on a catwalk

once we got to the center of the street;

we screamed out our names (Alter Egos),
did a little half spin and kept on walking

It was wild!!!

We stopped traffic as people honked

and a bicyclist fell off his bike watching us

More than that - it was a defining moment for me

there is something strange about screaming
without any attached emotion

it's like a disconnect with your brain and mouth

ha ha ha

it was a powerful experience -
I am Chutzpah Hussy, you bitches.

Hear me Roar: "What's Going On?"

~@~

P.S. The funny thing is that I felt sick all day.

I didn't want to go to class. I thought it would

be best to go home after Laughter Yoga and

see if I'd feel better the next day. No way, Jose.
I remembered that SHOWING UP is what it's all
about. So, I put on a smile and a shitload of makeup

and I had a fabulous evening. Woohoo~@~

For more CLICK HERE

DIO - Practice makes Perfect

After 13 grueling weeks of transformation,
I am ready to perform - tee hee ~@~
at least I say I am
with a lot more bravado then I feel

I have the makeup down - more or less, if
I can keep from smudging the black all over
and I still need lots of practice on gluing my eyelashes
without getting glue all over, tee hee ~@~

Changing my face, my hair, my clothes -
entering the ALTER Ego -
the me that is not me,
that is within me,
tee hee ~@~

I keep on reMINDing myself that
this is for the GREATER GOOD
my little sacrifices - time, make-up, heels,
getting up on stage and dancing and singing
feeling the fear and doing it anyway -
to bring awareness to Drag it Out
this OMazing movement of Sister Goddesses
and this great program they have created
which benefits the charities they FUNdraise for
and helps the draguates gain so much self esteem
and new experiences.

Well, two more weeks and here we go~@~

For more CLICK HERE

DIO - Who's that GIRL?

Ha ha ha.

This is me right after Laughter Yoga - only 98 degrees outside tonight. I had 25 minutes to put on my makeup. This is why no foundation and yet look at those eyes. I think I done good. Tee hee ~@~ WSM Noah was pretty impressed too.

I am so proud of my work. I have an outfit and a song. I am getting the hang of this makeup. Painting your face is slightly different than painting on paper. Just need to be a little softer and gentler and slower. More loving affirmations for your face. Tee hee ~@~

Now, I need grit. My airy fairy energy is not what I want to get out of this performance. It belittles my song, my message. I am being asked to dig deep and share intimately. SHE is ready to emerge. I am afraid to let her loose. Ha ha ha.

Wasn't aware there were parts of me that had to be reigned back in.
What happens if SHE doesn't want to recede in the limelight once she's had her moment?
Ha ha ha - stay tuned....

For more, CLICK HERE

DIO - My message to the World

Classes 7 and 8

I am very conscious of music. The vocalist, the words, the message. I have an opportunity to perform - to say something - okay, lip synch something. I would like it to be powerful. I am searching all kinds of music. I even entertained Diana Ross' I'm Coming Out. And while I love this song and what she conveys, this is not my message.

Listening to my IPOD, shuffle on, letting the Universe send me a message - I hear it - "Hey, Hey, I said Hey, What's going on......." and I knew. This song was like an anthem for me when it came out in 1993. It expressed emotions I was not able to convey - a distaste for the patriarchy and the way it is interweaved in our society and my frustrations with HIStory. I also know all the words by heart. I found a disco mix which has a great beat and that I can work with. Need to get coaches' approvals - yet I am excited and giddy and pretty sure this is it.

Went to Party City to check out the options. Found a cute wig - I wonder if I can make that look with my wig. Went to Michael's and got a hot pink sharpie marker and tried to color the wig. Tee hee ~@~ It took too long and was too hot and I just stopped.

WSM Vaughn a/k/a Sigh Chosis came over. He drew a color picture of the eyes I want. He took me shopping to get the colors. He came over and patiently and gently went to work on my face. He is the first person who showed me how to apply foundation correctly and have a flawless face. This is what we came up with. I need to practice if I am going to accomplish this.

While WSM Vaughn worked and I waited in anticipation to see myself, GingerMama and Lucky Girl decided to hang out and watch us. Thank you WSM Vaughn for your hard work and patience.

I was not so gentle with myself as I showered all this makeup off. Interesting, isn't it?

Classes are getting faster paced. More information to share about tipping and arriving into a club and entourages. Reminders of who we represent - Drag It Out - and the reason and purpose for our performances - to raise awareness and funds.

For more, CLICK HERE

DIO - SHE Emerges

Classes 4 and 5

Okay, time to get my look together. Being a Drag Queen means everything you wear, your hair and your makeup is exaggerated. I am a woman being a man trying to be a woman. Tee hee ~@~

I figured a wig was the way to go. Found this great place in Hallandale called Hair Talk Studio formerly known as the Wig Outlet. Kathy helped me try on all these high end wigs made of real hair. Talk about a change. So dramatic - I couldn't believe it was me. I tried on blonde hair and brown hair, short hair and long, curly and cut. It was OMazing. And so empowering. In just a few moments, I was a whole other woman. Who would have known? Ha ha ha. Showed up in a wig to class. No body recognized me. Tee hee.

We had an auction - trading of clothes, materials, ideas for outfits. Woo hoo ~@~ Snazzed up this little black number. So unlike me. I have gone makeup shopping and bought another pair of heels (we are gradually gaining height). Tee hee ~@~ However, these long hours are definitely taking a toll. Perhaps it's just this intense summer heat.

I love, love, love the music my fellow Draguate Queens have chosen. Explicit lyrics that leave no thing to the imagination and tell it like it is. I still haven't found my beat yet. Although I am getting closer.

I am OMazed by the creativity and imagination of the performances and outfits I am witnessing. How people are putting it together and making it happen. Most of the Queens have their outfit and song and make-up going on. I pray this starts to come together for me too.

For more, CLICK HERE

DIO - Exploration into a New Beyond

Classes 2 and 3 -

I am here and I am not here. I am not sure I fit in.

Right after Laughter Yoga, I rush over to DIO and learn how to make eyebrows disappear and how to apply shading on a foundation flawless face. How to draw dramatic eyes and create new spaces. How to put together an outfit and ideas for recycling materials to keep the cost down. These AWEsome coaches, Twat and Chocolatta are complete LOVECats. They share everything as they try to keep this process sweet and simple and fun. Everything is provided in handouts to reinforce what we learn during class time.

Prepping us for performing - part of my Draguation - preparing our alter egos and music selections. Some of my classmates have it down pat - the makeup, the music, the personas. I have been through two songs - Whatever Lola Wants and We Are Family. While they are both cute and lovely - they are not me. Chutzpah Hussy is cute. That is not what feels like emerging. I am patient as I wait to see who the cat drags out of my psyche. Tee hee ~@

Learning to strut - holding my head up high - carrying myself tall - in heels. Ha ha ha. After I swore I would never wear them again. Yes, after seven years - I have gone shoe shopping for heels. Ha ha ha. The consequences of being in heels is seen in the lack of muscular strength in the front of my eyes. I have refocused my Pilates workouts on increasing muscle to the front. How quickly I remember why I stopped wearing them. How OMazing how long I was desensitized to the experience.

Many physical symptoms are coming up for me. This emotional overload and stretching of my comfort zone is taking a toll on my central nervous system. I am operating on less sleep after two physically exerting activities back to back. I come home full of enerchi - hot and bothered. So much to absorb and see and understand. So many emotions with no names.

For me, this is play. Dressing up, dancing and karaoke. For some, this is real life. A profession, a Joy of Being, a necessity. I am acutely aware of this during our sessions. How much harder this is for a man then a woman - or is it? (Since most of the WSMs in my draguate class pull it off with such ease and flair).

Twat and Chocolatta explain all sorts of details that never crossed my mind - walking out in drag alone not an option. Buddy system always - safety in numbers. What kind of moves a performer does on stage - and how to mix it all up. So much to absorb.

What am I doing? I still don't have all of my make-up supplies although I did get a cute Kaboodle Box to put it into. Me and makeup. It's still too hard to digest. Ha ha ha. Tee hee ~@~

For more, CLICK HERE

Things that make me LAUGH

NO more taking things for granted or making an ASS-out of U-and-ME.
Thanks to the power of WIKI and the DESIRE to be CLEAR, I look everything up.

For example, truffles... we ordered Truffle Fries appetizer at dinner tonight. We tried Il Mercato Restaurant in Hallandale with Great Auntie Sylvia and Sister Goddess Marlene. Auntie Sylvia who is 93 years old gave it a 5 lights up recommendation - a place she would eat at even though it's too dark to see the menu or your plate. Tee hee~@~ Thank you SG Leslie for being a trendsetter and finding this yummy place. And thank you Chef Emily for delicious and delectable dishes (such as Cauliflower Aranchini) and a great dining experience. We will definitely be back for more.

WSM Noah and I wiki'd truffle fries to find out what made them so wonderful and different from regular fries. And what exactly is a truffle? I've seen its name in association with chocolates - I thought it was a mushroom - I know it can be very expensive (see Pushing Daisies , Episode 203). Now, with the internet, the answers are at my fingertrips. I have the power to look things up. To find facts and instantly know instead of guessing or wondering.

Black truffles

A truffle is a fungal fruiting body that develops underground. They are usually found in close association with trees. Hmm, fungus in the earth found at the base of trees. Fungus a/k/a the mushroom, of which I am not a great fan (except of course the Setas del Bosque at La Barraca or the Sauteed Shiitake Mushrooms and Leeks at Sushi Blues Cafe). The picture does speak for itself. Looks and sounds like tree turds to me. Tee hee. Safeway is selling truffles for $999.99/pound (see Georgetown Metropolitan).

That got me thinking to the most expensive coffee in the world (according to Forbes Magazine). I first heard about it in the movie, The Bucket List (great movie - 4 lights up recommendation from Auntie Sylvia). Kopiluac coffee made from the beans of coffee berries which have been eaten by the Asian Palm Civet and then defecated. The picture below is a civet. This animal poops coffee berry turds which are then processed and sold as coffee. At the whopping price of $600 per pound. Has the world gone mad?

Civet

It's funny.
Mother Nature's sense of humor - turds. A delicacy. A most valuable commodity - be it civet or tree.

Tee hee ~@~

Money, money, money, it's so funny, in a rich man's world. (Thank you ABBA)

DIO - First Class & the AfterMath

Coach & Supreme Diva, Sister Goddess Twat La Rouge

I get to class late - sweating and hot from Laughter Yoga. I see Sister Goddess Lourde's familiar face in the room and Coach Chocolatta gives me a wink and a wave. I breathe in love and expand my heart.

My Sister Goddesses are watching movies and learning about different genres of Drag Queens. Clips from different movies so we can get a clue as to the spectrum of the world of Drag - Club Kid, Diva, Comedy/Camp, Sexpot. And then we watch an excerpt from Kinky Boots - which I love, love, love....

Chocolatta gives us a strut demonstration as Twat La Rouge shows us what to look for: chin up, chest out, arms behind butt, walk SLO MO and pose for the paparazzi. Twat shows us how to make our eyebrows disappear as Step 1 of our makeup assignment. So much to learn - I am so unsure and a little afraid of what I have gotten myself into.

Homework - pick my genre of drag queen, my alter ego name, my music and purchase the makeup on my list.

I get home past 11:00 p.m. and I am giddy with excitement. The next day, I get on Broward County Library's website and place holds on as many of these movies I can get my hands on. Again, divine intervention - 3 movies are instantly available. Woo hoo~@~

We spend the weekend watching Kinky Boots, Connie and Carla, and Priscilla: Queen of the Desert. I highly recommend these films. Besides great show tune songs running through my head - what I get from these movies is that Drag Queens really know how to laugh at themselves. And that's besides being trendsetters and dressing Omazing with flair and style.

As for alter egos, Noah came up with Chutzpah Hussy for me. I like it. It may suit me. We'll see. Tee hee~@~

For more, CLICK HERE

DIO Welcomes You...

is what the email said.... to the exploration and creation process in the "Art of Drag".

I love exploring the Arts - the Art of Doing Nothing & the Art of Play were wonderful parts of my life education.

And yet, I was having such doubts....

1. me -a Bio Drag Queen - acting as a man playing a woman playing a man.

2. A 1o week comittment - HUGE

3. Thursday nights from 7:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. - having to run from Laughter Yoga to DIO

4. Having to share the car with Noah and dropping him off at home before I go

5. 10:30 p.m. - way past my bedtime

6. Makeup and heels - that is SO not who I today (perhaps 15 years ago)

7. Performing in a nightclub/bar - haven't been in one of those for almost 10 years

So many reasons to say NO -

And then I remember the excitement I felt when I met my coaches....

and that my parents left me their car for the summer....

and that I get to perform ....

it's almost like the Universe is propelling me in this direction,

if I choose to say YES and go with the flow

Universe, give me a sign.

I turn on the TV and land on Logo TV - just in time to see RuPaul's Drag U

And how much fun is that. And my coaches are so much nicer. Tee hee ~@~
My LITTLE PEEP is jumping for joy - it's a GO
time to break free from the comfort zone and say YES to life - LeChaim!

For more, Click HERE

DIO - Something New

Back in May, Sister Goddess Lourdes invited me to come see her draguation performance. I was curious but previously committed to another appointment. And a little apprehensive. A draguation? She told me she was learning to be a drag queen - think Victor, Victoria with Julie Andrews.

She invited me again in June to come meet the teachers and find out more. She gave me a link to Drag it Out - a multicultural grassroots esteem building organization empowering people to question gender roles. DIO supports and educates the community through workshops, mentoring and FUNdraising events. Challenging gender stereotypes through entertainment while raising money for community-based causes. The more I read about this group, the more interested I was. A little out of my comfort zone, I am not one to turn down the opportunity to grow. Besides, I was so curious.

I went to meet the coaches and past draguates and other newbies like me. I met the nicest, friendliest and most open people I have had the opportunity to hang with in a long time. Sitting with my soon to be coaches and asking any question my heart desired, the little Goddess In Real Life within was jumping for joy.

DIO offers a free 10 week workshop on gender impersonation performance. For draguation, we take it into the public and perform. I would learn how to put an outfit together, how to apply makeup, how to strut, how to perform and how to release my inner Diva. Dressing up and playing with makeup and lip syncing my favorite tunes in front of a crowd. My LITTLE PEEP was ready to play.

Bring it on, DIO.

For more click HERE

Mosquito Message

Ouch!!!

The burning and itching sensation

as the site where she sat and

sucked my blood starts to get

red hot and irritated.

I used to kill mosquitoes -

quite violently too.

Smacking them right out of existence -

not even wondering what gift they had for me -

since they chose to interact with me.

I didn't know that all blood biting mosquitos

are female - MAMAS in fact -

needing our blood to produce eggs.

Instead of my childhood reaction of

anger and hatred to the MOSQUITO,

I take a deep breath

and open to grace.

Sitting here outside with her buzzing around

I let go

I surrender.

No more resistance.

I speak to Madame Mosquito -

I tell her if she is to bite me

she might as well jump onto my arm

so I can get a closer look at her.

A more intimate connection with me.

The gift of the Mosquito

- her tenacity and strength -

always adapting to her environment

Never letting thing gets in the way of her progress

Changing the way I look at things -

seeing it from Mama Mosquito's eyes -

a new perspective

I am such a giant in her world -

so much blood and nutrients

beyond her wildest imagination.

I embrace this situation

and all the gifts of Mama Mosquito

I am blessed that she chose me

to learn these lessons

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

WSM Noah and I purchased tickets to attend an evening with His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. I had never heard him speak before and something propelled me to be there.

I was particularly tired on Monday night - I wanted to just not go. Sister Goddess Leslie called me and reminded me it was my Joy Of Being to SHOW UP and be impeccable with my Word.

I reMEMBERed that I could JUST SHOW UP and get what I needed from the experience and leave.

With that, WSM Noah and I headed to the Westin Diplomat for an Evening of Meditation. We met up with friends, WSM Gary and Sister Godess Mina. We found good seats - an aisle in front of us and rows behind us - not too close to the front.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, a short little man in a big huge robe, came out to a room of approximately 900 people.

What was OMazing was that he led us through what was supposed to be a 10 minute meditation. We easily meditated collectively for 31 minutes. Time flew. And then we OM'd together - three times - OM, OM, OM, Shanti - the vibration in the air was so powerful. The collective ENERCHI was palpitating. I felt my tiredness wash away. I felt enveloped in love, a big cosmic hug - replenished and reenergized. All my cells were vibrating with peace and calm. This is what I had come for. I was ready to leave.

To my surprise, WSM Noah told me he liked this guy and wanted to hear more. We stayed to listen to the Q&A that Sri Sri Ravi Shankar was sharing with the crowd.

The gems of wisdom regarding relationships that I gleaned were:

When a person tells you they love you
and you respond: Do you really love me?
the burden on the person who said it
is huge. There is no way to respond
or validate one's love.

Isn't it funny how we never doubt that we are not
feeling good or depressed but we always doubt
our positive feelings.

Are you happy? I think I am happy. We doubt.

We didn't get home that night until 10:30 p.m.
(way past my bedtime) Tee hee ~@~

Feminine Power - ALANIS MORISSETTE

What a fabulous Sunday~@~

I had the pleasure of listening to Alanis Morissette talk about AUTHENTIC POWER.

Sister Goddess Alanis is OMazing.

Her powerful music (I'm a Bitch, I'm A Lover, I'm a Child, I'm a Mother)

among other OMazing lyrics and tunes -

the movies and TV roles she's chosen to play -

my SHERO!!!

A lovely program offered by Feminine Power and Women on the Edge of Evolution, Alanis was interviewed candidly and she shared some wonderful gems. What resonated for me:

1. She stayed true to her own authentic voice and integrity to her music

2. It is our response-ability to hold power in the world

3. She chronicles what is happening in her life - it takes commitment and courage

4. She follows her authenticity in the absence of role models

5. Time to STEP UP and STEP OUT to be Agents of Change

6. We Western women are single largest demographic with genuine interest in consciously

evolving holding the power to influence the World - woo hoo ~@~

7. I think of myself as an ANIMAL - sensitive nervous system

8. Authentic Power - ATTUNEMENT to SELF - soothe one's soul - raw creative EnerCHI

9. Being scared, heart palpitating - SHOWING UP and just saying YES

Hearing her speak and listening to her words, I am infused with faith and energy at all that we can create together in the World as we consciously evolve and claim our Power.

Alanis says: " Im still here - committed to our funny little journey

Sweetness of sharing my story and allowing it to be a collective experience

OFFERING it for the collective impersonal and allowing it to be their own"

She reminds us to stay connected to ourselves and listen to that tiny voice and express it.

She talks about having a circle of friends - girlfriends (Sister Goddesses, tee hee ) who support each other and listen. She says

- Our collective - all these little birdies - we're all flying -

- no final destination, no top and it's not lonely there

- creating a world, a community to land in when you are being a brave soul

She shared she'll be writing a book about all her practices. Some of the practices she mentioned: sitting in silence, having sacred altars, being in nature, and inner dialogue work 0 talking with all the different parts of ourselves that are terrified until it feels soothed or acknowledged.

Parting advice for other Shaky Poodles in the Movement - bravery is that quiet voice of courage - our job is to create muscle memory of just doing it anyways.

Thank you Sister Goddess Alanis for sharing and BEing - creating a role model for ME

Power of Three

I picked up my Dad for our first Dad-Daughter retreat. I wanted to spend a little one-on-one time with Dad. I bought tickets to the Symphony Stained Glass Series - a program named: The Power of Three.

Roadtrip!

We took Interstate 75 - across Alligator Alley and through the rain - until we reached just before Fort Myers. We stopped at the Outlet Mall during the drizzle to stretch our legs and do some shopping. We drove to the Marriott Sanibel Harbor Resort & Spa where we checked in for one night. What a great location with a view of the Sanibel Causeway.

Music Conductor Joseph Caulkins and the Southwest Florida Symphony Adult, Chamber and Youth Choruses sang in the beautiful setting of the Faith United Methodist Church. The program was fantastic. Three choral songs from different venues of life.

It rained that night. Infused with good music and yummy food, we slept like babies. We woke up refreshed - bodies rested, souls full and minds peaceful. Tee hee ~@~

See an Animoto Video of our trip below.

Saturday Garage Sale

Heading into the danger zone

WSM Noah has very little patience with me

This illness is grating on both of us

I look normal yet have no energy

I can walk and talk yet get winded easily

We agreed to join our neighbors in a garage sale

I come back from a GingerMama walk

We've made this easy
Boxes already prepared

Table set up - we put some tunes on

We have fun with it

A beautiful painted tablecloth

We seem to have no

patience with each other

Later, I sit in the jacuzzi

Soaking up the sun

Laying in the hammock

Letting my bones stretch

Allowing my body to relax

I am stressed around him

He does not take well to change

Or is he just reflecting me to me?

He likes everything the way it is

Otherwise it stresses him out

He raises his voice

It intimidates me

It settles into my sacrum

It makes me want to SHOUT

Fabulous Friday

Supposed to spend the day with Sister Goddess Leslie

Instead I am driving around, asking questions,

looking for my wallet

Trying to appease WSM Noah's fears

I have such great faith

a miracle will appear in the mail

yet, "Reality" of not having any I.D. or credit cards

makes it too hard for both of us to just BE

Cleaning the house, emptying, creating space

Resting, relaxing, reading

Letting the body heal slowly

Walking with GingerMama

I can do that again -
Woo hoo~@~

What a fabulous Friday it is!!!

Thursday

5:30 a.m. GingerMama has me

walking almost two miles.

The weather is brisk

My energy is back - I speak to the stars

I pray for my well being

And the well being of the planet

Back home for my 7:00 a.m. Pilates class

Donna Madonna and I move slow

Less is more -

better alignment and form

Deeper understanding of the muscles involved

Then I nap

Letting my body BE

as it unwinds from its twisting and stretching

and returns to just BEing.

I am alive -
I am happy -
I am blessed

Wacky Wednesday

Opening of the Heart Chakra

Just had an OMazing massage with

Sister Goddess Galant.

I start tight and cold and vulnerable.

She raises the vibration -

I feel her heat above my core
She lets her fingers do the walking
as they prod and poke and pinch
she digs and backtracks and widens the space

I can take a deeper breath - woo hoo
she massages my diaphragm;

she releases the tension
no more heavy exertion from breathing

The house is clean.
Jordan came and cleaned

from tip to top - tee hee
the hairs, the fleas, the skin, the oils
vacuumed and mopped right off of my floors.

My liver still hurts - when I stretch my right arm,

I feel something bumping into my ribs.

Wow.

Who knew we could feel so deeply,

Such great IN-TO-ME-SEE (intimacy) with my organs.

How cool beans is that?

My kidneys are still sore -

probably last night’s workout at Toojay’s.

Some muscle is stressed out between the breast

and the ribs just below under my arm.

The wind gets knocked out of me

when her fingers probe the area.

She grabs my arm and starts rotating it,

looking for space, trying to create expansion.

It’s dreary here today and cold.

58 degrees F in the middle of March in Florida.

The mango trees blossom and the

smell is just a wafting minimal afterthought.

Blessings in all sizes, tee hee.

Made veggie soup - warm and hearty -

broth from my last soup -

2 pieces of kabocha squash, 4 carrots,

3 pieces of rainbow chard (orange, red and yellow),

1/2 an onion.

It’s been simmering for the last few hours.

Makes this house smell toasty and warm.

Took a shower after my massage.

Like a meow, the best way to unruffle

and ground - wash it all away.

Stood under the hot water,

warming up my bones.

Washing away all the toxins off my skin.

It comes out of my pores -

a pungent slightly acrid smell

of fear being released through my armpits.

Raising my healing vibration - made a playlist

of Sister Goddess Karen Drucker’s healing songs.

These songs help me open my heart and embrace

what is going on in my body.

Her wise words remind me to

be patient with this process -

knowing what a gift this is.

“When I trust and I let go,

I know that all is well.”

Soothing balm for my soul

A mantra for my mind

No food today

Not hungry, not necessary

This is new for me

Allowing, embracing, knowing

Temptation Tuesday

Showing up today for my commitments.

Up at 5:30 a.m. with GingerMama.
Cold 52 degrees on March 16, 2010
in Hollywood, Florida.
What is going on?
I have been here 13 years
This is the coldest ever.
Time for a change.

Called Sister Goddess Christina at 6:30 a.m.
Sorted and started a load of laundry.
Cleaned up after GingerMama and the Meows -
washed dishes, cleaned the litterbox,
cleaned and filled the water bowls.

Not sure where my wallet is.
On my way out the door -

pink headwarmer and white mittens

to keep the cold at bay.
Embracing what is.

SG Christina has Wee Grace's convertible

top down as we drive to the park.
We have this Omazing 2.1 mile walk around
a lake and in this wonderful tree forest.
We get to Pavilion 4 just in time to greet
a few laughter yoginis and we start.

HO HO HA HA HA
HO HO HA HA HA

This is my first circle back.
I am feeling so energized from my walk -
longest one in 2 weeks.
A little winded but excited,
I slow it all down a little.

We do finger HaHas and have parties
in our hands.

Tee hee ~@~
We stretch and shake and laugh.
It feels so good.
From the head down to to the toes,
we activate our chakras and

swirl and sway our ener-chi around.
We gibberish and Hokey-Pokey

as the sun shines and the wind blows.
What a glorious day.
The cold is easing as

the Sun warms us up.

SG Christina and I leave for Birthday Breakfast.
Our three year ritual -

bacon & buckwheat pancakes & coffee -

SG Christina's favorites.

First challenge to this new food lifestyle,
I order some eggs and potatoes
which comes with a shortstack - 3 pancakes.
Wow!
Such huge breakfasts.
My body is craving protein -
I dip a potato into the egg and eat it up.
27 bites, who’s counting?
The texture is gooey and yummy and warm.
My stomach seems to be okay.

Another piece of potato soaked in egg yolk.
So far, so good.
I manage to eat 1 egg,

5 potato pieces and 1 pancake.
My eyes wanting so much more

than my stomach can handle.

I eat slow and I stop when full -
Drink some lemon water.
Waiting for the burp to come up -
waiting for the sweet release of things
moving through my body easily.

I sop the pancake in a little maple syrup
Chew all the gooey concoction I can manage.
We take our time and eat slow.

About fifteen minutes later,
my body is showing signs of stress.
It’s hard to burp and I really have to fart -
that’s what egg does to me.
We go to another location for an Illy espresso
coffee to complete the Birthday Breakfast.
The opportunity to walk helps me pass gas.
Woo hoo!

Thank Goddess for bodily functions

that work nice and normal.
Finally, home.

GingerMama and I throw the ball around.
We stretch on the front lawn.

The sun is so yummy.

Off to the hammock I go -
a good stretch and nap does a body good.

Tonight, we meet Auntie Sylvia at Toojay’s.
She wanted Chinese buffet.
Too many factors out of my control.
Just thinking about it makes me queasy.

Toojay’s menu promises a vegetarian sandwich
with roasted vegetables and a little sauerkraut.
Plus all of Auntie Sylvia’s favorite dishes.
We meet there at 5:30 p.m.
We get a cozy little spot away
from the fans and the A/C vents.
I order the Vegetable Ciabbata Sandwich -
Auntie Sylvia gets my potato pancake
in exchange for her coleslaw.
WSM Noah takes claim to half of my sandwich.

Again, very big portions.

What is up with that?

Are we a nation that requires so much...

from one meal to another?

Great thing about Auntie Sylvia is
how slow we eat.
Dinner is a pleasure
I take little bites and chew.
I enjoy the texture of my food
and being with family.

My body is relatively happy -
sated by all these different
food tastes after a week of famine.
We are home by 8:00 p.m.
In bed and sleeping by 9:00 p.m.

Monday, Monday

This was my sign from the Universe.

It gave me peace and solace.

I am tired after this weekend.

Feeling a little worn down.

The energy exchange, the learning,

being out of my comfort zone,

being in a new space

Not BEing all here

It takes a toll.

Daylight Savings Time

and a New Moon -

to add to the activity I do to me-

tee hee @

Hard time waking up this morning.

GingerMama gets me out at 6:45 a.m.

It's cool and windy this morning.

I am not prepared for a long walk.

Forgot to layer up this morning.

We are home 20 minutes later

I jump back into bed.

I sleep in until 8:00 am.

I feel the urge to check emails,

catch up with “LIFE”, to do list.

I can't .

Not my priority.

I have housework.

Maintenance & upgrade of the

temple that houses my soul & the

Other souls who depend on me.

A little stretching before I leave.

GingerMama and I - in the front yard

doing DownDogs in the grass - breathe -

and into Child's pose.

I am at Yoga One for Itsy Bitsy Yoga -

I put some peaceful vibes on.

I pray and set my intention

I create sacred space

Three mats - three Circles

I drop the laminated poses around

- Intuitively - Knowing - Feeling

I am blessed with two lovely Mama Goddesses

and their Goddesses In Real Life.

We sit in circle and laugh with our fingers

We stretch our spines and wiggle our toes

These Goddesses in Real Life - GIRLS

- both 3 years old -

know their stuff.

It's OMazing -

we meow like cats,

we moo like cows

we fly like butterflies,

we explode like volcanoes

we laugh like lions,

we hop like bunnies

I love this energy.

We dance The Yogi, Yogi

and we shake it all around

We read a story and the

GIRLS run after bubbles.

The class is over - I clean up,

I close down, I go home.

I come home exhausted.

I do not remember the drive home.

I am having pains in my chest

hard time breathing -

I am laying in bed, I am crying

WSM Noah comes to hold me

on the left side of the bed

We fall asleep in each other's arms

Elly Belly lies on top of us

I use this day to sing and

meditate and sleep

Healing, loving, resting -

BREATHING

No other thing to do

I am still having issues with food

It is wearing me out

I attempted peanut butter this morning

One teaspoonful - after I eat it,

I find my right lung banging a tune

against my ribcage

My breathing is heavy again

Backing off and drinking water

I find myself in the kitchen at odd times

A little sad at my situation

This new forgetfulness -

My wallet its first victim.

Learning new habits, releasing old ones

I keep on searching for food

When I test, I am not hungry

I walk away -

my body's lessons still

fresh on my mind

Tomorrow is a new day

~@~

Eastern Savings Time

WSM Noah calls me

Honey - it's 7:00 a.m.

The clock says 6:00 a.m.

I am getting up to walk

I miss my exercise

It helps me jumpstart my day

and the pooping process

I walk in the brisk air for a half hour

I have a nice and easy bowel movement

Seems the beans agreed with me - tee hee ~@~

I am tired - I need more sleep

It is almost the New Moon

I make it to class on time - 8:45 a.m.

Today's class is more new material

And a wrap-up of our weekend

Everyone looks and feels tired

As we ease into Laughter Coaching

And changing our energies

We have a short day today

A Levity Project will end our

weekend on a swell note

A Laughter Flash Mob at

the Juno Beach Art Fest

Woo hoo ~@~

We have lunch at Sweet Tomatoes -

only 15 minutes to pick food, sit, and eat

Being conscious about my food choices

My plate is small and almost empty

A little bit of spinach greens,

some celery, cucumber, cabbage

A piece of Squaw bread

Feeling the need for a big dose of sugar

I cannot resist a little piece of chocolate

brownie with a teeny bit of frozen chocolate yogurt

Truthfully, a little hard on my digestive system

It gives me gas and burping right away

It does help me get through the rest of my afternoon

Off to the Juno Beach pier

We set ourselves up in the middle of the Art Fest

We freeze with smiles on our faces

and hands in the air

People are smiling and asking questions

The children know -

It's People Art, they explain.

The sun is warm and delicious

after being cooped indoors

for almost three days

We unfreeze and laugh all the

way back to the start

We walk away -

we wait for a sign

a LAUGHter Party - woo hoo!

We meet up with others

and start laughing -

we garner attention and

a few bystanders wanting to laugh
And then we dissipate,

like we were never there

So much fun to share love and laughter

We meet up on the Juno Beach pier
bouncing on our blue hoppity hippity balls
We say goodbye, we hug, we laugh,

9 first class students + 1 Gurudess (Guru + Goddess)

We part

WSM Noah drives me home
I am tired, worn out and empty

We stop at Chipotles for some more beans

We sit outside and chew slowly

Can't eat much

but what I am eating tastes good

I go home and GingerMama wants a walk

Changing my energy -
allowing me to ground and clear

And burp and digest and breathe

It's early - 6:30 p.m.

I unpack and shower -

change my water,

change my mood

My music is playing -

My vibration is shifting

I lay on the bed

Elly's on my belly

Her heat spreads through me

I am falling deep into sleep

Releasing and letting go

of this physical plane

As I relax and sleep